Introducing "Love Like This Life"

Love Like This Life

by

Dana Brown Ritter

Hey y'all! Shannon and I have become blog/Facebook friends over the last year or so, thanks to a random Google search.  And I'm so happy to have this opportunity to share about my life, and the blog I write with my husband, www.lovelikethislife.com

 

My husband Michael and I were married in a beautiful beach wedding on the North Carolina coast, Labor Day weekend, 2009.

 

I had always dreamed of marrying on the beach. I wasn't sure, when the time came for me to get married, if I would be able to pull it off on the beach.  Because the man I fell in love with, the man who made me a little movie slideshow, and played in in front of a big fountain in Washington DC at night, and asked me if I would make memories with him for the rest of our lives, that man is in a wheelchair.

 

When Michael was 17, he broke his neck in a gymnastics accident on a church youth group missions trip.  Because of this, he's paralyzed from the chest down, and has limited use of his arms, and no use of his hands.

 

We got to know each other because of a chance e-mail in the beginning days of the internet.  We kept in touch via e-mail for 8 YEARS before we admitted to each other that there may be something there. You could say we took our time. More like God took HIS time!

 

Several airplane trips later, we were engaged, and a few more airplane trips after that was that dream wedding I mentioned.

 

When we got back from our honeymoon, I started a new job as the White House Producer for CBN News (Christian Broadcasting Network). This was not only an answer to prayer, but a dream come true! Well, more than one dream actually! I had always dreamed of covering the White House, and here I was, doing it!  I stood in the East Room as the first living Medal of Honor recipient was pinned since Vietnam. I stood on the South Lawn as the President of China was welcomed.  I had a seat in the White House Briefing Room.  My life was feeling very "West Wing." And I loved it.

 

Behind the scenes, though, I was struggling.  My new boss and co-workers had no idea that I was getting up between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning, so that I could take care of all of my husbands needs before I embarked on my nearly two hour commute to work.  I would get up, take care of the dogs, stretch my husband's legs, transfer him to his shower chair, help him go to the bathroom and bathe him, dress him, transfer him to his wheelchair, fix us breakfast, then get myself ready for work. Then, walk to the bus stop, ride the bus to the metro, the train to DC, stop at Starbucks, then walk in the office at about 6:30am.  Exhausted.  But thrilled to be there, and with a smile on my face.

 

This pace almost killed me.  I lost 30 pounds without trying. (That part was nice.) My hair started falling out, and I found myself very emotionally unstable.

 

I remember breaking down on New Year's Eve.  We had been married just a couple of months.  I had been so looking forward to being together, and living happily ever after.  And, Michael had an accident, I cleaned him up and realized he had a small pressure sore.  I felt completely overwhelmed.  He needed to stay in the bed, to stay off of his sore.  So, I cleaned the house, cooked for him, helped him eat in the bed (at that time we did not have a bed that sat up).  Then, he fell asleep before midnight, and I watched Dick Clark ring in 2010, and I sat up in bed alone, crying.

 

It was one of the lowest places I had ever been.

It was about that time, that we started the blog.

I just poured myself out onto it.

All of the emotions, the guilt, the feeling of being overwhelmed.  The good things too, like the happy times we were enjoying as Newlyweds, and all of the new things I was learning to do in the kitchen.

 

Michael really stepped it up, and started doing more on his own.  We sought some counseling.  I started hearing from people who were reading my blog, and got to know some other couples out there, in similar situations as us. I suddenly didn't feel so alone.

I felt like maybe I CAN do this? Little by little, the strength came back, I believed in myself again, and I gained all that weight back.

 

And little by little, my faith in the Lord was patched back up, sustained, and is now finally in a place of growth again.  It is wonderful to be on this side of the mountain.  I am now embracing my role as a wife and a caregiver and as a career woman, living out her dreams.

 

I now know that it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time.  I have gone through the grief process, and now life is so much better, and is generally filled with a lot of acceptance.

 

I don't know how I would have done it without the blog. And now, God is using us and our blog, and we are just thrilled.  We are hearing from more and more couples that are going through that dark season we went through, and not that I want anyone to go through disability – but once you realize that you an make it through – you realize that you can do anything.  And that's a feeling I will happily lead other couples to have.

 

Thank you so much for taking time to read our story. Follow along on our life on our blog: www.lovelikethislife.com

Fabulous Fridays: My Poor Brain

Apparently, there is a disorder where a person's internal clock gets out of sync, and their mind can think there are more than 24 hours in a day. :) Studies are being done to see if a certain type of medication can reset the body's internal clock. It seems to be pretty common for totally blind people to have sleep disorders. I know my body can wake up at 2:30 in the morning and think it's time to get up and get busy. It usually takes me a good four hours to go back to sleep, and then, of course, it's time for everyone else to be wide awake. I mean, I always knew a mom wanted more than 24 hours in a day so they could get things done, but I want real hours, not ones created by my brain only. lol

Speaking of my brain, well, sometimes i wish I could take it out and give it a good whoopin'. It comes up with bad ideas, for one thing, and for another, it don't know when to stop working, even when it is all worn out. I'm so tired of thinking the same old thing. Am I alone in this?

I'm tired of thinking about writing. I'm tired of trying to analyze everything about my works in progress. Notice, I did not say I was tired of writing or tired of coming up with ideas, just tired of worrying about it. So, I'm taking a break. I bought a book this morning, and I'm going to read it. So far it's pretty good. When I'm finished, then I'll check in and see if I'm ready to worry about writing, again. :)

I cleaned out a dresser drawer the other day. It felt so good, I'm thinking of doing another real soon. I threw away a whole bunch of stuff I did not need, and I put back a couple of things to give away. If I keep this up, I might find some room in this little house. :)

You know, it gets difficult coming up with things to say when you blog three times a week. So, I have an idea. Why not ask you faithful readers if you have something to say. If you are a writer and would like a chance to advertise yourself, your blog or website, drop me a comment or an email at
oldtimechristian@gmail.com
and let me know if you'd like to write an article for this blog. The important thing to remember is the title of this blog, "Old-time Christian". I will not promote books, websites or blogs that support pornography, homosexuality or anything anti God.

Maybe, you are not a writer, but you have a question or questions about blindness, writing, baking, crocheting or singing. I admit I'm not an expert, but I'll try to answer in the best way I can. If I do not have an answer for you, I'll go a-googling and see what I can come up with in the way of info for you.

So, whether you write or not, have questions or not, feel free to get in touch.

Have a fabulous Friday, and I'll catch y'all again on Monday.

A Writing Wednesday

Just FYI, I can not write with the TV on. Why that is, I don’t know. I can write when the kids are talking to me. I can write in the middle of the night when I’m half asleep. I can write inside my head when I’m in a shopping mall full of talking people. I can even make up stories when I’m supposed to be paying attention in church...um, I didn’t mean to admit that. lol But, for some crazy reason, when my husband comes home and turns on that TV, I just can’t write!

Speaking of writing in the middle of the night, I’ve been doing quite a bit of that, here lately. About a week ago, a character waltzed in to my head, right out of the blue. Immediately, I liked him, even though I didn’t know much about him. I still don’t know a whole lot, but he lets me know when he’s ready to tell me. A couple of days after I met my character, the heroine of the story started talking to me in my head. I was like, “What is your name, anyway?”

Deed, y’all she wouldn’t tell me. So, I wrote 1,039 words, the first night, and I kept saying “She” cause I didn’t know her name. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t write a book about you, if you don’t tell me your name.” lol

So, I went a-googling, cause my male character’s family is not originally from this country, and I needed a good last name for him. While looking up names in his native language, I found what appeared to be a normal, old-fashioned, American girl’s name. But, apparently, in Spanish, it means “beauty”. Aha! That’s her name! :)

As for research, well, I’ve stopped, for now. I need to do a lot, but I can’t. The biggest reason for stopping the research is that I want to write the story. My characters live in a place called “somewhere”, and they go visit places like “that town”. The bad guy’s gun is a “gun” and the illegal organization is called “something or other”. Ha!

I’ve been following the blogs and writing advice on
www.mybooktherapy.com
and their suggestion is to do a fast write. I’m not editing, even though one character has changed gender on me. I’m not correcting bad sentences, because it all makes sense to me, right now, anyway. lol I’m just writing. It looks bad, but oh well. It’s in pieces, scenes separated by about 4 blank lines, but that’s ok. And, more importantly, I’m not talking about it. No excerpts on here, no teensy excerpts on FaceBook, no chats with my best friends Anita and Peggy about it. Nope, I’m not talking. What you’ve heard is all you get. This way, maybe it will get finished. I sure hope so.

Another thing I want to say about writing, is it’s a sacrifice. Very few people take me seriously, mostly because I never finish anything. I’m real good at the big ideas, but not so good at following through. But,with writing, the biggest problem is confidence, not laziness. I love to make up stories. Love to read them, love to write them, and someday, I’ll be taken seriously. But, I digress.

Anyway, as I was saying, writing, for now is a hobby. I have to home school my girls during the day, do laundry, dishes, yatta, yatta, yatta, so my writing has to come somewhere after that. This blog, too, has to come in between it all. In today’s world, if you want to be seen, you got to have a presence on the internet, and i like communicating with y’all, my faithful readers, via blogging. After all, why would you consider buying one of my books, if you haven’t read anything I write? This way, if you like my blog, you might be more interested in buying my books.

People ask me, “How do you find time to write, plus do everything else?”

Well, y’all, do you remember the writing in my sleep? That’s it. I get up early or stay up late, put off doing housework, stuff like that in order to write. Does it have an impact on the rest of my life? Sure it does. Sleeping off a 3 hours wakefulness in the middle of the night, usually means we don’t get started in school until 10 or 11 in the morning. But, these characters who are talking, living and breathing in my head, have to come out! Even if no one reads them, the stories have to be told.

Take this current WIP, for instance. I haven’t told you anything about it. And, truth is, I’m not writing this one for anyone, except me. I want to write this one for me. I want to know if I have what it takes to write this kind of story, and I’ll never know, if I don’t try. I wrote the sequel to “Wild Heart” for a few interested folks, but this one’s for me. I need your prayers that I finish it for me, cause if I finish it, then and only then can it be a blessing to you.

Y’all take care and come back Friday. Think I’ll write about home school and some of the funny things that happen when you get kids involved. :)

Birthdays and New Year's Day

I turned thirty-three the other day. You know when you’re a kid and a grown-up asks you how it feels to be such and such age? Well, if you were to ask me how it feels to be thirty-three, I’d have to say it feels a lot like thirty-two but it a bit more depressing. It’s not that I’m embarrassed or depressed about my age, but I can’t help thinking that I’m growing older and nothing spectacular seems to be happening. That sounds silly, I know, but it’s true. I guess when we’re teenagers, we think we know it all and we’re going to change the world with what we know. Then, when we’re all grown-up, we realize we didn’t know it all, and the world is very much not impressed with the little that we do know. lol

There was a song out a few years ago called, “1985”. I remember laughing when I first heard it. It was 2005, I was pregnant with my first baby, and I was on my way home from work. The radio was playing in the van. The driver turned up the volume, and I heard, “Springsteen, Madonna. Way before Nervana, there was U2 and Blondy and music still on MTV. Her two kids in high school, they tell her that she’s uncool. But, she’s still preoccupied in 1985.” :D

I remembered a lot of the things mentioned in the song. I remember my dad watching MTV, and it was music videos. I remembered listening to Springsteen and Madonna. A cousin of mine used to have a cassette tape of White Snake. 1985, in 2005 was just as real to me, as it was to the woman in the song. A few days after I heard that song, I was sitting at a table and talking to some kids in middle school. The one said something about going to a Tracy Lawrence concert. I said something like, “He was popular when I was thirteen.” One of the girls was like, “I know. That was like when I was born.” Haha! That, y’all was the first time in my life that I ever felt old. lol

A friend of mine, when she turned forty, decided it was time to sit down and write the book she always wanted to write. So, that is what she did. Her one daughter is married, her other daughter is engaged to be married, and her homeschooled son is in high school, doing most of the work on his own. Me, on the other hand, now, I wrote a book, and now I’m trying to concentrate on raising my children who are practically still babies. I don’t know what nuggets of wisdom I’ms upposed to gain in comparing my friend and I,, but I wonder, when my kids are grown, will I look back and find something I’d wish I had done? If so, wonder what that will be?

I’ve always been a dreamer. Some of my dreams are big and some aren’t. Some are way too outrageous for my own good, and some, while not too big, are big enough that I don’t have room on my already-full plate for them to ever come to fruition. But, still, I wonder if any of those dreams will ever amount to anything. Maybe, they will become books. I love making up stories, after all. Maybe, the really outrageous dreams are only meant to give me something to smile about. Then again, we can’t see the future, therefore, we never know what God has in store for us.

It’s a new year. Last year, as I told my 6-year-old on New Year’s Eve, is gone. We’ll never see 2011 again. Babies were born last year, family members died. Some folks got married, and others got divorced. Those babies will never be teeny babies again. Those who have died, we’ll never see again this side of eternity. The person you married will never be your fiance, again, and the spouse you divorced is no longer yours to have and to hold. But, since we’re alive and kicking, God isn’t finished with us. He has something He wants us to do, somewhere He wants us to go, someone out there He wants us to witness to. And, if you don’t know Him, He’s calling your name and has something wonderful planned for you, a relationship with Him. Since we can’t go back to yesterday, we have no choice but to plow ahead to the rest of today.. We’re not promised tomorrow, after all. We have to live in the “now”. Now, is all we have.

As for resolutions, I made one. I promised myself that I would do the best I could do in my now. I’m not going to worry about the decisions I made yesterday. I am not going to worry about the decisions I have to make tomorrow. I am going to live and do my best right now. Right now, I’m going to love my children and show them how much I love them. Right now, I’m going to do the job God has given me. Right now, I’m going to be the best wife I know how to be.

Last year, about this time, if you care to go back that far on this blog, I was writing about obedience. Nothing much has changed since January 2011; it has, however, gotten better. Three years ago, about this time, I had just published my first book. A few things have changed since then, mostly I’ve fallen off cloud nine and realized writing isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. :) What will I blog about in January 2013? What will be different next year? Only God knows. But, my goal for this year is to live in such a way that when I look back to January 2012, I have no regrets. How about you?