Sunday, May 30, 2010

Some Folks Are Never Satisfied

Y'all know what? Complaining, or venting on the internet can be a blessing
and a curse. This morning, I'm going to let it be a blessing and mention no
names. However, if you know me, you'll know who I'm writing about without

Ok, so there is someone I know who is getting puny in her old age, but
doesn't want to admit it. She was to have company on Saturday, and she felt
that she needed to fix a big meal for her guests. I thought I would offer to
help, so I said, "I'll make that peanut butter pie for you, if you want.
Just bring me the stuff, except for the butter, sugar, vanilla and peanut
butter, and I'll mix it up for you."

She brings me the cream cheese, pie crust and whipped cream, and I made the
pie. I took special care using my mixer, to insure that it was as mixed up
and fluffy as I could get it. I also took care to ladle the pie filling in
to the crust, so that I would not over fill it. I smoothed the top with one
of those flat, rubber spatula things, put the top on and set it in the
fridge. My husband, bless him, even said it was the nicest looking pie I had
ever made. I told the lady who I made it for to keep it in the fridge over
night to give it time to set. So, what does she do? That evening, she cuts a
piece and tells me yesterday, "I ate a piece of that last night, and it was
a bit runny, but good."

Having not seen the pie for myself, I hated that it was runny, but figured
it would be all right. So after dinner, which I'll tell you about in a
minute, I asked for a piece of the pie. And, y'all know what? It wasn't
runny at all! It was smooth and creamy and it had set correctly! And, yes, I
am proud of myself!

But, while cutting a piece, one of the guests says, "Oh, that looks good!
Are there 2 layers to it?"

"Know," the hostess says, "it's just where Shannon didn't get it mixed up
very well, I reckon."

Now, that would not have been so bad, if she had not been complaining all
after noon. Her husband had been trying to help her cook, but she complained
about the type of butter he put in the green beans, how much flour and
cornmeal he used to make the corn bread, and how large the chunks of
potatoes were. "I'll never get them mashed up," she said about the potatoes.

Thinking I might be of some assistance, I opened my stupid mouth and said,
"When they are done boiling, let me know. I'll mash them for you."

I mean, I do cook for my family...sometimes.

So, when the potatoes were done, I proceeded to take the mixer to them.
Someone adds butter and milk, and I keep a-mixin'. After a few minutes, I
stop and stick a finger in there, and low and behold, they are lumpy as all
get out. Then, the hostess says, "Honey, you got it coming out the side."

Well, excuse me, but I'm used to mashing potatoes in something bigger than a
small sauce pan, so that I don't make such a mess.

Anyway, I turn the mixer on high and go round and round the edges, and the
hostess says, "Honey, that looks fine."

"No it doesn't," I tell her. "It's still lumpy."

"I don't see any lumps," she says.

Then, she asks the guest to see if there are any lumps, and the guest agrees
with me. So, I continue to beat the taters, adding salt as I go.

Finally, they were done to suit me, and we sat down to eat. Everything was
good, and then came the peanut butter pie thing. So, even though she wasn't
able to beat the potatoes, or mix up the pie, I didn't do as good as I
should have.

Well, le'me tell y'all something, if you can't see well enough to get the
lumps out of your taters, shut up and let someone else do it. If you don't
know how to make a peanut butter pie, shut ye pie hole and let someone who
does know how, do it. If you don't like the way it looks, be polite, say
thank you, and when you are alone, learn to do it yourself. I was only
trying to be nice and offer to help. I mean, I take care of Terry and my
girls and we make it just fine. There's nothing wrong with my 2 hands that I
can't offer to help someone who needs it, but if that's the thanks I get...

Well, now I guess I've spilled the beans on how a blind woman cooks. Yep, I
use my fingers a lot. Don't worry, if I ever cook for you, I'll be sure to
wash my hands, but y'all, my fingers are my eyes, sometimes. How else would
I know if the taters were lumpy or not, if I didn't feel them? How would I
know if the peanut butter pie is mixed up or not if I didn't touch it? And,
here's what might scare would I know if the water is boiling if I
don't hold my hand over the pot and feel the steam? Yes, I do all these
things. Sometimes, when cooking with a crock pot or slow cooker, I even put
my fingers down in there. When I pour hot coffee, I put my finger down in
the edge of the cup and when the coffee burns it, I know the cup is full.
lol When I fry hamburger, in a big pot rather than a tiny skillet, I get
some on the spoon and feel it to see if it is done. Course, you can tell by
the way it feels when you stir it, if it's done or not. As for draning
pasta, well, you put ye colander in ye sink, hold your pot at the side,
check with your...fingers! Right! To see if you have it lined up and pour.
Sometimes, I get pasta down in the sink, but mostly, this works. As for
baking things, timing is the key. Oh yeah, and I've also touched things like
my bread and cinnamon rolls when they are just out of the oven to see if
they are done. You got to be more careful here, as the pan is mighty hot,
but if you are careful and use a very light touch, you won't get burned.

Ok, so I didn't intend for this to be a cooking lesson for the blind, but,
hey, maybe some folks need it. ;P And, just FYI, the best way to eat a blind
woman's cooking, is with your eyes closed. :D

Fshew! I feel better! Thanks for letting me vent! :)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

This Oldtime Christian Speaks Out!

I know I don't blog as much as I should, and first, I want to apologize for
that, especially to those of you who follow me. But, today, I am going to
talk about something I read on the internet that bothers me, something I
never dreamed we would have to address; gender.

Now, if you are under 18, and you have been raised in a Christian home,
check with your parents before you read on, because this is an adult topic.

I was reading rules for a writing contest, a poetry contest for women, and
I'm not kidding, y'all, here's what it said, and I quote, "Individual must
be a woman; our definition of "woman" is broad and includes transsexual,
transgender, genderqueer, and female-identified individuals."

Talk about being inclusive. COME ON! Did I read that right? Now, granted,
this contest is not geared toward Christianity or anything religious that I
know of, but, from an old time Christian's point of view, which, btw this
blog is, what is this world coming too?

Of course, there are people, both men and women who, through no fault of
their own, have too much of one hormone or another. Or, a person may have a
hormone deficiency of some kind, but there are drugs and medications out
there for that, people. According to the description of "woman" why, even a
man who thinks he's a woman could participate. I mean, is this how the
gender-friendly bible reads? Please, do not answer that. I don't want to

The next point I want to make is, God is not gender free. Genesis 1:27-28,
the King James Version of the Holy Bible reads, "So God created man in his
own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he
them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and
multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it: and have dominion over the
fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing
that moveth upon the earth."

You see what that says? God created male and female and blessed them and
told them to be fruitful and multiply. He did not say, do whatever feels
good. He blessed the union of a man and a woman. Ok, so yes, let's touch on
homosexuality, why don't we.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him a help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto
Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every
living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all
cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for
Adam there was not found a help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and
closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the LORD God had
taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam
said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be
called Woman, because she was taken out of the Man. Therefore shall a man
leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:18-24 KJV

The word "meet" used here, does not mean the stuff you slap on a grill or
throw in the skillet. Nor, is it a version of the word, "mate". It means,
perfect, or something that fits. So, even after naming all those cows and
birds and things, there was not found a help that would fit, or a help that
was perfect for Adam, until God brought him the woman.

So, you free thinkers out there, you might think you were born liking people
of the same gender as yourself, but you weren't, because God created you,
and He created you to be interested in and enjoy the opposit sex.

And, in case there is some mistake, here, it's a sin to have yourself
surgically altered in order to enjoy the same sex and make it look good. You
are a man and you wanna be a woman, or are you a woman who wants to be a
man? Grow up, get over it, and seek your creator's help in doing so. God,
who btw is male, not female, will help you. He loves you; you are His
creation, after all.

Can a homosexual be a Christian?

Well, can an alcoholic be a Christian?

Can a murderer be a Christian?

Am I confusing you? Let me explain. Sin is sin. There are no big sins or
little sins. A liar is the same as a murderer, a murderer is the same as a
rapist. A person who worships a graven image, is the same as a person who
abuses children. You following me? To god, sin is sin. An alcoholic commits
sin, by destroying their lives and bodies with alcohol. A murderer commits
sin by ending another's life. A liar breaks one of the ten commandments. In
each of these, a person is going against God's will, therefore, it is sin.
When a person practices a homosexual lifestyle, they are committing sin,
because they are going against what God has ordained.

Have you ever told a lie? I have, and I remember doing it. Have you ever
killed someone? Have you ever stolen something? I have. Have you ever
coveted something that was not yours? Have you ever put something or
yourself above your relationship with God? I have. Have we sinned? Oh yes.
The important question here is, are we forgiven? We can be. Right? I have
been forgiven. I am not perfect, but saved by grace. Have you? You can be.

Jesus didn't spend most of His time with the religious leaders. He spent it
with the outcasts...the sinners. He forgave Zacheus for stealing folks'
money. He forgave Peter for denying Him. He forgave the thief on the cross.
He forgave Paul who had persecuted the church. And, I believe,that if a
person, no matter what sin he or she commits, is truly sorry...repentent of
that sin, god will forgive, be it murder, coveteousness, or homosexuality.

So, come on, you Christian soldiers, show this world your light can shine!
Stand up for what the Bible says! Preach it one more time!
Our God expects holiness, not a wishy-washy faith,
So, get your house in order! He's coming back someday!