The Blind Housewife: Morning Devotions

This morning I felt the Lord leading me to read the following Scriptures. I copied them here for you. I tried to copy and paste the King James 1611 version, but the website I found had it copied from the original text, which is not a bad thing, but I didn't think y'all would be able to read it with U's as V's and V's as U's and I's as J's and... Anyway, this is the 1769 version, which reads just like my King James. So, here's what I read when I opened up the word.

1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious.
4 To whom coming, [as unto] a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, [and] precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ

Do I feel malice toward anyone? No. What about guile? I don't think so. What about envy? Uh...well, not the evil kind. Am I a hypocrite? No, at least I try not to be. I try to be true to what I claim. I guess, though, if I do feel some envy, even if it isn't filled with hate, then I am not being as true as I thought i was.

Now, what about those spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God by Jesus Christ? Well, I desire to do more for God. I want to be a daughter He can count on. There are places I would like to go, things I would like to do in order to spread His love and message of salvation. I want to do my part to be that living stone, part of the house. But, it feels like God is closing the door on what I want to do.

Here's where I might be a bit envious. A friend of mine has her own publishing company. Now, I don't envy her; I don't want that responsibility. :) Today she is going to a book signing. A couple of months ago she went to a book signing. I'm an author. I have published two books, and yet, I'm still here at home. Two months ago my youngest was sick. Today my oldest girl has a fever and a bit of a cough. I want to promote my books. Both of them are Christian books. I am certain God gave them to me. So, what on earth does He want me to do with them? How can i promote them, if I can't go anywhere?

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm happy for Peggy Hoy and her books. Y'all can check them out at either

http://www.hoyfamily.net/

or

http://www.fhpublish.com/

Here's something else. I have a friend who is in the ICU, sitting at her husband's bedside. He's on a ventilator, and the doctors don't know why. He can't talk to his wife because of the tube down his throat, and he can't communicate via sign language, because they have restrained him. My friend is blind, so even if he points to something, she can't see it. The hospital he is in is about twenty miles from my house. I'd like to go down there, and at least give my friend a hug and let her know I care, but I can't. I don't have a driver; I don't have a babysitter...and well, it irritates me that I can't be of any help to my friend.

But, one thing I'm sure of, God knows best. My Father in heaven is telling me as clear as the day to be content to stay home and take care of my own. Sometimes, I find myself asking Him, "But, every day, Lord? Day in, day out, stay home?" His answer, I reckon is "YES!"

I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but this is getting hard, and i need y'all to pray for me. Being a full-fledged Titus 2 woman is apparently God's will for me, and I know He will give me all I need to accomplish what He wants me to. So, why am I struggling?

I'm stubborn, and that's the reason. I'm hard-headed, too. lol I'm tired, and the flesh does grow weak, sometimes. But, the Word does say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It also says, He will never leave me. Jesus tells me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. He also says His yoke is easy and His burden light.

All right, God, I give up. Your will be done, not mine. I'll stay home today. I'll care for my babies, do the laundry, clean the kitchen. I'll keep to home. :) Now, Lord, help me to do it with a cheerful attitude. As for tomorrow, well, your word says to take no thought for the morrow, so I won't.

Well, there you have it. I didn't write all that to invoke sympathy or to complain; just being as honest as I know how to be. These are thoughts and feelings anyone would have, sighted or blind. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be, live in an accessible area before you have kids. Then, when you need or want to go somewhere, it won't be so difficult. Other than that, pray, pray and pray some more. And, if you can't think of anyone to pray for, pray for me. :) Happy Friday, y'all!

I Wanna Be That Tree

Ok! Ok! Now, I know that sounded silly, but let me tell you why I say I wanna be a tree.

I was reading my Bible the other morning. I haven't read the book of Luke much in the last few years, but found myself in the 13th chapter, and I came across a parable that I don't remember reading before. Here's the parable, in modern day Shannon language. I figure you can read it for yourself, when you get the time.

So, a man owns a vineyard and in that vineyard there's this tree that hasn't been producing fruit for I think 3 years. So, the owner comes along and sees the tree not producing. He says to the worker, "Now, I've been coming here and wanting to get fruit off this tree for 3 years and it's not producing any. Just cut it down. There's no use in it being here."

The worker says, "Well, if you'll just let it alone this one more year, I'll do some work on it. I'll dig around it and put fertilizer around it. And, if it doesn't produce after I've tended to it, then we'll cut it down."

So, after reading that parable, I got to thinking about this. Maybe, God looks down from heaven one day and sees me. Maybe I'm not where I should be in my walk with Jesus, and he says to Jesus, "She's not producing any fruit. I don't see what use she is in my kingdom. Let's just get rid of her."

Then, I can hear Jesus say, "Father, let me do some work on her. Let me dig out all the bad stuff and put something around her that will help her grow."

Down on earth, after Jesus starts working on me, I am feeling bare without the ground close at my roots, and it's starting to get pretty smellyhere with all this dung around me. Now, the Lord says that fertilizer is supposed to help me, but it stinks, and I don't like it. Besides, nobody will come around me no more.

You see where I'm going with this? You know as well as I do that we must cut off the bad if we want flowers or trees to grow, but yet, we don't want God to prune us. Do we?

I remember several years ago, my husband said to me, "I'm going to get a chain saw and cut off the bad parts of that tree out there."

We have a pink dogwood in our back yard, and that year it had grown so much that it was in the power lines. I of course, thought to myself, "Oh dear, I'm not so sure about this."

Well, one day in March I came home and he had taken a chain saw to my tree, and everybody, mostly my family kept saying how awful it looked. :) But, do you know what? It bloomed so very pretty that year, and everybody was talking about it. They loved the way it looked and were shocked when I told them what he'd done.

Here's part of a little song we learned at church camp.

"He's the peach of a Savior, He's the apple of my eye. He prunes all my branches when my branches get to high. He bares fruit in season and His love will never die. So, that's why I'm bananas for the Lord."

So, I've been meditating on that parable, here lately. I've been thinking about that tree, and decided that I want God to use me, to fix me, to help me grow. And, the only way He will do that, is if I be that tree.