On a Cold, Friday Morning

My coffee has cooled so that now it is lukewarm, and to sit still any longer in this back room where there is no direct heat will only make me get colder. So, I’ll try to make this short. My internal clock thinks I only need 4 hours of sleep during the night. During the day, however, it thinks I need several hours. Even cutting WAY back on my caffeine intake, doesn’t seem to make a difference. So, I’m going on 4 hours of sleep, I’ll wind down when it’s least convenient and there isn’t anything I can do about it. If I drink more than 2 cups of caffeine in the morning, I’ll be up all night. If I drink no caffeine in the morning, I’ll be asleep when I need to be getting things done. Is there a solution? Maybe not, but I have found a way to get through it; reading God’s word. Sometimes I read my braille copy of the King James and sometimes I listen to an audio copy. The old testament is good to listen to, because the reader reads faster than I can so I get more of an understanding. However, when I want to actually study it, I have to actually read it for myself. I’ve read all of the book of Ruth, 1 and 2 Samuel and started on the first book of Kings. As for the braille reading, I’ve been in Romans here lately. Have I gained great wisdom? Not yet. :) But, I have gained some insight. One thing is certain, spending time in God’s word is never a waste of time. You ever tried to make something work and no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t work out? If not, then you’re either too young to know any better or you don’t want to admit it. We’ve all been there. We pray, we go forth with faith, we step out in to the unknown, we give it all we got...and it falls apart. Was God in it? In my case, He has been. Was it His will for it to fall apart? Yep, sure was. We’re taught by popular Christian ministers that God wants us to succeed. We are taught that if it’s His will for this or that to happen, it won’t fail. So, what do I do with something that is His will for it to fail? Well, nothing for it but to admit I was hasty, ask Him to forgive me for the wrong I’ve done and go make things right. It’s not been easy. Talk about humbling myself. But, there’s peace and freedom in humbling yourself before an almighty God, and there’s peace and freedom in realizing He will allow us to walk right in to that pit, just to show us what we’re made of. Am I a failure? No. Did I make a mistake? Yes. But, if God had not allowed me to make that mistake, I would have never known what He has known all along; it isn’t for me. So, it’s been more than 3 months since I’ve been on here, and in that time countless spammers have been trying to post comments to this blog. Annoying! A word to you spammers, “Go away and leave me alone!” As for writing, well, I’ve been doing quite of bit of that. Got about 47 thousand words on a new story. Well, it’s a story I started about this time last year, but it’s still new, and wow, it feels good to be writing again. I kind of feel like i have awakened from a long sleep. Reckon that’s what depression can do to a person. Sure don’t want to go back there, but I suppose depression is difficult to avoid after the death of a loved one. My mamaw will be gone 2 years come Feb. 20, and it wasn’t until just a few weeks ago that I realized how her death affected me. Nearly 2 years in a dee depression where I didn’t care about much of anything. Not that I don’t miss her; I do...very much. But, I’m on the backside of that hard time, and like I said, I feel like I’ve just woke up. It didn’t happen overnight, but in a way it feels like it. I was reading over some letters i wrote to her , ones I just wrote because I had no other way of expressing my pent up emotions, and I realized that while I remembered how I felt right after she died, I no longer felt the same way. I’m not sure why I’m saying this now, but maybe it will help someone out there. There is hope, so hold on, beloved. As long as Jesus lives, there is hope! And, speaking of our Lord, I came across something I think is interesting. Those who are blind and can not see what is happening on TV can now listen to the movie, “The Passion of the Christ.” It is described by a man, and the subtitles are read by a woman. I downloaded a copy and listened to it twice, and I realized that in Aramaic, the language I am told is spoken in the movie, Jesus’ name is Yeshua. In fact, those who are Messianic Jews do not say Jesus but Yeshua, instead. I’m not sure why that grabbed my attention. I believe the Lord knows we are talking to Him, whether we say Jesus or Yeshua, but if, while on earth Jesus spoke Aramaic and that was how His name was pronounced, then why are we American Christians so sure we have it right? Umm, maybe I’d better not go that direction. lol Happy Friday, y’all. Stay as warm as you can and spend time contemplating the love of our heavenly Father.

The Last Night Before...

I thought a good dinner would take my tummy ache away, but it didn’t. I haven’t had much caffeine today, so I’m hoping I won’t be too keyed up to sleep. I know I keep telling y’all how nervous and excited I am, so I’ll try to stop repeating myself, but I just can’t believe I am going to do this! My suit case is all packed, except for those few last minute things, all my laundry is caught up, for now, and there’s really nothing else to do but enjoy this last night with my family. Deed, well, I thought I would have something to say each day, but I believe I’ve already said all that needs saying. Tomorrow isn’t here, and I don’t have any guarantees that it will ever come. For some folks, tomorrow never came. Lord, help me be ready to meet you, if my tomorrow isn’t meant to come. It’s almost bedtime for my girls, and so this will be short, but I just wanted to post one last time before I leave. I’ll be packing up the mac book either later tonight or early in the morning, so this is the last you faithful readers will hear from me until I’m in Columbus. When it comes time for stuff like this, I guess all I can say is in God I trust. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, what makes me happy and what makes me sad. He knows what His plans are for me and mine, and when it’s His appointed time, He will let me know. So, pray for me, pray for yourselves, and come back soon; I’m sure when I get settled, I’ll have quite a lot to say.

Three To Go

A lot is going through my head today, so much that I won’t even try to share it all. I didn’t sleep well last night, and it has been pouring the rain, and add those two together, and you get someone who might go on emotions rather than facts. You also will get someone who can’t stop writing run-on sentences. lol Only three days to go. Wow, I’m having a hard time believing it. In less than three days, actually, I’ll be in Columbus. Whenever I stopped to think about it, I get this surge of something between excitement, nervousness and unreality. I mean, I haven’t done anything like this since before I met my husband. Of course, my man and I did pick up and move almost three hundred miles away a few years ago, but that was different; he was with me. This time, I’m packing up and heading off alone for ten days. Am I crazy? The furthest I’ve been away from home on my own was taking the bus twenty miles down town. Now, I’m about to take a bus almost two hundred miles to a different state! Am i doing the right thing? I must be, because God keeps confirming things. A little while ago, I was kind of half worrying half praying about a situation, which I had no answer for. The only answer I was getting was to just do what I could and not stress about the rest. Then, right out of the blue, my husband sends me a text with the answer. Of course, he didn’t know what was on my heart, but God did, and He used someone else to answer my prayer. I just love it when He does that. I did a little packing today and a lot of laundry. :) tomorrow I’ll do more laundry and more packing. Thursday I’ll probably do even more. Ha! There was a bit of crying around here today, too, and I expect there will be more. I guess it’s all a part of growing up for my babies, though...and for me. lol You know, I wish I could call my mamaw up on the phone and talk to her. I know I know how to pack a suit case, but I wish I had someone to talk about it with as I packed. She would listen, she would do a lot of telling me what and when to do, and all the while she would be telling me how much she loved me and thinking inside her head how she could feed my new dog without me knowing about it. :) Well, in honor of the third day before I leave, I have to put this in here. When I hear three days, my first thought is that Jesus was in the grave for three days, Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days, and the apostle Paul was blind for three days after the Lord spoke to him on the road to Damascus. So, there must be some significance about three days. Hmm, will have to study that one out. Ok, y’all, it’s almost time for the man of the house to get home from work, and I’m starving. So, until tomorrow, keep smiling and remember God loves each and every one of you.

Four Days

What comes to your mind when you hear, “Four days”? Let’s see, there’s a four day work week, something most people wish they had. There’s a four day weekend, something else most folks wish they had. :) There’s a song called “Four Days Late”, which, BTW is an awesome song. And, the only other four days i can think of is four days left until I leave to get my knew dog. Y’all knew that was coming, didn’t ya? hahaha! This morning I went to the Post Office to see if my bus ticket to Columbus was there. Sad to say, it was not. After that, I let my homeschooled girls play outside while the weather was good. Then, I brought them in and got them some lunch to munch on. After that, my aunt came and drove us down to the Hospice House to see my grandfather’s sister. She isn’t doing well, so your prayers would mean a lot. As we were leaving, a cousin of mine leaned over her bed and said “I love you, Grandma.” Made me remember my own grandma. For now, though, my cousin has the peace of knowing she left the place, her grandma still living. The last time I leaned over my mamaw and told her I loved her, was the day I left knowing she had died. See, y’all, death isn’t a graduation. Death isn’t our friend. It’s the enemy. But, death is swallowed up in victory! Oh, grave, where is thy sting? Oh, grave, where is thy victory? Jesus overcame the grave, and someday, we will, too. Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. So, my beloved brothers and sisters be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. For, as ye know, your labor is NOT in vain! Jesus is coming; ready or not, He is coming back to receive us unto Himself that where He is, there we can be. Amen? Amen! Wow, ya’ll expected a post about getting ready for guide dog school. :) I’m not sorry, though. After all, this blog is called “Old Time Christian”, and what kind of Christian would I be if I left my saviour out of it all? Why, I’d be a hypocrit, that’s what. I am starting to feel overwhelmed, though, and I haven’t even started packing. Tomorrow is my major laundry day. Gonna wash everything I can, including my shoes. I not only have my things to pack, but some stuff to pack for my kids while I’m gone. But, if I can’t think of anything to be thankful for at the moment, it’s first of all I’m alive to think, and second, I ain’t gotta do it tonight. Tonight, I’m gettin’ ready for bed! So, until next time, ZZZZZZZZZ

The Blind Housewife: Morning Devotions

This morning I felt the Lord leading me to read the following Scriptures. I copied them here for you. I tried to copy and paste the King James 1611 version, but the website I found had it copied from the original text, which is not a bad thing, but I didn't think y'all would be able to read it with U's as V's and V's as U's and I's as J's and... Anyway, this is the 1769 version, which reads just like my King James. So, here's what I read when I opened up the word.

1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious.
4 To whom coming, [as unto] a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, [and] precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ

Do I feel malice toward anyone? No. What about guile? I don't think so. What about envy? Uh...well, not the evil kind. Am I a hypocrite? No, at least I try not to be. I try to be true to what I claim. I guess, though, if I do feel some envy, even if it isn't filled with hate, then I am not being as true as I thought i was.

Now, what about those spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God by Jesus Christ? Well, I desire to do more for God. I want to be a daughter He can count on. There are places I would like to go, things I would like to do in order to spread His love and message of salvation. I want to do my part to be that living stone, part of the house. But, it feels like God is closing the door on what I want to do.

Here's where I might be a bit envious. A friend of mine has her own publishing company. Now, I don't envy her; I don't want that responsibility. :) Today she is going to a book signing. A couple of months ago she went to a book signing. I'm an author. I have published two books, and yet, I'm still here at home. Two months ago my youngest was sick. Today my oldest girl has a fever and a bit of a cough. I want to promote my books. Both of them are Christian books. I am certain God gave them to me. So, what on earth does He want me to do with them? How can i promote them, if I can't go anywhere?

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm happy for Peggy Hoy and her books. Y'all can check them out at either

http://www.hoyfamily.net/

or

http://www.fhpublish.com/

Here's something else. I have a friend who is in the ICU, sitting at her husband's bedside. He's on a ventilator, and the doctors don't know why. He can't talk to his wife because of the tube down his throat, and he can't communicate via sign language, because they have restrained him. My friend is blind, so even if he points to something, she can't see it. The hospital he is in is about twenty miles from my house. I'd like to go down there, and at least give my friend a hug and let her know I care, but I can't. I don't have a driver; I don't have a babysitter...and well, it irritates me that I can't be of any help to my friend.

But, one thing I'm sure of, God knows best. My Father in heaven is telling me as clear as the day to be content to stay home and take care of my own. Sometimes, I find myself asking Him, "But, every day, Lord? Day in, day out, stay home?" His answer, I reckon is "YES!"

I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but this is getting hard, and i need y'all to pray for me. Being a full-fledged Titus 2 woman is apparently God's will for me, and I know He will give me all I need to accomplish what He wants me to. So, why am I struggling?

I'm stubborn, and that's the reason. I'm hard-headed, too. lol I'm tired, and the flesh does grow weak, sometimes. But, the Word does say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It also says, He will never leave me. Jesus tells me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. He also says His yoke is easy and His burden light.

All right, God, I give up. Your will be done, not mine. I'll stay home today. I'll care for my babies, do the laundry, clean the kitchen. I'll keep to home. :) Now, Lord, help me to do it with a cheerful attitude. As for tomorrow, well, your word says to take no thought for the morrow, so I won't.

Well, there you have it. I didn't write all that to invoke sympathy or to complain; just being as honest as I know how to be. These are thoughts and feelings anyone would have, sighted or blind. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be, live in an accessible area before you have kids. Then, when you need or want to go somewhere, it won't be so difficult. Other than that, pray, pray and pray some more. And, if you can't think of anyone to pray for, pray for me. :) Happy Friday, y'all!

The Blind Housewife: On Cleaning, Laundry and Occupying Children

There was something gross on the bottom of my bath tub. I don't know what it was, but I was bound and determined to get rid of it. I sprayed the tub with Clorox Clean Up, let it set for a few minutes and took a wet washcloth and wiped it up. Um...yeah, well, that didn't work. So, I put some Soft Scrub with bleach on it. I rubbed it in, waited a few minutes and wiped again. Still no change. I went looking for a scrub brush, but aliens must have sneaked in and stolen it, because I couldn't find one anywhere. Then, I remembered that scrubby thing that I had scrubbed my pizza pans with. It needed thrown away, anyhow; I'd just use it. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Right? Not the soap pad thingies. No, the thing that feels like a net...sort of? Anyway, I put more Soft Scrub on the crud and went to scrubbing. I scrubbed and scrubbed. I scrubbed with the right hand, and then I scrubbed with the left. I had music playing on the iPod feature on my iPhone, and on my knees by the tub I scrubbed and scrubbed. After several minutes, I started to notice a difference. The scrubbing was working, but it was sure taking some muscle.

About halfway finished, I suddenly wondered what it would be like if God had to scrub like I was scrubbing in order to clean the sin out of us. Hmm. A thought. No? I reckon sometimes, God allows us to be scrubbed, but when it comes to asking Him for forgiveness from sin, He just takes it away, no scrubbing required. With one word, He can wipe the slate clean. He does this, too, when we come to Him with a repentant heart and a contrite spirit. Aren't you glad? I know I am! As for the tub scrubbing, I think I got it all cleaned up. :)

So, how did I keep the girls from bugging me while I attended to the bath tub? Easy. They love playing with those little ducks and things. Well, I told them to clean the ducks and mermaids while I cleaned the tub. I had just finished washing a few dishes, so the dish water was still warm and sudsy. I gave them the tub toys, a chair and a couple of rags and told them to clean them up. They did, and when they were done, the 6-year-old took a towel and wiped up the water on the counter. How cool was that?

I think today breaks a record. I told the girls they could have an ice cream cone after we put all the clean laundry away. I never knew a basket of clothes could get put away so quickly. lol But, my 6-year-old stepped in and helped me put the clothes away, and it was finished in less than 5 minutes. No kidding. :)

Now that my cleaning spree is over for now, I sure could use some good lotion. My hands are itching and dry. I also need someone with a knowledge of pinning up pant legs straight. Haha, my jeans are too long. I had to roll them up a bit. Looks silly, probably, but at least I'm clothed and in my right mind. ;)

It's rather cool and rainy, making me want to fix another cup of coffee. That stuff sure does go fast when a person likes it. :)

Ok, so since you sighted folks are wondering how I managed today, the tub scrubbing was all by feel. I should have used gloves, what with all that bleach and such, but if I had worn them, I wouldn't have been able to feel whether the tub was clean or not. If I can't feel it, then I can't do it independently. So, get over being messy, and get your hands in there...if you're blind,that is. Ha! As for dishes, it's the same; I know they are clean by the way they feel. As for the washer and drier, I memorize which buttons are what and too bad for me if I forget. Wait, that's not true; the 6-year-old has learned to read and helps when I ask. As for matching clothes, my children help me with their's. I know mine by the way they feel. Using my sense of touch, I know when I have grabbed a pair of my pants and when it's the hubby's I'm holding. :) He's shaped different than I am, ye know. Now, as for buying ice cream from the Schwan's man, well, I used my sense of touch to know which credit card I grabbed, my sense of touch, again, to know what foods I was putting away, and when it came to enjoying that ice cream, I used my sense of taste. lol I had my first grader to read package directions for one of the items i bought, and memorized them so I won't have to ask again.

Did y'all git all that? Ha! Well, if you didn't, feel free to drop me a comment and ask away. Until then, my sense of tired tells me it's time to git off here, so I'll catch y'all next time.

How Do You Do It?

Yesterday evening, my dentist asked, "So, how do you cook...the big stuff, I mean? How do you do it?"

A few days ago, a new friend asked, "So, what is it like being a parent who is blind?"

I started thinking about these questions and realized that many people are just too shy to ask them. Yet, they really want to know. They don't want to know what some people do; they don't want to know what studies show. They want to know what I do, because once they know that, they can modify to fit their own needs and wants. It's like cooking. Give me the recipe. Then, I can modify it to meet my needs and skill level. Of course, some folks never stray from the recipe, but that's their own fault and a subject for another post.

I could tell you cooking without sight is hard, fun, exciting, scary, and anything in between, but it doesn't answer your question. I could say being a mother who is blind is wonderful, terrible, exciting, scary, mind boggling and joyful all wrapped up in to one, but, again, that does not answer your questions. So, I am thinking of starting a series or two here on the blog to address how I manage things. I don't know what order the articles will be in, but I think I'll separate the two main questions folks have in to two series: one for cooking and the other for parenting.

If you have specific questions, feel free to comment either on here or on Facebook and ask them. If you want to email me privately, the email addy is
ShannonNicoleWells@suddenlink.net

I'll try to address one issue a week for both subjects. Just y'all keep in mind, what I do works for me and might not work for you.

How do I drain a pot of boiling macaroni without scalding myself?
How do I fry hamburger without setting the house on fire?
How do I know when my bread/cookies are done?
How do I change a dirty diaper without wearing the mess?
How did I nurse my babies?
Which was easier, breast feeding or bottle feeding?
How did i know if my babies were sick?
How did I administer meds when they needed them?
How did I bathe my babies?
How did I manage to keep the babies clothes all matched up?
How did I feed the babies baby food?
Do I always know what my children are in to? Do you? Haha!

I'll be the first to admit, some of these questions do not have an answer. I am not perfect, and neither am I an expert. But, I'll do my best to answer these questions and more.

If you are a new parent who is blind or thinking of starting a family, then, honestly, my best advice is trust in God. Take time to put Him in the center of it all. Because, y'all, sometimes the answer is God. I'm not kidding, and I'm not being flippant. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason why something is a certain way, and only thing I know is God did it or God told me so.

The Bible says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It also says that the things we see are temporal, and the things which are not seen are eternal. So, embrace the fact you can't see it, and let God be your pilot.

Hope to hear from y'all soon!