The Home Coming

In some ways, having a new guide dog is rather like having a new baby in the house. It isn’t the same, of course, but feeling as if there is not enough of me to spread around is the same. Monday evening and Tuesday morning were like that. I felt a bit frustrated, because the girls needed their mama, I needed the girls, things needed doing and my dog needed me, too. On Saturday we did go to Walmart, and my girl did great. If she stopped to sniff the veggies, she did it rather sneakily, so I never knew. There was this old lady who asked to pet our dogs and did actually pet them, but as it turns out, that old lady was just our trainer in disguise. Hahaha! On Sunday our trainer took us outside to do obedience with our dogs, as he had done before, and then a fellow student and I took our dogs out to the Alumni Park to walk around and enjoy the awesome weather. Just as a side note, the Alumni Park at Pilot Dogs is just that, a park created by the Alumni of the school. There are bricks and pavers out there, memorializing folks and dogs alike. There are obstacles to go around, benches to sit on, and it’s very peaceful and quiet and private. Anyway, Sunday afternoon, our trainer took me and another student on a walk around town. It was only a few blocks, but I guess my body knew it was supposed to be a day of rest, because just those few blocks wore me out. lol That night, after dark, our trainer took me and yet another student on a night walk. The difference between a walk during the day and one at night was something I didn’t notice, but my girl can see, so I’m sure it was different for her. But, she lead just as well in the dark as she did in the light, so no troubles there. Monday morning I finished packing my bags, fed my pup, brushed her real good and left at 8:30 for home. We got here around noon, so the man who brought me walked with me and my girl around my home town. Then, he took me to McDonalds for lunch. He took us to the Vet to get my girl her rabies shot and then brought us back home. My girls showed up a few minutes later, and oh it was so good to hold them and kiss them. The hubby brought pizza home for dinner, and it was kind of like a balancing act, when I started to get everyone ready for bed. But, surprisingly we were all in bed by 9. Yesterday, Tuesday, the man who brought me home took my pup and me to Walmart to do some work. Again, she did very well. Then, he brought me home to do more work around my home town. I learned how to get to the town hall and a better way to get to the clinic. By the time he left, I was ready for a nap. lol I took one, too, after my kids and I ate lunch. Last night all 5 of us went to Cracker Barrel for dinner, and it went fine, except my doggie didn’t want to go inside. It was weird, and we can’t figure out why, but when we approached the doors, she hesitated to go in. I encouraged her, but she wouldn’t move. I corrected her, as I was taught to do, but instead of moving forward, she turned completely around. The only thing we can come up with was she was looking for my girls, but we’re not sure. I had my husband and daughters to go in front of me and followed them in, and it seemed to work. But, I’ll bet that nice man who held the door for us went home and told his wife, “I saw this lady and her guide dog at Cracker Barrel, and that dog acted real funny when that lady tried to go inside.” lol Nothing to be done about it though, except work on obedience and try again another day. So, now things are starting to settle down here at home. I have a crate for my pup to sleep in, she is quieting down after the excitement of traveling, and the only thing left to do is find out where in the world I’m going to store her food. Right now, it’s in front of my washer and drier, but it can’t stay there, because there’s a mountain of laundry that I have to do today. Before the man left yesterday to go back to Columbus, one of the things he said to me was, “Walk around this town three times a day, and you’ll be fine.” Reckon he never had piles of laundry, a house to clean, girls to homeschool and dishes to do. lol Walking 12 blocks a day is great and beneficial, but it’s easier done when someone else does the cooking and cleaning. At guide dog school, coffee was ready whenever I wanted it, meals were prepared for me, the floors were cleaned for me, too. All I had to do was walk around, make my bed and care for my dog. Now, I have kids and a house to care for as well as the dog, and somewhere in there, I have a husband I’d like to spend time with. Fshew! Did I bite off more than i can chew?

Walks To Remember

Some of the routes we walk here at Pilot Dogs are very similar. Some have rough sidewalks, some have smoother ones. Some include street crossings with traffic lights and sometimes we cross streets with stop signs. Sometimes we go alone with a trainer, and other times we go with a second person or in a group. Sometimes the walks are uneventful and begin to run together in my mind. But, on Thursday and Friday such was not to be. Thursday morning was rainy, so the trainers set up an obstacle coarse in one of the hallways. We held our dogs’ harness handles and told them forward. The dogs were to lead us through that obstacle coarse and keep us from running in to whatever was there. Our jobs were to follow where the dog lead and pay attention to the signals coming from the harnesses. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my pup and I did it perfectly both times. In the afternoon, the rain seemed to have moved out, so my trainer said to get ready; we were taking the bus down town. I made sure there was a small plastic bag in my pocket in case my girl had an accident and headed with my trainer out the front door. We walked to the bus stop and sat down on a bench to wait. So far, so good. The bus came, and I told the driver where I wanted to get off at. And, in case you are wondering, my trainer told me what to say, because I don’t know down town Columbus. lol Anyway, while riding the bus, my trainer showed me how to turn my leash in to a muzzle. Poor puppy, I thought she felt shamed in front of everyone, but thankfully our stop came then, and I got to take the muzzle off. With buses going to and fro, people passing and talking, traffic heading here and there, sirenes blaring all over the place it was not what you’d call a peaceful walk. We crossed busy streets, wound our way through over a hundred people out on the sidewalks, and were doing well until... All of a sudden, my dog starts acting funny. She kept pulling me to the right and then the left. She was nervous and quivery, and I couldn’t figure out what the deal was. Then, right there in the middle of that crowd of over a hundred, she hunkered down and laid a nice, big, smelly pile on to the sidewalk. Remembering the days from my first dog, I quickly placed my foot near her butt, reached in my pocket for a baggie, and when she stood up, used the baggie like a glove and picked it up. I gave my doggie’s present to my trainer who through it away for me. Then, I wiped the perspiration from my face and began walking again. “We’re coming up on Broad Street,” my trainer said a minute or 2 later. “That’s the one that has 6 lanes. Right?” “Yep,” he said, “but you can do it.” “You hope,” I thought, praying silently to myself. Standing at Broad Street, which btw is a broad street, it began to rain. It was a light rain, but it was rain all the same. I waited, listening to the traffic in front of me and to my left. When I felt it was safe, I told my dog forward and we headed out. Six lanes later, we made it to the otherside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was going to live to tell the tale. We went in to a CVS, where my girl tried to take me to the prescription counter and ran me in to a case of something that thankfully did not tip over. When we came out of there, we went to another curb and waited for the light to change. I was about to go, when I heard a fire truck and another sirene which was probably an ambulance. So, I waited. They past right by us, and my poor little girl shook her head a couple of times. You know it had to be hurting her ears, but she never showed anymore signs of distress. When the sirenes were gone, we crossed and boarded another bus. By this time, the rain was coming down a bit heavier, and I was glad for the driness of the bus. I was dropped off about 3 streets away from Pilot dogs and had to walk down some broken sidewalks in order to get back. This was a route I had done before, so it was not hard, but about 2 blocks from the school, the rain came pouring down. Then, just as I was crossing the last street, I stepped in a big mud puddle and got both feet wet. My girl stopped in the middle of the street to shake, and I almost fell. Fshew! Was I glad to get back all in one piece! On Friday morning we had a test. We were given a set of directions and were expected to follow them and come back to the school. I did well. The route was about 6 blocks, and the trainer even said what a good job I was doing. When I got back, a trainer asked if I wanted to take another walk. Of course, I said yes, and he paired me with another student. This student uses a walking cane for balance, as well as a dog to lead him, so how could I say no, when my challenges are not as many as his? Our walk was good, but similar to the test that morning. After lunch, another trainer asked if my partner and I wanted to go to a convenience store. Again, we said yes. Some of the worst crossings are up that way, but we did it. The store is about 7 blocks away, which means to go there and back, we walked about 14 blocks. I bought some doughnuts while there, and my pup only sniffed a little. :) We got back, and I was thinking that my legs were aching from all that walking, when the director of Pilot Dogs asked if I’d do some walking in the park outside, because there was a film crew wanting some background footage. Well, y’all, of course I didn’t say no. Ha! So, for about 20 minutes, another student and I walked back and forth through the school’s alumni park. Then and only then was my walking over for the day. Walks to remember? You betcha! This afternoon, I’m told we’re going to WalMart, so it should be interesting. The entire class is going as a group, so I’m looking for a good time. I think we’re allowed to buy some stuff for our dogs, so we’ll see. It should be another memorable trip. Wow, 2 more days until I go home. I’m excited, and nervous, too. Missing my family a whole lot, but i’ve met some wonderful folks up here, and I’m going to miss them, as well. Well, it’s about 30 minutes before lunch and I’d like to post this if I can. So, until next time, keep on keeping on. :)

Learning to Wait

No nuggets of wisdom are coming to me this morning. :) Yesterday was busy, and today isn’t much different. But, I’ve set aside some time to write. Now that I brought the mac book in to the computer room, plugged it in, and got everything settled, I dont’ know what to say. Yesterday, I went on a 45 minute walk. My pup and I did pretty well except for vearing a couple of times. She did walk right past a cat without even blinking, though. lol In the afternoon we worked a couple of street crossings with traffic lights. I was nervous, I don’t mind telling you. There was the normal traffic in front of me, the parallel traffic beside and there was a highway above my head with traffic zooming back and forth. Talk about hard to hear. But, we did just fine. You know, I sure am glad I can pray for folks whenever and wherever I am. I’m also glad I can pray for myself while I’m out walking unfamiliar routes with my dog. Yesterday while out on a street corner, a Bible verse came to mind. I do not have time to look it up, so I’ll try and quote it as best I can. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenghth. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” I might fail a test. I might answer a question wrong. I might even step out in to the street at the wrong time, but if I wait on the Lord and trust Him, I will never be a failure. Repeating this to myself on a minute by minute basis is how I get through those hair-raising trips around here. Y’all think I’m kidding, but I’m dead serious. Some folks in class walk faster that I. Some handle their dogs better. But, in the end, that doesn’t matter. What matters is mine and my dog’s safety. What matters is whether I trust my Lord. So, like the song says, “Teach me, Lord, oh teach me Lord, how to wait.”

Well, I Made It!

Four and a half hours on a Gray Hound bus isn’t the funnest thing I’ve ever done, but it sure isn’t the worst, either. The drivers were very helpful, and I made it to Columbus in one piece. But, I’m glad I’m riding in a car on the way home. One of the first things I did when I got here was take a juno walk. A juno walk is when a trainer holds one end of a harness and the student holds the handle and allows the trainer to lead the student, simulating how it would be if a dog was leading the person who is blind. My trainer and I walked around outside, going across streets, down sidewalks and around trees and broken concrete. Trainers do a juno walk in order to determine what type of dog is best for the person. Just as people walk differently, dogs walk and lead different. When we finished with that, I got settled in my room. I unpacked my suit case and put things away. I have a room mate, so we chatted a bit, as well. I called home to make sure my girls were all right. They were, and I felt even better. We had dinner at 5 and a lecture after that. Between dinner and the lecture, my trainer showed me around the facility. After the lecture, I called home again. The babies were missing me, and I think the hubby was, too. :) I sang to them, blew kisses over the phone and told them just how much I love them. But, the call was shorter than I wanted it to be. Around 8:30 or 9 my trainer asked me to go to my room and wait. I waited, but I was so nervous I couldn’t hardly sit still. Several minutes later, here he came with a new dog. She is a black Engllish lab, and she is a sweetie. She wasn’t too interested in me at first, but after she had time to sniff the entire room and check out the place, she came right to me. I guess she wanted to secure the place before she said hello. :) We stayed in the room alone for a little while, getting to know each other, and then I gave her a bath. The trainer helped me, and I was glad for the help. It had been six years, after all since I had a dog. I didn’t get too wet, though, and she got clean, so I reckon it was a win win situation. I didn’t get to bed until 11:30 that evening, and when I did lay down I spent some time chatting with my roomy before I slept. But, being me, I only slept until 4. I waited to get up at 5, got my shower and took my pup out to pee. All in all, my first day and first night here went very well. Yesterday was spent walking with my new dog outside and listening to more instruction. There was some down time, but I really enjoyed talking with the other students. I like learning about others and where they came from. Their stories are always interesting, and sometimes learning about others’ difficulties, helps me remember just how blessed I am. I slept better last night, and today looks like another good day. I’m missing my husband and girls, but i know they are fine. They will be going to our church’s home coming service today, and I wish my pup and I were there to go with them. But, in another way, I’m glad my girl and I have time to bond before the craziness of home. My pup doesn’t know me very well, yet, and I don’t know her. The more time we spend together, the more we will learn each other. I think it’s a good match. Y’all know i went to another school to get my first dog. Well, this school is different, but I like the smallness of the class. I like the home-like atmosphere of the place. No one’s in a hurry, no one expects me to go beyond what I can do, and yet I am still being challenged. I’d like some coffee before breakfast, so I’d better hurry and finish this. I don’t know how often I will blog, but I will as often as possible. So, until next time, keep on keeping on.

The Last Night Before...

I thought a good dinner would take my tummy ache away, but it didn’t. I haven’t had much caffeine today, so I’m hoping I won’t be too keyed up to sleep. I know I keep telling y’all how nervous and excited I am, so I’ll try to stop repeating myself, but I just can’t believe I am going to do this! My suit case is all packed, except for those few last minute things, all my laundry is caught up, for now, and there’s really nothing else to do but enjoy this last night with my family. Deed, well, I thought I would have something to say each day, but I believe I’ve already said all that needs saying. Tomorrow isn’t here, and I don’t have any guarantees that it will ever come. For some folks, tomorrow never came. Lord, help me be ready to meet you, if my tomorrow isn’t meant to come. It’s almost bedtime for my girls, and so this will be short, but I just wanted to post one last time before I leave. I’ll be packing up the mac book either later tonight or early in the morning, so this is the last you faithful readers will hear from me until I’m in Columbus. When it comes time for stuff like this, I guess all I can say is in God I trust. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, what makes me happy and what makes me sad. He knows what His plans are for me and mine, and when it’s His appointed time, He will let me know. So, pray for me, pray for yourselves, and come back soon; I’m sure when I get settled, I’ll have quite a lot to say.

Just Two More Days

There’s a suit case in my living room floor with my clothes in it. It doesn’t have all my things, but it’s real close. After one more load of laundry, I think I will only have the last minute stuff to pack, like toothbursh and meds and such. I did manage last night to buy buttons and sewed them on to my sweater this morning. I crocheted the button holes and edging, tried it on and now it’s packed with all my other things. The sweater met my mommy’s approval, so I’m feeling good about it. :) My girls and I had a special science lesson today. We baked coco puff muffins. It was a mix from a box, something I don’t normally do, and I was surprised at how much simpler it was not baking from scratch. lol But, my second grader got to crack an egg and help measure out ingredients and both girls got to stir the batter. I think they tasted it, too, but I never saw a thing. ;) The muffins were surprisingly pretty good, but I didn’t like the candy things inside the batter. But, my babies and I were together, we had fun, they turned out good, and that’s all that matters. So many thoughts and emotions are running around inside my head, I don’t even know how I’m feeling. Excited about getting a new dog, nervous at going to a place I’ve never been, anxiety over whether I remembered to pack everything, sadness over leaving my husband and girls, sorrow that my great aunt is dying, and some grief because my great aunt's condition reminds me of my mamaw. I won’t be here to attend the services for my papaw’s sister, and that is bothering me, too. On top of all that, my littlest one is getting a cold. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, and neither does death. Plans are made, and we just have to keep going. Things happen, and we just have to trust in God that He will bring us through and give us strength to face what comes our way. I’m reminded of a song. “I have a source of strength when I am weak, that helps me through when life is pressing me. I have a source of power from above. I’m covered over by a shield of love. I claim the blood Jesus shed on calvary. Those precious blood stains were made there just for me. Through all my sin, my sickness and my pain, when I need healing, I just claim those precious blood stains.” Here’s the part i like. “I do not know how others make it through, who never go to calvary as I do. For there’s a healing, cleansing stream still floes with peace that only His redeemed can know.” God bless you all, and if you can’t think of anyone to pray for, and you’re tired of praying for me, remember those in the nursing homes and hospitals, tonight. Be glad, if you aren’t in one, that you aren’t.

Three To Go

A lot is going through my head today, so much that I won’t even try to share it all. I didn’t sleep well last night, and it has been pouring the rain, and add those two together, and you get someone who might go on emotions rather than facts. You also will get someone who can’t stop writing run-on sentences. lol Only three days to go. Wow, I’m having a hard time believing it. In less than three days, actually, I’ll be in Columbus. Whenever I stopped to think about it, I get this surge of something between excitement, nervousness and unreality. I mean, I haven’t done anything like this since before I met my husband. Of course, my man and I did pick up and move almost three hundred miles away a few years ago, but that was different; he was with me. This time, I’m packing up and heading off alone for ten days. Am I crazy? The furthest I’ve been away from home on my own was taking the bus twenty miles down town. Now, I’m about to take a bus almost two hundred miles to a different state! Am i doing the right thing? I must be, because God keeps confirming things. A little while ago, I was kind of half worrying half praying about a situation, which I had no answer for. The only answer I was getting was to just do what I could and not stress about the rest. Then, right out of the blue, my husband sends me a text with the answer. Of course, he didn’t know what was on my heart, but God did, and He used someone else to answer my prayer. I just love it when He does that. I did a little packing today and a lot of laundry. :) tomorrow I’ll do more laundry and more packing. Thursday I’ll probably do even more. Ha! There was a bit of crying around here today, too, and I expect there will be more. I guess it’s all a part of growing up for my babies, though...and for me. lol You know, I wish I could call my mamaw up on the phone and talk to her. I know I know how to pack a suit case, but I wish I had someone to talk about it with as I packed. She would listen, she would do a lot of telling me what and when to do, and all the while she would be telling me how much she loved me and thinking inside her head how she could feed my new dog without me knowing about it. :) Well, in honor of the third day before I leave, I have to put this in here. When I hear three days, my first thought is that Jesus was in the grave for three days, Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days, and the apostle Paul was blind for three days after the Lord spoke to him on the road to Damascus. So, there must be some significance about three days. Hmm, will have to study that one out. Ok, y’all, it’s almost time for the man of the house to get home from work, and I’m starving. So, until tomorrow, keep smiling and remember God loves each and every one of you.

Five Days Left

I have a warning for all you faithful readers out there. I might not keep on topic today. Yeah, yeah, I know that surprises you, but it’s just how I am. Ha! I’ve always heard the best place to start is the beginning, so the first thing on my mind is intentions. We can have good intentions, but until we do something about them, they are as useless as an air conditioner in winter. I intended to buy buttons for my new sweater at WalMart today, but I never made it to WalMart. Intended on picking up my meds at WalMart’s pharmacy, but I nev...oh yeah, done said that. I didn’t make it to WalMart because we stayed at my in-law’s longer than I thought we would. We might have left earlier, but I didn’t know what time the pharmacy closed. I could have called to check, but I forgot the phone number. So, I guess the moral of this story is, be better prepared. Sunday School was pretty cool this morning, if I do say so myself. I got to teach a class. Thankfully, it had not been long since I studied a few lessons and could pull one out of my hat. I had two students, both boys. One was in the fifth grade and the other was in the eighth. Both did a lot of talking about football. Y’all know how much I know about football? Well, let’s just say I no nothing and keep it at that. lol I told the guys I grew up with three sisters and only had girls in my house, and the younger boy said, “Well, you could adopt a boy.” lol We sang a song during our class time, and after I mentioned this to the church during morning worship, without much prodding my fifth grader got up and came to the front, crutches and all just to sing with me. Kind of made me feel special. It doesn’t seem real that in less than a week I’ll be paired with a new dog. Sometimes, I want my new dog to look like my first one and act like him, too. Other times, I pray they give me a dog that looks and acts nothing like him. Kind of glad the decision is out of my hands. I’ve been told by those who have been to Pilot Dogs that one of the first things a student is required to do is bathe their dog. I gotta admit here, folks that my first reaction was one of horror. I mean, give a dog a bath? Before I got my first guide dog, I was terrified of dogs and knew practically nothing about them. Not a bit sorry I chose a school back then that did not ask that of me. But, having had a dog before, the whole idea isn’t so bad. I hope I’m allowed to put on a big apron or something, cause if the new dog is anything like George was, I’m gonna git wet! Something else on the brain today is trash cans. Yep, I have a trashy mind. Hahaha! One thing to keep in mind if you are new to dogs in the house is that they like to investigate what’s in your trash, so a can with a lid, IMHO is a must. planning to get some before I leave, but if I forget or don’t get around to it, hoping my hubby will get them for me. And, yes I said “them”. I’m needing one for inside and the other for outside to put my doggies presents in. Knowing how to clean up after your doggie is another must, in my book, and that crap has to go somewhere. A can with a good lid is a good idea. And, while I’m talking about containers, I also need to figure out how and where I’m going to store my pup’s grub. I used to put George’s dog food in a plastic container and store it in the laundry room. But, in the last six years, I’ve stored other things in that laundry room, and a container will no longer fit. And, when I do figure out where to put the dog food, the next thing will be to figure out where to keep the dog’s water and food bowls so that they are out of the general path. If you haven’t been able to pick up on it, yet, I live in a very small house, so where to put things is becoming a challenge. But, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Wow, less than five days! Excitement, nervousness, sadness at leaving my babies, but thanks be to God, there is no fear. TV with my man, a good tasting bottle of Cocacola, and another wonderful Sunday behind me. Sounds like I’m blessed, doesn’t it? I am, praise the Lord. And to you, faithful reader, thank you for reading. May God bless you by revealing Himself to you in a new and awesome way. Until tomorrow, keep prayin’, keep praisin’ and remember I’m prayin’ fer ye, too.

Six Days and Counting

Saturdays are usually lazy days for the man of the house. As for me, most of the time on Saturdays you can find me at the kitchen sink with my hands deep in hot, sudsy water, loading and unloading the washing machine or putting away clean laundry. But, somehow I managed to get the laundry done before this Saturday, and there are not enough dishes for me to wash...yet. lol It’s nearly time for dinner, so fear not; I’ll have a sink full to wash before bedtime. This first day of the weekend has been a bit different. First of all, unless you missed the title, it is the sixth day before I leave for Pilot Dogs in Columbus Ohio to get my new guide dog. I’ve been awake since three AM thinking about dogs. What breedd of dog will I get? A stately German Shepherd named Phoebe? A little black lab named Izzy? A laid-back golden retriever named Porter? A happy yellow lab named Daisy? No way of knowing. :) Will I get him or her on Friday evening, or will I have to wait until the next day? Here are a few things I do know for sure. It will be a dog. lol 2. He or she will know how to guide a blind person. 3. Pilot Dogs, from what I’ve been told, crate their dogs at night, so my dog will be used to this. 4. The dog will already have a name before I get there. 5. The dog, no matter how much he or she loves me will take a few days to get used to the fact that I am his or her new person and not the trainer. 6. This dog will have me figured out in a matter of minutes; I will not be able to fool him or her about anything. 7. Whereas The Seeing Eye breeds all their dogs, Pilot does not. They receive most of their dogs from other breeders. Looks like I know a lot, doesn’t it? hahaha! Well, to even things out, here’s some things I do not know. As I have said before, I don’t know what breed or gender my dog is. 2. I do not know what Pilot’s facility looks like, but I do know I can navigate it, dog or not because I have been taught Orientation and Mobility. 3. I don’t know any of the staff personally, but so far from the conversations we have had over the phone, I feel confident that they are ready to help make this experience the best it can be. 4. I don’t know whether I’ll get my dog the Friday evening I arrive or the next morning. 5. I don’t know what taking the Grayhound bus to Columbus is like. 6. I don’t know whether I will crate my dog once I get home or not. Depends on whether I feel it is necessary and depends on if I have the money to buy a crate. 7. Finally, I don’t know how different this new dog will be, but I know he or she will not be like my first one. These are just a few of the things running through my head today. I googled dog crates, and unless I get me some dough, soon, I won’t be crating. But, then again, I might change my mind. Since I don’t know what kind of dog is waiting for me up there, I googled a few of the breeds that Pilot trains. In case you are interested, Animal Planet does a series on different breeds, and you can find them on YouTube. I learned a lot, actually. The breeds I researched were as follows: golden retriever, german shepherd, labrador, and standard poodle. I already told the folks up there I did not want a boxer or a doberman, so I did not research those breeds. I’m actually hoping I don’t get a poodle, simply because of their high maintenance, but if the trainer says a standard poodle is perfect for me, I’ll give that dog a chance. One thing I do want to say about Pilot Dogs. I do like the fact, I can apply online. I get so tired of asking a sighted person to fill out printed forms, so it was nice, for a change to just do it myself. After filling out the online form, Pilot did send some print papers. One I needed to sign to prove what I put on the internet was true. The others were for doctors to fill out, and I’m sure glad they were sighted and able to fill them out. lol But, I’ve yapped the entire time about my new dog and Pilot. Never did tell y’all why this day was different. :) So, this morning my girls and I went to the park here in town. My 7-year-old can’t seem to figure out how to swing. hahaha, so I took some time teaching her...again. lol We had fun. A little, black and white dog came to visit us while we were there. He never barked or even came near enough to touch. He just sat near my 4-year-old while she was on the swings. He yawned and scratched an itch, my daughter said, and when we left, he followed us. Sometimes, he walked in front of my girls who were in front of me, which meant my girls got caned accidentally, but we finally got things smoothed out. The dog didn’t try to follow us in the Post Office, which would have been funny. Instead, he waited and followed us almost all the way home. He left us at our back gate. :) We came in and opened our packages that we got in the mail, and then ate some lunch. Knowing I needed to take some soap and lotion to Pilot, I decided a few days ago to order some stuff from Clean Logic. You can google that, too, if you like. They put braille on their bottles, so folks who are blind will know which bottle is which. Nothing like getting your body wash mixed up with your lotion. lol My Clean Logic came in today’s mail, and so far I’m well pleased with it. Don’t have to ask a sighted person what is what, and that’s the best part. One more thing on my mind today. I am almost finished with the sweater I am crocheting for myself. It’s a fall or springtime sweater, made of yarn that is part cotton and part bamboo from rayon...or is that rayon from bamboo? Ha! I don’t know. Anyway, it’s wonderfully soft, lightweight, yet heavy enough to keep me warm. I made it a little dressy, but not fancy. I think it will look good with my jeans, and I plan to take it to Pilot. Now, all I need is some prayer warriors to believe with me that I’ll get a dog that does NOT like to chew on cotton things. lol Well, reckon that’s all that is on my mind this sixth day before I leave. Y’all keep praying for us and keep reading. You faithful readers keep my spirits up more often than you know. God bless.

Seven days until...

T minus seven days, and my heart is already breaking. I never dreamed I would feel this guilty. The other day when I told my seven-year-old I would leave in ten days, she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed, “I don’t want you to go!” Right then I was ready to call the whole thing off. How could I leave my babies? I tried explaining to my girls that even though this is a hard thing for all of us, we have to be brave and trust that God has a plan. Of course, that’s easier said than done, especially when you are only seven. What my children do not know is what having a guide dog will mean to their mom. What my girls do not understand is that me being gone for ten days is nothing compared to what other kids go through all the time. A friend of mine won’t see her children for seven months. Reading that on face book really got to me. I mean, seven months! I can’t even imagine it! But, God has a job for everyone, and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. But, I digress. Most of y’all probably think I’m making a bigger deal out of it all than necessary. After all, parents leave their kids all the time. Well, not this parent. Quite possibly I could count on both hands the amount of nights I have spent away from my girls. They have spent a few nights with their aunts and grandparents over Christmases, and I had to go in the hospital a couple of times last year. My four-year-old still remembers fearing her mommy would never come home. Y’all, that tears me up! There is a reason for all this madness, though. If there wasn’t, I would not even dream of putting my family through such a trying time. Somewhere, deep in my heart I believe that having a guide dog will be of more help to me in the long run than anything else so far. My husband has enough to do without needing to worry about me, and I’m tired of feeling as if I’m being treated like one of the kids. Maybe, I dream too big, but I’m thinking of shopping trips with just my girls, me and my new dog. Also, once we’re settled back home, I’m thinking that having an animal in the house will help my girls learn not only to care for a dog but how to play with one as well. I’m thinking that a guide dog, as happened with me and my first guide will help us come out of our shells and meet more people. I’m thinking that dog will learn to love my girls and keep an eye out for them when I can’t. So, my suitcase is sitting in the living room waiting to be filled. Yesterday I cleaned out a corner in my bed room for the new dog to sleep in. I went through some old shoes and found an extra pair to take with me. I went through my clothes and have already decided on what to pack. I’m almost ready...almost. Last night my husband said, “You won’t be here for my birthday.” He didn’t sound whiny or anything, but again I felt guilty. The longest he and i have ever been apart was when he went to Disney World for business back in 2004. He was gone three or four days. I’m going to miss him, and he’s going to have a rougher time without someone seeing to all the little things. Hoping to ease everyone’s stress, this girl plans to do up as much laundry as possible. lol Can I tell y’all about one more thing I’m feeling guilty about? No objections? Good. :) Even though I will miss my family, I have to admit that I’m looking forward to taking care of only me for a few days. Sometimes, the day-to-day stuff, laundry, dishes, homeschool, worry about dinner, settling disputes between fighting kids can ware one down until she starts thinking she is only needed for these things and nothing else. I know I’m loved; I know I’m needed, but is what I do appreciated? And, more importantly why am I even wanting to be appreciated when I’m supposed to be a living sacrifice? If I’m doing it all for the glory of God, why does it matter if anyone else appreciates what I do? I’ll admit there’s a little voice inside me that sneaks up and says, “Let them see if they can manage all this without me.” Maybe, I shouldn’t post this, after all. I’m not being very nice, and I’m not real sorry, yet. I asked on face book if anyone wanted to read a blog about my experiences during class at the guide dog school. Many of you said you would. So, now you know what I’m feeling just a week before I take that bus North to Columbus. It’s a little different than when I went to get my first dog. If you want to read that story, check out the previous post called, “A Miracle Named George”. Until next time, pray for us; we could use it.

A Miracle Named George

To understand the story you are about to read, you will first need to understand three important things about me: I have issues with trust, for the first nineteen years of my life I was terrified of dogs, and until that July day I knew very little about unconditional love. It was a Monday, July 20, 1998 to be exact, and it was around one o’clock p.m. I was standing in the doorway to my room at The Seeing Eye in Morristown New Jersey, anxiously waiting to hear my instructor call my name. All sorts of questions were running through my mind, and in the forefront was the fear that I was making an awful mistake. One by one other names were called. Each time a name was called, a few seconds would go by and then I would hear the person and her dog walk quietly past my door. I wanted to bite my nails. I probably cracked my nuckles a time or two. I shifted from one foot to the other and sighed enough for thirty people. Finally, shocking me out of my own thoughts I heard my instructor’s voice. “Shannon?” I don’t remember responding, but in seconds I was seated in a chair in the lounge, my instructor standing beside me. “Shannon,” she said, “ this is George.” At her words, two huge paws touched my knees. “Down, George,” my instructor said, and the dog obeyed immediately. But, all I could think of was, “His name is George?” George, though, didn’t give me time to think on his name. We were taken back to my room where the door was closed, leaving us alone. I petted him, he put his paw up to shake hands, and he sat so pretty, as if to say, “I’m a good boy. I promise.” After several minutes, George got bored, I think, and went to the door, pressing his nose against the tiny space between the portal and the frame. He sniffed it, then licked it and then whined. I could almost hear him crying out for the lady who had trained him. I sat down in the chair in the corner of the room and dropped my hands in to my lap, feeling at a complete loss. “Okay, God, you got me here. Now, what am I supposed to do?” Some time later, my instructor, who, oddly enough was also named Shannon, took George and me on a walk outside. George wore the harness and leash, as well as a second leash that my instructor held in her competent grip. It felt like I stumbled around that path instead of walked, and I kept stepping on poor george’s feet, but he never stopped and neither did I. Still, I was worried. If this stumbling around was what I could expect, maybe this guide dog thing wasn’t for me. From the beginning we were taught to feed, water and care for our dogs without any sighted assistance. We were also taught how to use a plastic baggie in order to pick up after our dogs when they left their droppings at our feet. Cleaning ears, brushing teeth, grooming, feeding, watering, and giving our pups pills were all things we had to know how to do well before we left the school. Sometimes, it was easy, and sometimes it was not, but always there was a positive atmosphere. The day that stands out in my memory took place on Tuesday, July 21. I can’t remember if it was morning or afternoon, but I do remember it was a bright, sunny day. I also remember my confidence was sorely lacking. I was still wondering if maybe God had brought me up here for nothing more than to show me how crazy getting a dog would be. Our instructions were simple. Take up the handle of your dogs’ harness and walk down the sidewalk before us. The instructor would be right behind our right shoulder, watching our every step. No need to worry. Looking back, I can’t remember if we were told anything about the sidewalk or not, but I don’t think so. I stood there at the corner and took a deep breath. Quite literally, my instructor was asking me to put my life in to the hands...ahem, paws of a dog. Could I do it? Was God calling me to do it? I hooked George’s leash around my wrist, lifted the leather handle and took another bracing breath. Here goes nothing, Lord. “George, forward.” Suddenly, where there was calm and quiet, there now was this seventy-eight pound dog pulling me down an unfamiliar sidewalk. Several times I cracked my toes on parts of the sidewalk that jutted up from the ground. “Toes up, Shannon!” came the voice of my instructor. “Oh, Lord,” I whispered, frantically, “what on eartha m I doing?” Swirving around trees and overhangs of leaves and branches, George and I flew down that sidewalk of slate. I had never walked that fast in my whole life. It kind of felt like a roller coaster ride that your friends have talked you in to trying. You are barreling along, and your feelings are ranging between terror and amazement and a thrilling joy. And then... Then, without warning, george stopped, and for a moment I just stood there in awe. I heard the traffic in front of me and my instructor’s words, “You did it!” I had done it! i had walked down an unfamiliar sidewalk at a pace that most sighted folks would later call running, and I was still alive to tell the tale. I had... Wait! I was forgetting something...someone. Right then and there, I knelt down on that hot, slate covered sidewalk and hugged that big, Labrador/Golden Retriever mix. I, who had never hugged a dog in my life, threw every reservation aside and wrapped my arms around him. “We did it, George! You did it! Oh, thank you God!” For the next eight years of my life, I was covered in blondish dog hair. For the next eight years of my life, I did not feel like a blind person. George and I went to school, went to work, walked in ten degree weather, walked in four inches of snow, walked in rain and mud, went to grocery stores, went to concerts, went to restaurants, visited elementary schools, took a plane to visit a friend in Savannah Georgia, slept side by side in the floor to the sounds of an audio book or two, shared pizza after attending a week of church camp, and spent many happy hours just enjoying one another’s company. Many was the time George lead me up a church’s isle to the piano where he lay quietly while I played and sang. Looking back, I know there were things I could have done different. I know all my decisions back then were not always the best ones, but George never stopped loving me, and I never stopped loving him. Some said that having a guide dog wasn’t worth the clean up, but those are the ones who never knew how much we meant to each other. Today, some say I shouldn’t get another dog, but, again, those are the ones who are not yet aware of the bond between a guide dog and a blind person. Sadly, I had to retire George in August of 2006. He past away in February of 2007. I was not there for his last moments on earth, but the George that I remember was happy and healthy, not dead or dying. George, who liked to rub his body against your legs like a cat, lives on in my memory. And, it is because he taught me how to give up my own control and trust, I am ready to move on. Out there somewhere is a new dog just waiting for a blind person who needs him or her. I have applied to a new guide dog school, and once again I find myself feeling a tendency to fear the unknown. Will I be able to trust God again with a new dog? Because, see, it’s not the dog or myself I need to remember to trust - it’s God in whom I am placing my trust. “So, God,” I pray, “get me ready to take that first walk, again and remember I’m scared. Prepare a gentle soul, like George was, but, Lord, help me not to compare this new dog with my first one. Give me confidence, Lord, because no matter how broken up the sidewalk, no matter how many obstacles lay in my way, I can do it, with you and my new furry friend in the lead.”

Monday's Musings: Independence

Wow! What can top that last post? I went back and read Friday's post this morning, and only thing I can say, is "Wow!" lol Where did that come from? Oh, yeah, the Lord. :) Had to have come from Him; nothing good in me, that's for sure. So, the question still remains, how do I top Friday's post? Hmm. Don't think I can. But, it's Monday and time for another post on another topic, so here we go.

I read an email this morning. The person said she wanted full independence. She wants to learn to cut her own food without getting messy. She was asking for suggestions, one because the sighted folks she eats with do not like watching her touch her food, and two, because she wants to be independent. I'll admit, I was not as diplomatic as I should have been. My feeling on the subject of messiness is so what. But, back when I was younger...ahem, 20-years-old or so, I was the same way. I wouldn't eat pancakes unless I had someone to cut them up for me. I wouldn't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because they were too messy to make. Then, one day I wanted a pancake and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and no one was around to fix them for me. It was either fix it myself or go without, and I was tired of going without. So, I got messy and made them. Awful glad I practiced, because my daughters' favorite foods are pancakes with syrup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. As for total independence, that, I wanted to tell the woman, could never be achieved.

To be independent, means you can do something totally on your own; you don't need any assistance. Let's see, how many men out there depend on their wives to wash their clothes? If the wife didn't wash his clothes, he wouldn't know what to do. So, is that man totally independent? Nope. What about the owner of a company, can he or she produce that product independently? No way. That's why people have jobs. Can a person run for president without any help? Nope. Can a deaf person chat on the phone without assistance? Nope. Can a blind person see what is going on in a movie without assistance? Nope. Can someone who is paralyzed walk up that flight of stairs unassisted? I don't think so. Can one person haul their piano in to the moving truck without assistance? No. You see what I'm saying? Deed, reckon that should be asked another way. Do you hear what I'm saying? lol

Just to clarify, I believe that a person with a disability should work to be as independent as possible. In saying that, I mean a person should be able to utilize what resources he or she has in order to live as best they can. If you are losing your sight, admit it to yourself and get some training on how to care for yourself. If you are unable to walk for whatever reason, admit it to yourself and stop being so embarrassed about using walking aids or wheelchairs out in public. So what if people stare. at least you aren't running around naked. If you need a caregiver to go places with you in order to do your shopping, admit it and get out there and shop. Independent living means you know how to use what you have in order to live as you see fit. Note: I am not talking about spiritual matters; I'm talking about physical ones. That spiritual chat will happen some other day.

Ok, I'm climbing down from my soap box, now. lol I do want to say something else before I'm finished blogging for the day.

I have something to admit. All of this depending on someone scares me to death. I try not to think about it, but in my weaker moments it consumes me. Here's what runs through my head.

What if something happens to my husband? What if, someday I can't depend on him to drive us to church. I'd have to find a church that I can walk to and like it. I'd have to move to where I can get a cab or walk to a grocery store or go hungry. I know I need to use what I have and make the best of my current situation, but if my husband was seriously injured or died, I'd be stuck, and I do mean stuck. That scares me. Oh, it's ok that Shannon lives in a rural town with no public transportation, because she doesn't need it, but what if I did?

Letting these fears get the best of me won't accomplish a thing, so I don't let them get the best of me. God, in His infinite wisdom will provide for me and my family. I know this, and I trust Him.

Even so, I miss being able to get up and go whenever I wanted to. Yeah, sure, having kids would have made it hard to do that, no matter where I live, but it would have been nice to walk to the store to get a loaf of bread, rather than depend on my husband all the time. Yeah sure, I would have had to save gas money, if I could see and wanted to take the car somewhere, but at least I could have taken it.

And, before I fall in to a major pity party, I'm done with all that.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

Y'all have a marvelous Monday, and be sure to come back on Wednesday, when I'll write about writing. :)