Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday's Musings: Independence

Wow! What can top that last post? I went back and read Friday's post this morning, and only thing I can say, is "Wow!" lol Where did that come from? Oh, yeah, the Lord. :) Had to have come from Him; nothing good in me, that's for sure. So, the question still remains, how do I top Friday's post? Hmm. Don't think I can. But, it's Monday and time for another post on another topic, so here we go.

I read an email this morning. The person said she wanted full independence. She wants to learn to cut her own food without getting messy. She was asking for suggestions, one because the sighted folks she eats with do not like watching her touch her food, and two, because she wants to be independent. I'll admit, I was not as diplomatic as I should have been. My feeling on the subject of messiness is so what. But, back when I was younger...ahem, 20-years-old or so, I was the same way. I wouldn't eat pancakes unless I had someone to cut them up for me. I wouldn't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because they were too messy to make. Then, one day I wanted a pancake and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and no one was around to fix them for me. It was either fix it myself or go without, and I was tired of going without. So, I got messy and made them. Awful glad I practiced, because my daughters' favorite foods are pancakes with syrup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. As for total independence, that, I wanted to tell the woman, could never be achieved.

To be independent, means you can do something totally on your own; you don't need any assistance. Let's see, how many men out there depend on their wives to wash their clothes? If the wife didn't wash his clothes, he wouldn't know what to do. So, is that man totally independent? Nope. What about the owner of a company, can he or she produce that product independently? No way. That's why people have jobs. Can a person run for president without any help? Nope. Can a deaf person chat on the phone without assistance? Nope. Can a blind person see what is going on in a movie without assistance? Nope. Can someone who is paralyzed walk up that flight of stairs unassisted? I don't think so. Can one person haul their piano in to the moving truck without assistance? No. You see what I'm saying? Deed, reckon that should be asked another way. Do you hear what I'm saying? lol

Just to clarify, I believe that a person with a disability should work to be as independent as possible. In saying that, I mean a person should be able to utilize what resources he or she has in order to live as best they can. If you are losing your sight, admit it to yourself and get some training on how to care for yourself. If you are unable to walk for whatever reason, admit it to yourself and stop being so embarrassed about using walking aids or wheelchairs out in public. So what if people stare. at least you aren't running around naked. If you need a caregiver to go places with you in order to do your shopping, admit it and get out there and shop. Independent living means you know how to use what you have in order to live as you see fit. Note: I am not talking about spiritual matters; I'm talking about physical ones. That spiritual chat will happen some other day.

Ok, I'm climbing down from my soap box, now. lol I do want to say something else before I'm finished blogging for the day.

I have something to admit. All of this depending on someone scares me to death. I try not to think about it, but in my weaker moments it consumes me. Here's what runs through my head.

What if something happens to my husband? What if, someday I can't depend on him to drive us to church. I'd have to find a church that I can walk to and like it. I'd have to move to where I can get a cab or walk to a grocery store or go hungry. I know I need to use what I have and make the best of my current situation, but if my husband was seriously injured or died, I'd be stuck, and I do mean stuck. That scares me. Oh, it's ok that Shannon lives in a rural town with no public transportation, because she doesn't need it, but what if I did?

Letting these fears get the best of me won't accomplish a thing, so I don't let them get the best of me. God, in His infinite wisdom will provide for me and my family. I know this, and I trust Him.

Even so, I miss being able to get up and go whenever I wanted to. Yeah, sure, having kids would have made it hard to do that, no matter where I live, but it would have been nice to walk to the store to get a loaf of bread, rather than depend on my husband all the time. Yeah sure, I would have had to save gas money, if I could see and wanted to take the car somewhere, but at least I could have taken it.

And, before I fall in to a major pity party, I'm done with all that.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

Y'all have a marvelous Monday, and be sure to come back on Wednesday, when I'll write about writing. :)


  1. Dana, thank you :) I was so worried about the wording. Wouldn't want to offend anyone.


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