This morning I felt the Lord leading me to read the following Scriptures. I copied them here for you. I tried to copy and paste the King James 1611 version, but the website I found had it copied from the original text, which is not a bad thing, but I didn't think y'all would be able to read it with U's as V's and V's as U's and I's as J's and... Anyway, this is the 1769 version, which reads just like my King James. So, here's what I read when I opened up the word.
1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious.
4 To whom coming, [as unto] a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, [and] precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ
Do I feel malice toward anyone? No. What about guile? I don't think so. What about envy? Uh...well, not the evil kind. Am I a hypocrite? No, at least I try not to be. I try to be true to what I claim. I guess, though, if I do feel some envy, even if it isn't filled with hate, then I am not being as true as I thought i was.
Now, what about those spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God by Jesus Christ? Well, I desire to do more for God. I want to be a daughter He can count on. There are places I would like to go, things I would like to do in order to spread His love and message of salvation. I want to do my part to be that living stone, part of the house. But, it feels like God is closing the door on what I want to do.
Here's where I might be a bit envious. A friend of mine has her own publishing company. Now, I don't envy her; I don't want that responsibility. :) Today she is going to a book signing. A couple of months ago she went to a book signing. I'm an author. I have published two books, and yet, I'm still here at home. Two months ago my youngest was sick. Today my oldest girl has a fever and a bit of a cough. I want to promote my books. Both of them are Christian books. I am certain God gave them to me. So, what on earth does He want me to do with them? How can i promote them, if I can't go anywhere?
Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm happy for Peggy Hoy and her books. Y'all can check them out at either
Here's something else. I have a friend who is in the ICU, sitting at her husband's bedside. He's on a ventilator, and the doctors don't know why. He can't talk to his wife because of the tube down his throat, and he can't communicate via sign language, because they have restrained him. My friend is blind, so even if he points to something, she can't see it. The hospital he is in is about twenty miles from my house. I'd like to go down there, and at least give my friend a hug and let her know I care, but I can't. I don't have a driver; I don't have a babysitter...and well, it irritates me that I can't be of any help to my friend.
But, one thing I'm sure of, God knows best. My Father in heaven is telling me as clear as the day to be content to stay home and take care of my own. Sometimes, I find myself asking Him, "But, every day, Lord? Day in, day out, stay home?" His answer, I reckon is "YES!"
I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but this is getting hard, and i need y'all to pray for me. Being a full-fledged Titus 2 woman is apparently God's will for me, and I know He will give me all I need to accomplish what He wants me to. So, why am I struggling?
I'm stubborn, and that's the reason. I'm hard-headed, too. lol I'm tired, and the flesh does grow weak, sometimes. But, the Word does say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It also says, He will never leave me. Jesus tells me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. He also says His yoke is easy and His burden light.
All right, God, I give up. Your will be done, not mine. I'll stay home today. I'll care for my babies, do the laundry, clean the kitchen. I'll keep to home. :) Now, Lord, help me to do it with a cheerful attitude. As for tomorrow, well, your word says to take no thought for the morrow, so I won't.
Well, there you have it. I didn't write all that to invoke sympathy or to complain; just being as honest as I know how to be. These are thoughts and feelings anyone would have, sighted or blind. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be, live in an accessible area before you have kids. Then, when you need or want to go somewhere, it won't be so difficult. Other than that, pray, pray and pray some more. And, if you can't think of anyone to pray for, pray for me. :) Happy Friday, y'all!