The Home Coming

In some ways, having a new guide dog is rather like having a new baby in the house. It isn’t the same, of course, but feeling as if there is not enough of me to spread around is the same. Monday evening and Tuesday morning were like that. I felt a bit frustrated, because the girls needed their mama, I needed the girls, things needed doing and my dog needed me, too. On Saturday we did go to Walmart, and my girl did great. If she stopped to sniff the veggies, she did it rather sneakily, so I never knew. There was this old lady who asked to pet our dogs and did actually pet them, but as it turns out, that old lady was just our trainer in disguise. Hahaha! On Sunday our trainer took us outside to do obedience with our dogs, as he had done before, and then a fellow student and I took our dogs out to the Alumni Park to walk around and enjoy the awesome weather. Just as a side note, the Alumni Park at Pilot Dogs is just that, a park created by the Alumni of the school. There are bricks and pavers out there, memorializing folks and dogs alike. There are obstacles to go around, benches to sit on, and it’s very peaceful and quiet and private. Anyway, Sunday afternoon, our trainer took me and another student on a walk around town. It was only a few blocks, but I guess my body knew it was supposed to be a day of rest, because just those few blocks wore me out. lol That night, after dark, our trainer took me and yet another student on a night walk. The difference between a walk during the day and one at night was something I didn’t notice, but my girl can see, so I’m sure it was different for her. But, she lead just as well in the dark as she did in the light, so no troubles there. Monday morning I finished packing my bags, fed my pup, brushed her real good and left at 8:30 for home. We got here around noon, so the man who brought me walked with me and my girl around my home town. Then, he took me to McDonalds for lunch. He took us to the Vet to get my girl her rabies shot and then brought us back home. My girls showed up a few minutes later, and oh it was so good to hold them and kiss them. The hubby brought pizza home for dinner, and it was kind of like a balancing act, when I started to get everyone ready for bed. But, surprisingly we were all in bed by 9. Yesterday, Tuesday, the man who brought me home took my pup and me to Walmart to do some work. Again, she did very well. Then, he brought me home to do more work around my home town. I learned how to get to the town hall and a better way to get to the clinic. By the time he left, I was ready for a nap. lol I took one, too, after my kids and I ate lunch. Last night all 5 of us went to Cracker Barrel for dinner, and it went fine, except my doggie didn’t want to go inside. It was weird, and we can’t figure out why, but when we approached the doors, she hesitated to go in. I encouraged her, but she wouldn’t move. I corrected her, as I was taught to do, but instead of moving forward, she turned completely around. The only thing we can come up with was she was looking for my girls, but we’re not sure. I had my husband and daughters to go in front of me and followed them in, and it seemed to work. But, I’ll bet that nice man who held the door for us went home and told his wife, “I saw this lady and her guide dog at Cracker Barrel, and that dog acted real funny when that lady tried to go inside.” lol Nothing to be done about it though, except work on obedience and try again another day. So, now things are starting to settle down here at home. I have a crate for my pup to sleep in, she is quieting down after the excitement of traveling, and the only thing left to do is find out where in the world I’m going to store her food. Right now, it’s in front of my washer and drier, but it can’t stay there, because there’s a mountain of laundry that I have to do today. Before the man left yesterday to go back to Columbus, one of the things he said to me was, “Walk around this town three times a day, and you’ll be fine.” Reckon he never had piles of laundry, a house to clean, girls to homeschool and dishes to do. lol Walking 12 blocks a day is great and beneficial, but it’s easier done when someone else does the cooking and cleaning. At guide dog school, coffee was ready whenever I wanted it, meals were prepared for me, the floors were cleaned for me, too. All I had to do was walk around, make my bed and care for my dog. Now, I have kids and a house to care for as well as the dog, and somewhere in there, I have a husband I’d like to spend time with. Fshew! Did I bite off more than i can chew?

Walks To Remember

Some of the routes we walk here at Pilot Dogs are very similar. Some have rough sidewalks, some have smoother ones. Some include street crossings with traffic lights and sometimes we cross streets with stop signs. Sometimes we go alone with a trainer, and other times we go with a second person or in a group. Sometimes the walks are uneventful and begin to run together in my mind. But, on Thursday and Friday such was not to be. Thursday morning was rainy, so the trainers set up an obstacle coarse in one of the hallways. We held our dogs’ harness handles and told them forward. The dogs were to lead us through that obstacle coarse and keep us from running in to whatever was there. Our jobs were to follow where the dog lead and pay attention to the signals coming from the harnesses. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my pup and I did it perfectly both times. In the afternoon, the rain seemed to have moved out, so my trainer said to get ready; we were taking the bus down town. I made sure there was a small plastic bag in my pocket in case my girl had an accident and headed with my trainer out the front door. We walked to the bus stop and sat down on a bench to wait. So far, so good. The bus came, and I told the driver where I wanted to get off at. And, in case you are wondering, my trainer told me what to say, because I don’t know down town Columbus. lol Anyway, while riding the bus, my trainer showed me how to turn my leash in to a muzzle. Poor puppy, I thought she felt shamed in front of everyone, but thankfully our stop came then, and I got to take the muzzle off. With buses going to and fro, people passing and talking, traffic heading here and there, sirenes blaring all over the place it was not what you’d call a peaceful walk. We crossed busy streets, wound our way through over a hundred people out on the sidewalks, and were doing well until... All of a sudden, my dog starts acting funny. She kept pulling me to the right and then the left. She was nervous and quivery, and I couldn’t figure out what the deal was. Then, right there in the middle of that crowd of over a hundred, she hunkered down and laid a nice, big, smelly pile on to the sidewalk. Remembering the days from my first dog, I quickly placed my foot near her butt, reached in my pocket for a baggie, and when she stood up, used the baggie like a glove and picked it up. I gave my doggie’s present to my trainer who through it away for me. Then, I wiped the perspiration from my face and began walking again. “We’re coming up on Broad Street,” my trainer said a minute or 2 later. “That’s the one that has 6 lanes. Right?” “Yep,” he said, “but you can do it.” “You hope,” I thought, praying silently to myself. Standing at Broad Street, which btw is a broad street, it began to rain. It was a light rain, but it was rain all the same. I waited, listening to the traffic in front of me and to my left. When I felt it was safe, I told my dog forward and we headed out. Six lanes later, we made it to the otherside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was going to live to tell the tale. We went in to a CVS, where my girl tried to take me to the prescription counter and ran me in to a case of something that thankfully did not tip over. When we came out of there, we went to another curb and waited for the light to change. I was about to go, when I heard a fire truck and another sirene which was probably an ambulance. So, I waited. They past right by us, and my poor little girl shook her head a couple of times. You know it had to be hurting her ears, but she never showed anymore signs of distress. When the sirenes were gone, we crossed and boarded another bus. By this time, the rain was coming down a bit heavier, and I was glad for the driness of the bus. I was dropped off about 3 streets away from Pilot dogs and had to walk down some broken sidewalks in order to get back. This was a route I had done before, so it was not hard, but about 2 blocks from the school, the rain came pouring down. Then, just as I was crossing the last street, I stepped in a big mud puddle and got both feet wet. My girl stopped in the middle of the street to shake, and I almost fell. Fshew! Was I glad to get back all in one piece! On Friday morning we had a test. We were given a set of directions and were expected to follow them and come back to the school. I did well. The route was about 6 blocks, and the trainer even said what a good job I was doing. When I got back, a trainer asked if I wanted to take another walk. Of course, I said yes, and he paired me with another student. This student uses a walking cane for balance, as well as a dog to lead him, so how could I say no, when my challenges are not as many as his? Our walk was good, but similar to the test that morning. After lunch, another trainer asked if my partner and I wanted to go to a convenience store. Again, we said yes. Some of the worst crossings are up that way, but we did it. The store is about 7 blocks away, which means to go there and back, we walked about 14 blocks. I bought some doughnuts while there, and my pup only sniffed a little. :) We got back, and I was thinking that my legs were aching from all that walking, when the director of Pilot Dogs asked if I’d do some walking in the park outside, because there was a film crew wanting some background footage. Well, y’all, of course I didn’t say no. Ha! So, for about 20 minutes, another student and I walked back and forth through the school’s alumni park. Then and only then was my walking over for the day. Walks to remember? You betcha! This afternoon, I’m told we’re going to WalMart, so it should be interesting. The entire class is going as a group, so I’m looking for a good time. I think we’re allowed to buy some stuff for our dogs, so we’ll see. It should be another memorable trip. Wow, 2 more days until I go home. I’m excited, and nervous, too. Missing my family a whole lot, but i’ve met some wonderful folks up here, and I’m going to miss them, as well. Well, it’s about 30 minutes before lunch and I’d like to post this if I can. So, until next time, keep on keeping on. :)

Learning to Wait

No nuggets of wisdom are coming to me this morning. :) Yesterday was busy, and today isn’t much different. But, I’ve set aside some time to write. Now that I brought the mac book in to the computer room, plugged it in, and got everything settled, I dont’ know what to say. Yesterday, I went on a 45 minute walk. My pup and I did pretty well except for vearing a couple of times. She did walk right past a cat without even blinking, though. lol In the afternoon we worked a couple of street crossings with traffic lights. I was nervous, I don’t mind telling you. There was the normal traffic in front of me, the parallel traffic beside and there was a highway above my head with traffic zooming back and forth. Talk about hard to hear. But, we did just fine. You know, I sure am glad I can pray for folks whenever and wherever I am. I’m also glad I can pray for myself while I’m out walking unfamiliar routes with my dog. Yesterday while out on a street corner, a Bible verse came to mind. I do not have time to look it up, so I’ll try and quote it as best I can. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenghth. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” I might fail a test. I might answer a question wrong. I might even step out in to the street at the wrong time, but if I wait on the Lord and trust Him, I will never be a failure. Repeating this to myself on a minute by minute basis is how I get through those hair-raising trips around here. Y’all think I’m kidding, but I’m dead serious. Some folks in class walk faster that I. Some handle their dogs better. But, in the end, that doesn’t matter. What matters is mine and my dog’s safety. What matters is whether I trust my Lord. So, like the song says, “Teach me, Lord, oh teach me Lord, how to wait.”

Well, I Made It!

Four and a half hours on a Gray Hound bus isn’t the funnest thing I’ve ever done, but it sure isn’t the worst, either. The drivers were very helpful, and I made it to Columbus in one piece. But, I’m glad I’m riding in a car on the way home. One of the first things I did when I got here was take a juno walk. A juno walk is when a trainer holds one end of a harness and the student holds the handle and allows the trainer to lead the student, simulating how it would be if a dog was leading the person who is blind. My trainer and I walked around outside, going across streets, down sidewalks and around trees and broken concrete. Trainers do a juno walk in order to determine what type of dog is best for the person. Just as people walk differently, dogs walk and lead different. When we finished with that, I got settled in my room. I unpacked my suit case and put things away. I have a room mate, so we chatted a bit, as well. I called home to make sure my girls were all right. They were, and I felt even better. We had dinner at 5 and a lecture after that. Between dinner and the lecture, my trainer showed me around the facility. After the lecture, I called home again. The babies were missing me, and I think the hubby was, too. :) I sang to them, blew kisses over the phone and told them just how much I love them. But, the call was shorter than I wanted it to be. Around 8:30 or 9 my trainer asked me to go to my room and wait. I waited, but I was so nervous I couldn’t hardly sit still. Several minutes later, here he came with a new dog. She is a black Engllish lab, and she is a sweetie. She wasn’t too interested in me at first, but after she had time to sniff the entire room and check out the place, she came right to me. I guess she wanted to secure the place before she said hello. :) We stayed in the room alone for a little while, getting to know each other, and then I gave her a bath. The trainer helped me, and I was glad for the help. It had been six years, after all since I had a dog. I didn’t get too wet, though, and she got clean, so I reckon it was a win win situation. I didn’t get to bed until 11:30 that evening, and when I did lay down I spent some time chatting with my roomy before I slept. But, being me, I only slept until 4. I waited to get up at 5, got my shower and took my pup out to pee. All in all, my first day and first night here went very well. Yesterday was spent walking with my new dog outside and listening to more instruction. There was some down time, but I really enjoyed talking with the other students. I like learning about others and where they came from. Their stories are always interesting, and sometimes learning about others’ difficulties, helps me remember just how blessed I am. I slept better last night, and today looks like another good day. I’m missing my husband and girls, but i know they are fine. They will be going to our church’s home coming service today, and I wish my pup and I were there to go with them. But, in another way, I’m glad my girl and I have time to bond before the craziness of home. My pup doesn’t know me very well, yet, and I don’t know her. The more time we spend together, the more we will learn each other. I think it’s a good match. Y’all know i went to another school to get my first dog. Well, this school is different, but I like the smallness of the class. I like the home-like atmosphere of the place. No one’s in a hurry, no one expects me to go beyond what I can do, and yet I am still being challenged. I’d like some coffee before breakfast, so I’d better hurry and finish this. I don’t know how often I will blog, but I will as often as possible. So, until next time, keep on keeping on.

Six Days and Counting

Saturdays are usually lazy days for the man of the house. As for me, most of the time on Saturdays you can find me at the kitchen sink with my hands deep in hot, sudsy water, loading and unloading the washing machine or putting away clean laundry. But, somehow I managed to get the laundry done before this Saturday, and there are not enough dishes for me to wash...yet. lol It’s nearly time for dinner, so fear not; I’ll have a sink full to wash before bedtime. This first day of the weekend has been a bit different. First of all, unless you missed the title, it is the sixth day before I leave for Pilot Dogs in Columbus Ohio to get my new guide dog. I’ve been awake since three AM thinking about dogs. What breedd of dog will I get? A stately German Shepherd named Phoebe? A little black lab named Izzy? A laid-back golden retriever named Porter? A happy yellow lab named Daisy? No way of knowing. :) Will I get him or her on Friday evening, or will I have to wait until the next day? Here are a few things I do know for sure. It will be a dog. lol 2. He or she will know how to guide a blind person. 3. Pilot Dogs, from what I’ve been told, crate their dogs at night, so my dog will be used to this. 4. The dog will already have a name before I get there. 5. The dog, no matter how much he or she loves me will take a few days to get used to the fact that I am his or her new person and not the trainer. 6. This dog will have me figured out in a matter of minutes; I will not be able to fool him or her about anything. 7. Whereas The Seeing Eye breeds all their dogs, Pilot does not. They receive most of their dogs from other breeders. Looks like I know a lot, doesn’t it? hahaha! Well, to even things out, here’s some things I do not know. As I have said before, I don’t know what breed or gender my dog is. 2. I do not know what Pilot’s facility looks like, but I do know I can navigate it, dog or not because I have been taught Orientation and Mobility. 3. I don’t know any of the staff personally, but so far from the conversations we have had over the phone, I feel confident that they are ready to help make this experience the best it can be. 4. I don’t know whether I’ll get my dog the Friday evening I arrive or the next morning. 5. I don’t know what taking the Grayhound bus to Columbus is like. 6. I don’t know whether I will crate my dog once I get home or not. Depends on whether I feel it is necessary and depends on if I have the money to buy a crate. 7. Finally, I don’t know how different this new dog will be, but I know he or she will not be like my first one. These are just a few of the things running through my head today. I googled dog crates, and unless I get me some dough, soon, I won’t be crating. But, then again, I might change my mind. Since I don’t know what kind of dog is waiting for me up there, I googled a few of the breeds that Pilot trains. In case you are interested, Animal Planet does a series on different breeds, and you can find them on YouTube. I learned a lot, actually. The breeds I researched were as follows: golden retriever, german shepherd, labrador, and standard poodle. I already told the folks up there I did not want a boxer or a doberman, so I did not research those breeds. I’m actually hoping I don’t get a poodle, simply because of their high maintenance, but if the trainer says a standard poodle is perfect for me, I’ll give that dog a chance. One thing I do want to say about Pilot Dogs. I do like the fact, I can apply online. I get so tired of asking a sighted person to fill out printed forms, so it was nice, for a change to just do it myself. After filling out the online form, Pilot did send some print papers. One I needed to sign to prove what I put on the internet was true. The others were for doctors to fill out, and I’m sure glad they were sighted and able to fill them out. lol But, I’ve yapped the entire time about my new dog and Pilot. Never did tell y’all why this day was different. :) So, this morning my girls and I went to the park here in town. My 7-year-old can’t seem to figure out how to swing. hahaha, so I took some time teaching her...again. lol We had fun. A little, black and white dog came to visit us while we were there. He never barked or even came near enough to touch. He just sat near my 4-year-old while she was on the swings. He yawned and scratched an itch, my daughter said, and when we left, he followed us. Sometimes, he walked in front of my girls who were in front of me, which meant my girls got caned accidentally, but we finally got things smoothed out. The dog didn’t try to follow us in the Post Office, which would have been funny. Instead, he waited and followed us almost all the way home. He left us at our back gate. :) We came in and opened our packages that we got in the mail, and then ate some lunch. Knowing I needed to take some soap and lotion to Pilot, I decided a few days ago to order some stuff from Clean Logic. You can google that, too, if you like. They put braille on their bottles, so folks who are blind will know which bottle is which. Nothing like getting your body wash mixed up with your lotion. lol My Clean Logic came in today’s mail, and so far I’m well pleased with it. Don’t have to ask a sighted person what is what, and that’s the best part. One more thing on my mind today. I am almost finished with the sweater I am crocheting for myself. It’s a fall or springtime sweater, made of yarn that is part cotton and part bamboo from rayon...or is that rayon from bamboo? Ha! I don’t know. Anyway, it’s wonderfully soft, lightweight, yet heavy enough to keep me warm. I made it a little dressy, but not fancy. I think it will look good with my jeans, and I plan to take it to Pilot. Now, all I need is some prayer warriors to believe with me that I’ll get a dog that does NOT like to chew on cotton things. lol Well, reckon that’s all that is on my mind this sixth day before I leave. Y’all keep praying for us and keep reading. You faithful readers keep my spirits up more often than you know. God bless.

A Miracle Named George

To understand the story you are about to read, you will first need to understand three important things about me: I have issues with trust, for the first nineteen years of my life I was terrified of dogs, and until that July day I knew very little about unconditional love. It was a Monday, July 20, 1998 to be exact, and it was around one o’clock p.m. I was standing in the doorway to my room at The Seeing Eye in Morristown New Jersey, anxiously waiting to hear my instructor call my name. All sorts of questions were running through my mind, and in the forefront was the fear that I was making an awful mistake. One by one other names were called. Each time a name was called, a few seconds would go by and then I would hear the person and her dog walk quietly past my door. I wanted to bite my nails. I probably cracked my nuckles a time or two. I shifted from one foot to the other and sighed enough for thirty people. Finally, shocking me out of my own thoughts I heard my instructor’s voice. “Shannon?” I don’t remember responding, but in seconds I was seated in a chair in the lounge, my instructor standing beside me. “Shannon,” she said, “ this is George.” At her words, two huge paws touched my knees. “Down, George,” my instructor said, and the dog obeyed immediately. But, all I could think of was, “His name is George?” George, though, didn’t give me time to think on his name. We were taken back to my room where the door was closed, leaving us alone. I petted him, he put his paw up to shake hands, and he sat so pretty, as if to say, “I’m a good boy. I promise.” After several minutes, George got bored, I think, and went to the door, pressing his nose against the tiny space between the portal and the frame. He sniffed it, then licked it and then whined. I could almost hear him crying out for the lady who had trained him. I sat down in the chair in the corner of the room and dropped my hands in to my lap, feeling at a complete loss. “Okay, God, you got me here. Now, what am I supposed to do?” Some time later, my instructor, who, oddly enough was also named Shannon, took George and me on a walk outside. George wore the harness and leash, as well as a second leash that my instructor held in her competent grip. It felt like I stumbled around that path instead of walked, and I kept stepping on poor george’s feet, but he never stopped and neither did I. Still, I was worried. If this stumbling around was what I could expect, maybe this guide dog thing wasn’t for me. From the beginning we were taught to feed, water and care for our dogs without any sighted assistance. We were also taught how to use a plastic baggie in order to pick up after our dogs when they left their droppings at our feet. Cleaning ears, brushing teeth, grooming, feeding, watering, and giving our pups pills were all things we had to know how to do well before we left the school. Sometimes, it was easy, and sometimes it was not, but always there was a positive atmosphere. The day that stands out in my memory took place on Tuesday, July 21. I can’t remember if it was morning or afternoon, but I do remember it was a bright, sunny day. I also remember my confidence was sorely lacking. I was still wondering if maybe God had brought me up here for nothing more than to show me how crazy getting a dog would be. Our instructions were simple. Take up the handle of your dogs’ harness and walk down the sidewalk before us. The instructor would be right behind our right shoulder, watching our every step. No need to worry. Looking back, I can’t remember if we were told anything about the sidewalk or not, but I don’t think so. I stood there at the corner and took a deep breath. Quite literally, my instructor was asking me to put my life in to the hands...ahem, paws of a dog. Could I do it? Was God calling me to do it? I hooked George’s leash around my wrist, lifted the leather handle and took another bracing breath. Here goes nothing, Lord. “George, forward.” Suddenly, where there was calm and quiet, there now was this seventy-eight pound dog pulling me down an unfamiliar sidewalk. Several times I cracked my toes on parts of the sidewalk that jutted up from the ground. “Toes up, Shannon!” came the voice of my instructor. “Oh, Lord,” I whispered, frantically, “what on eartha m I doing?” Swirving around trees and overhangs of leaves and branches, George and I flew down that sidewalk of slate. I had never walked that fast in my whole life. It kind of felt like a roller coaster ride that your friends have talked you in to trying. You are barreling along, and your feelings are ranging between terror and amazement and a thrilling joy. And then... Then, without warning, george stopped, and for a moment I just stood there in awe. I heard the traffic in front of me and my instructor’s words, “You did it!” I had done it! i had walked down an unfamiliar sidewalk at a pace that most sighted folks would later call running, and I was still alive to tell the tale. I had... Wait! I was forgetting something...someone. Right then and there, I knelt down on that hot, slate covered sidewalk and hugged that big, Labrador/Golden Retriever mix. I, who had never hugged a dog in my life, threw every reservation aside and wrapped my arms around him. “We did it, George! You did it! Oh, thank you God!” For the next eight years of my life, I was covered in blondish dog hair. For the next eight years of my life, I did not feel like a blind person. George and I went to school, went to work, walked in ten degree weather, walked in four inches of snow, walked in rain and mud, went to grocery stores, went to concerts, went to restaurants, visited elementary schools, took a plane to visit a friend in Savannah Georgia, slept side by side in the floor to the sounds of an audio book or two, shared pizza after attending a week of church camp, and spent many happy hours just enjoying one another’s company. Many was the time George lead me up a church’s isle to the piano where he lay quietly while I played and sang. Looking back, I know there were things I could have done different. I know all my decisions back then were not always the best ones, but George never stopped loving me, and I never stopped loving him. Some said that having a guide dog wasn’t worth the clean up, but those are the ones who never knew how much we meant to each other. Today, some say I shouldn’t get another dog, but, again, those are the ones who are not yet aware of the bond between a guide dog and a blind person. Sadly, I had to retire George in August of 2006. He past away in February of 2007. I was not there for his last moments on earth, but the George that I remember was happy and healthy, not dead or dying. George, who liked to rub his body against your legs like a cat, lives on in my memory. And, it is because he taught me how to give up my own control and trust, I am ready to move on. Out there somewhere is a new dog just waiting for a blind person who needs him or her. I have applied to a new guide dog school, and once again I find myself feeling a tendency to fear the unknown. Will I be able to trust God again with a new dog? Because, see, it’s not the dog or myself I need to remember to trust - it’s God in whom I am placing my trust. “So, God,” I pray, “get me ready to take that first walk, again and remember I’m scared. Prepare a gentle soul, like George was, but, Lord, help me not to compare this new dog with my first one. Give me confidence, Lord, because no matter how broken up the sidewalk, no matter how many obstacles lay in my way, I can do it, with you and my new furry friend in the lead.”

Just Rambling

I didn't really know what to title this post; I have a lot of thoughts running around inside my head. I might tell you of some of them, but some I'd better think on how to tell you in a fictionalized version; folks don't like it if they think you're talking about them. :) Also, I'm not in the best of moods,and so I'm afraid if I start telling you all that's on my mind, it might bring you down. So, I'll try and be careful.

Here's something positive. I told you in a couple of posts ago that I am getting a second printing done on "Wild Heart" and publishing a children's book. Well, the children's book is called, "GOLD! A Tall Tale" and I've been in contact with the illustrator, who is also going to design the new cover for "Wild Heart." (MERCY i CAN'T EVEN BLOG FOR EVERYBODY TEXTING ME) GRRRR! Anyway, I forgot what I was saying.

As for the audio book, working on that, too. Keep in touch, and you'll know when the books will be out, maybe sometime in the middle of the summer.

I took some of my books to Ripley yesterday. A lady owns a little book store up there and offered to try and sell some for me. The store, "Books and More" is located at 321 N Church Street, if you are ever in that area. She also has a free book exchange.

You know, I wasn't going to complain, but I miss my dog, George. I miss how he just knew how to find a door, or an empty seat or whatever. Yesterday, I know it wasn't intentional, but I felt like I was being pulled in several different directions. I got out of the van, unfolded my trusty cane, which if I had anything to say about it would be magical. Anyway, I unfolded the cane, maybe I'll name it Cujo and rounded the back end of the van, heading for the door of the store. Ok I know that rhymed, but stick with me here. So, my friend, along with my daughter Faith, which btw is a much better sighted guide than most, went with me. My friend takes my elbow and for a moment, it looks like this old lady is being led by the blind woman. But, I quietly told her I would rather follow, so she let go. I figured if she was going to talk the entire way to the door, I surely could follow. But, she gets behind me instead, and says, "Walk straight. No, straight. Ok, turn a little to the right. Now, walk straight again."

I turned, but she said I turned too soon, even though I didn't run in to anything. I was looking for an intersecting sidewalk, you know one that would lead me to the door, but there wasn't one, just gravel. So, I try to keep my mouth shut, grit my teeth in frustration and try to follow her directions, again. Let me ask you something. How can a person turn right and walk straight at the same time? Well, I know I can't walk a straight line, but come on! Don't grab me, turn me toward the right and say "Walk straight"! And all the while, she is pulling me this way and that, saying, "Let me help you stay out of this mud." GRRR! I'd rather walk in mud!!! Now, I love this lady very much. She's a wonderful person. She's great with my kids, but sometimes...

Can you believe I went out to eat with this person, after all that? Well, we did and it wasn't as bad. See, I got smart and told Faith she had to hold my hand cause that was mommy's rule. :) So, the rest of the day wasn't that bad. In fact, my lil 3-year-old led me through Ponderosa, around tables and people and i used the cane and we didn't run in to a thing. My hip didn't knock over anything, either. We did cut a few corners a little too sharply, but at least she wasn't pulling at me.

I don't know if it was the happenings of the day or not, but I dreamed all night about getting lost and losing things, and feeling around for stuff. I woke up this morning, and oddly enough, remembered my eye doctor who wouldn't do surgery until after I had lost my vision. Bless his heart, he knew what he was talking about. What a precious gift, the gift of sight. So, I cried for a bit this morning, asking God for strength, and now, I'm trying to get it all out by writing about it. See, I don't always have it together; I struggle like everyone else.

I told a friend a few weeks ago, I would try to blog about things people want to know, like my disability. So, if you have any questions or issues you would like me to talk about, drop me an email at
ShannonNicoleWells@suddenlink.net
and I'll try to answer your questions or concerns.

So, y'all mind if I rant a little more? Good, cause I guess I'm not finished.

Ok, so I was trying to follow my friend in the parking lot at Ponderosa, yesterday, Faith was holding my hand, and here is the problem with following nervous people. She walked so close in front of me that if I were to extent my cane and use it properly, I would have hit her. So, I pull it in close and walk slow enough so i don't run in to her, but she keeps turning around to look at me and saying, "Over to the right. Over to the left. No this way." Good night, I can't figure out how the lady kept from running in to something, herself, she kept turning around to look at me. If it had been anyone else, it would have been funny for her to run in to someone. lol But, I''m glad she didn't; I don't want nothing bad to happen to somebody. Anyway, I could have held my cane and just walked along side her, my hand on her elbow, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be independent. However, you know what happens, sometimes when I try to be independent? I usually end up aggravated and wishing I'd never went.

Once, when my aunt took me and the girls to a doctor's appointment at CAMC General in Charleston, she made me so mad I wanted to leave her there. She grabs me right before I almost ran in to the door, she got on my nerves so bad that finally, because I was ready to beg for a private room and a bottle of meds, I gave her my cane, grabbed her arm and said, "Now, let them think you're the blind woman leading that fat girl around." "Here," I finished, handing her Kierstin, "you carry her, too." And she carried Kierstin, my cane and led me, all the while trying to keep Faith with us. I'm sure we looked mighty confusing. Needless to say, I haven't asked her to go anywhere else with me. I won't either, unless something major happens.

Well, you're probably getting tired of hearing all this, so I'll try to stop, but it's not easy. I tell you, it would be so nice to just go somewhere by my self. By that, I mean, just the girls and I, but that's not easy, either. When Kierstin gets a little more steady on her feet, maybe, but then I'll have to worry about handling 2 walking girls. For trips in town, I thought about getting a wagon. Don't know what I'll do for trips outside town, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Fshew, I'm feeling better already! It's good to write it all down; kind of puts things in to perspective for me.

Don't y'all forget about the book signing this Saturday, May 2 at the Rand Community Center beginning around 11:00AM. I'll be selling andsigning books, selling some music CDs and giving away some bookmarks. You can also get some hot dogs for lunch. Also, Sunday, I'll be announcing on my website
www.christianhomeplace.com
the winners to the book and CD drawing, so don't forget to go to my homepage that day and see who won. Gonna let Faith draw a name from one batch and Kierssy is gonna draw a name from the other batch. This way, because the girls can't read, it'll be fair. One lady tried to teach Faith how to spell her name so she could win. "Cheater!" I said. :)

Well, Faith's mouth is running and I can't blog and listen at the same time, so reck'n I'd better git. If you can't come to the book signing, pray for me. If you can, see you there. Take care and remember, if you see a blind person walking and think he or she needs help, be a kind soul and ask them nicely before grabbing them like you're gonna heal them! Sorry.