I didn't really know what to title this post; I have a lot of thoughts running around inside my head. I might tell you of some of them, but some I'd better think on how to tell you in a fictionalized version; folks don't like it if they think you're talking about them. :) Also, I'm not in the best of moods,and so I'm afraid if I start telling you all that's on my mind, it might bring you down. So, I'll try and be careful.
Here's something positive. I told you in a couple of posts ago that I am getting a second printing done on "Wild Heart" and publishing a children's book. Well, the children's book is called, "GOLD! A Tall Tale" and I've been in contact with the illustrator, who is also going to design the new cover for "Wild Heart." (MERCY i CAN'T EVEN BLOG FOR EVERYBODY TEXTING ME) GRRRR! Anyway, I forgot what I was saying.
As for the audio book, working on that, too. Keep in touch, and you'll know when the books will be out, maybe sometime in the middle of the summer.
I took some of my books to Ripley yesterday. A lady owns a little book store up there and offered to try and sell some for me. The store, "Books and More" is located at 321 N Church Street, if you are ever in that area. She also has a free book exchange.
You know, I wasn't going to complain, but I miss my dog, George. I miss how he just knew how to find a door, or an empty seat or whatever. Yesterday, I know it wasn't intentional, but I felt like I was being pulled in several different directions. I got out of the van, unfolded my trusty cane, which if I had anything to say about it would be magical. Anyway, I unfolded the cane, maybe I'll name it Cujo and rounded the back end of the van, heading for the door of the store. Ok I know that rhymed, but stick with me here. So, my friend, along with my daughter Faith, which btw is a much better sighted guide than most, went with me. My friend takes my elbow and for a moment, it looks like this old lady is being led by the blind woman. But, I quietly told her I would rather follow, so she let go. I figured if she was going to talk the entire way to the door, I surely could follow. But, she gets behind me instead, and says, "Walk straight. No, straight. Ok, turn a little to the right. Now, walk straight again."
I turned, but she said I turned too soon, even though I didn't run in to anything. I was looking for an intersecting sidewalk, you know one that would lead me to the door, but there wasn't one, just gravel. So, I try to keep my mouth shut, grit my teeth in frustration and try to follow her directions, again. Let me ask you something. How can a person turn right and walk straight at the same time? Well, I know I can't walk a straight line, but come on! Don't grab me, turn me toward the right and say "Walk straight"! And all the while, she is pulling me this way and that, saying, "Let me help you stay out of this mud." GRRR! I'd rather walk in mud!!! Now, I love this lady very much. She's a wonderful person. She's great with my kids, but sometimes...
Can you believe I went out to eat with this person, after all that? Well, we did and it wasn't as bad. See, I got smart and told Faith she had to hold my hand cause that was mommy's rule. :) So, the rest of the day wasn't that bad. In fact, my lil 3-year-old led me through Ponderosa, around tables and people and i used the cane and we didn't run in to a thing. My hip didn't knock over anything, either. We did cut a few corners a little too sharply, but at least she wasn't pulling at me.
I don't know if it was the happenings of the day or not, but I dreamed all night about getting lost and losing things, and feeling around for stuff. I woke up this morning, and oddly enough, remembered my eye doctor who wouldn't do surgery until after I had lost my vision. Bless his heart, he knew what he was talking about. What a precious gift, the gift of sight. So, I cried for a bit this morning, asking God for strength, and now, I'm trying to get it all out by writing about it. See, I don't always have it together; I struggle like everyone else.
I told a friend a few weeks ago, I would try to blog about things people want to know, like my disability. So, if you have any questions or issues you would like me to talk about, drop me an email at
and I'll try to answer your questions or concerns.
So, y'all mind if I rant a little more? Good, cause I guess I'm not finished.
Ok, so I was trying to follow my friend in the parking lot at Ponderosa, yesterday, Faith was holding my hand, and here is the problem with following nervous people. She walked so close in front of me that if I were to extent my cane and use it properly, I would have hit her. So, I pull it in close and walk slow enough so i don't run in to her, but she keeps turning around to look at me and saying, "Over to the right. Over to the left. No this way." Good night, I can't figure out how the lady kept from running in to something, herself, she kept turning around to look at me. If it had been anyone else, it would have been funny for her to run in to someone. lol But, I''m glad she didn't; I don't want nothing bad to happen to somebody. Anyway, I could have held my cane and just walked along side her, my hand on her elbow, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be independent. However, you know what happens, sometimes when I try to be independent? I usually end up aggravated and wishing I'd never went.
Once, when my aunt took me and the girls to a doctor's appointment at CAMC General in Charleston, she made me so mad I wanted to leave her there. She grabs me right before I almost ran in to the door, she got on my nerves so bad that finally, because I was ready to beg for a private room and a bottle of meds, I gave her my cane, grabbed her arm and said, "Now, let them think you're the blind woman leading that fat girl around." "Here," I finished, handing her Kierstin, "you carry her, too." And she carried Kierstin, my cane and led me, all the while trying to keep Faith with us. I'm sure we looked mighty confusing. Needless to say, I haven't asked her to go anywhere else with me. I won't either, unless something major happens.
Well, you're probably getting tired of hearing all this, so I'll try to stop, but it's not easy. I tell you, it would be so nice to just go somewhere by my self. By that, I mean, just the girls and I, but that's not easy, either. When Kierstin gets a little more steady on her feet, maybe, but then I'll have to worry about handling 2 walking girls. For trips in town, I thought about getting a wagon. Don't know what I'll do for trips outside town, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Fshew, I'm feeling better already! It's good to write it all down; kind of puts things in to perspective for me.
Don't y'all forget about the book signing this Saturday, May 2 at the Rand Community Center beginning around 11:00AM. I'll be selling andsigning books, selling some music CDs and giving away some bookmarks. You can also get some hot dogs for lunch. Also, Sunday, I'll be announcing on my website
the winners to the book and CD drawing, so don't forget to go to my homepage that day and see who won. Gonna let Faith draw a name from one batch and Kierssy is gonna draw a name from the other batch. This way, because the girls can't read, it'll be fair. One lady tried to teach Faith how to spell her name so she could win. "Cheater!" I said. :)
Well, Faith's mouth is running and I can't blog and listen at the same time, so reck'n I'd better git. If you can't come to the book signing, pray for me. If you can, see you there. Take care and remember, if you see a blind person walking and think he or she needs help, be a kind soul and ask them nicely before grabbing them like you're gonna heal them! Sorry.