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The last few lines of Loretta Lynn's song, "Coal Miner's Daughter" have been haunting me, lately. "Not much left but the floor, Nothin' lives here anymore, 'Cept the memories of a coal miner's daughter." So, I woke up around one this morning, and here's what I wrote. Call it a poem, call it whatever you like. Just don't throw anything at me. Ok? lol Home with Mamaw was making that last turn and seeing the afternoon sun reflecting off the trees at the bottom of the hill Home with Mamaw was walking up the front steps and going right in Home with Mamaw was cornbread in the microwave and Pintos on the stove Home with Mamaw was “Coffee’s on!” and visitors after church Home with Mamaw was the scents of fresh cut wood and earth in the summer Home with Mamaw was the bite of a fresh snow and woodsmoke in the winter Home with Mamaw was seeing the moon on a clear night Home with Mamaw was impassable roads covered in ice Home with Mamaw was an old dolly piled with laughing kids Home with Mamaw was a slightly flattened ball after a game of Andy Over Home with Mamaw was well water, biscuits and sweetened rhubarb Home with Mamaw was warming yourself by a wood-burning stove before school Home with Mamaw was sled riding down the hill on Christmas Day Home with Mamaw was too many bee stings out in the yard Home with Mamaw was “Can’t make it through the day without a song about the Lord.” Home with Mom was plenty to eat Home with Mom was noise...always noise Home with Mom was ball games all weekend long Home with Mom was “Get out of the way! Let me sweep up this hair!” Home with Mom was toys everywhere I step Home with Mom was sisters sleep together Home with Mom was “Are you ready to go?” Home with Mom was “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Home with Mom was her way or the highway Home with Mom was church when we could make it Home with Mom was hearing her sing “Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me.” Home with Mom was baby sisters to hold Home with Mom was left over biscuits in a baggie to take on the bus back to the blind school Home with Mom was home made breakfast to go on long bus trips to school on cold mornings Home with Mom was hot chocolate or tea to keep me warm before catching the bus on those cold mornings Home today is TV’s blaring so loud I can’t hear myself think Home today is the happy sound of children laughing Home today is Saturdays beside my man, not needing to say a word Home today is laundry that seems never done Home today is dishes that never stay clean Home today is quiet enough at night to write Home today is reading the Bible at the kitchen table Home today is learning to bake sinfully sweet treats Home today is long talks with my man after listening ears are asleep Home today is joying alongside my children when they learn something new Home today is playing in the yard, Home today is ticking baseboard heaters in the winter Home today is a noisy air conditioner in the summer Home today is neighbors way too close Home today is too small for visitors after church

The Unnamed Poem

I think about you a lot these days, The things you said and all your ways. The sound of your voice in laughter and song, Just hearing it I felt nothing was wrong. You’re just a memory, alive and well, In my stories I often tell, Of the things you taught me and funny things you said. Yes alive and well, but only in my head. At my table you sat, seems like yesterday. We drank coffee and talked away. I made you a bagel. I won’t forget. That I would get burned was your worrying fret. Good times have come, wish I could tell you about. Hard times have come and brought lots of doubt. And others have left us since you died. You would have sorrowed; you would have cried. But, death has no respect for souls, It rips through lives leaving holes, That will probably never be mended again; There will always be this emptiness within. “Death is swallowed up in victory,” we’re told. We’ll meet again on a street of pure gold. But, were is the comfort for the here adn now? Once again on my knees I must bow.

Priorities

The morning before I left for Columbus, I couldn't sleep. So, I turned on the mac book and wrote this blog entry. Thought I'd wait until I came home to post it, so here ye go. We are such a smart bunch of people. Did y’all know that? I mean, we know things our ancestors could only scratch their heads over, and we have done things that used to be science fiction. For instance, people have walked on the moon. Normal everyday folks went in to a man-made craft, punched some buttons and flew to the moon. Not only that, they stepped out and planted their feet on it...well, maybe planted is a strong word. If what they say about gravity is true, and i have no reason to doubt them, then it would be nearly impossible to set both feet at the same time and stand still on the moon. But, I wasn’t there, so maybe they did that. Here’s what’s funny, I can’t see pictures from space. I can’t see the videos taken in space, so can I really say it happened? lol Here’s something else amazing. We know what kind of bacteria ticks carry, and not only that, we know the signs and symptoms and how to treat them, successfully. There was a time when every fever and chill, every runny nose and cough, no matter how you came by it was simply called the Ague. Every high fever that affected your brain in any way was called scarlet fever. Today, we can take pictures of the inside of our bodies and know exactly what is going on in there. Today, antibiotics can kill most bacteria. Today, simple cleanliness saves lives. There is a robotic airplane that can fly without a human inside of it and can measure things like air temperature, barometric pressure and lots of other stuff, just to help predict how bad hurricanes will be. The robot can not fly in to a hurricane...as if it would want to, but people can fly a plane in to a storm that strong. They often do this, just to study the storm. Not so very long ago, all folks had were their eyes, common sense gathered from living in a certain area all their lives and possibly a barometer to forecast weather. Today, we can turn on the TV or radio or internet and get all the latest details on how fast the wind is blowing, how much rain is predicted to fall and what we should do about it. As they say on the weather channel quite often, “You can be prepared.” Now, i have a few questions. What are we preparing for? 2. Why is it so important to preserve life? 3. What does knowledge about space do for me down here? These sound like stupid questions. Don’t they? I mean, didn’t I go to school and learn anything? Answer: I did go to school, and I think I learned a few things. And, I don’t think these questions are as dumb as they sound. So, let’s start with question number 3. Why is it so important to know about space? When I was 8-years-old and in third grade, I remember I couldn’t wait until science class. I loved learning about space! Don’t ask me why, because I couldn’t see any of the pictures they showed. It could have been all a fairy tale as far as I was concerned. But, something about space appealed to me. Later, at the age of seventeen when I got the chance to go to space camp in Huntsville, Alabama, I learned I would never get to go to the moon. For one, I’m too blind, and for another, I’m too short to fit in to the suits. lol So, we know the sun is 93 million...or is that billion...miles away from the earth. We know the planets revolve around the sun. We know there isn’t as much gravity on the moon. And, this helps me today, because... Don’t know about y’all, but one thing it does for me is help me appreciate God’s handy-work just a little bit more. But, can we stop an astroid from slamming the earth, just by knowing it’s out there? If we have to put on all this equipment just to breathe in space, why would we want to live there? And, as for life on other planets, why do we care? I mean, we’re killing our own babies, so life isn’t that important. Right? Stick with me, ya’ll. Ok, so since I mentioned life, let’s talk about question number 2. Why is it so important to preserve life? Folks, there are doctors out there now who will do an abortion during delivery. Did y’all know that? Killing babies when they are just coming in to this world! Ahem, is it appropriate to talk like King David and say, “Destroy them, O God. Let them perish from off the earth.” Ok, maybe that’s being harsh, but it’s how i feel, and someday they will answer for the deeds they do. Anyway, if we’re so stuck on saving lives, why don’t we start with the healthiest of us all; our babies! It’s a good thing to kill bacteria with antibiotics. When I get sick enough, I go to the doctor, and I’m real glad she can give me a shot or a pill that will cure me, because I know that 100 years ago, I would have died if not for that stuff. I’m thankful for defibrillators, ventilators, oxygen tanks, MRI’s, bone scans, hypodermic needles and all that other stuff, but let’s get our priorities straight! And, finally, what are we preparing for? This is the question you probably think is dumb, but that’s ok. Hear me out. A few weeks ago when Isaac was on his way to Louisiana, I watched a lot of the weather channel. Call it boredom, call it curiosity, but I wanted to know if it would destroy places like Katrina did. Men and women alike were outside in all that wind and rain, telling you how it felt, how fast the storm was coming and what you should do about it. And, yet people still stayed behind and had to be rescued, which put others’ lives in danger. That’s no skin off my nose if you want to get stuck in a flood and wait to be rescued, all the while clinging to your roof, but what bothered me was people were more concerned about pets than other people. Shelters for pets is great. I’m going to go get a dog today, and I’d be mighty worried if something happened to that dog. Don’t misunderstand me, here. I just think...once again...our priorities are messed up. People are paid a lot of money to get on TV and tell you a storm is coming. I don’t want anybody to be out of a job, but couldn’t we put some of that money to better use. I mean, come on, we know a storm is coming. Let’s help folks evacuate. Let’s help build levies. Let’s feed the hungry. Oh, boy, I don’t want to get started, but i think I already have. We spend too much time, energy and money on the wrong things and wonder why the country is in debt. A true leader, one who was concerned about his country would not use tax payers’ hard-earned dollars to go on vacation. A leader who truly cared about those he represented would be more concerned about those people and quit worrying about appeasing other nations. A true leader would do all he could to make his country one that did not rely on foreigners to sustain it. A leader who cared would not try to squelch one person’s religious beliefs while fully embracing another’s. And, this talk about being fair, well, I tell y’all like I tell my little girls, “Nothing is fair!” And, folks, it never will be. Yep, we’re a pretty smart bunch. And, to prove it, here’s one more tidbit I find interesting. Fifty years ago, some kin of mine made their own moonshine. Today, the President is having his staff make beer in the White House. Hmm. Wonder why it used to be wrong but ain’t wrong now? Is it because the government wanted control? Maybe. Well, now, I’m tired enough to sleep, it’s almost time to get up and get ready for the day, and I’m thirsty, so reckon this is goodbye until next time.

The Home Coming

In some ways, having a new guide dog is rather like having a new baby in the house. It isn’t the same, of course, but feeling as if there is not enough of me to spread around is the same. Monday evening and Tuesday morning were like that. I felt a bit frustrated, because the girls needed their mama, I needed the girls, things needed doing and my dog needed me, too. On Saturday we did go to Walmart, and my girl did great. If she stopped to sniff the veggies, she did it rather sneakily, so I never knew. There was this old lady who asked to pet our dogs and did actually pet them, but as it turns out, that old lady was just our trainer in disguise. Hahaha! On Sunday our trainer took us outside to do obedience with our dogs, as he had done before, and then a fellow student and I took our dogs out to the Alumni Park to walk around and enjoy the awesome weather. Just as a side note, the Alumni Park at Pilot Dogs is just that, a park created by the Alumni of the school. There are bricks and pavers out there, memorializing folks and dogs alike. There are obstacles to go around, benches to sit on, and it’s very peaceful and quiet and private. Anyway, Sunday afternoon, our trainer took me and another student on a walk around town. It was only a few blocks, but I guess my body knew it was supposed to be a day of rest, because just those few blocks wore me out. lol That night, after dark, our trainer took me and yet another student on a night walk. The difference between a walk during the day and one at night was something I didn’t notice, but my girl can see, so I’m sure it was different for her. But, she lead just as well in the dark as she did in the light, so no troubles there. Monday morning I finished packing my bags, fed my pup, brushed her real good and left at 8:30 for home. We got here around noon, so the man who brought me walked with me and my girl around my home town. Then, he took me to McDonalds for lunch. He took us to the Vet to get my girl her rabies shot and then brought us back home. My girls showed up a few minutes later, and oh it was so good to hold them and kiss them. The hubby brought pizza home for dinner, and it was kind of like a balancing act, when I started to get everyone ready for bed. But, surprisingly we were all in bed by 9. Yesterday, Tuesday, the man who brought me home took my pup and me to Walmart to do some work. Again, she did very well. Then, he brought me home to do more work around my home town. I learned how to get to the town hall and a better way to get to the clinic. By the time he left, I was ready for a nap. lol I took one, too, after my kids and I ate lunch. Last night all 5 of us went to Cracker Barrel for dinner, and it went fine, except my doggie didn’t want to go inside. It was weird, and we can’t figure out why, but when we approached the doors, she hesitated to go in. I encouraged her, but she wouldn’t move. I corrected her, as I was taught to do, but instead of moving forward, she turned completely around. The only thing we can come up with was she was looking for my girls, but we’re not sure. I had my husband and daughters to go in front of me and followed them in, and it seemed to work. But, I’ll bet that nice man who held the door for us went home and told his wife, “I saw this lady and her guide dog at Cracker Barrel, and that dog acted real funny when that lady tried to go inside.” lol Nothing to be done about it though, except work on obedience and try again another day. So, now things are starting to settle down here at home. I have a crate for my pup to sleep in, she is quieting down after the excitement of traveling, and the only thing left to do is find out where in the world I’m going to store her food. Right now, it’s in front of my washer and drier, but it can’t stay there, because there’s a mountain of laundry that I have to do today. Before the man left yesterday to go back to Columbus, one of the things he said to me was, “Walk around this town three times a day, and you’ll be fine.” Reckon he never had piles of laundry, a house to clean, girls to homeschool and dishes to do. lol Walking 12 blocks a day is great and beneficial, but it’s easier done when someone else does the cooking and cleaning. At guide dog school, coffee was ready whenever I wanted it, meals were prepared for me, the floors were cleaned for me, too. All I had to do was walk around, make my bed and care for my dog. Now, I have kids and a house to care for as well as the dog, and somewhere in there, I have a husband I’d like to spend time with. Fshew! Did I bite off more than i can chew?

Walks To Remember

Some of the routes we walk here at Pilot Dogs are very similar. Some have rough sidewalks, some have smoother ones. Some include street crossings with traffic lights and sometimes we cross streets with stop signs. Sometimes we go alone with a trainer, and other times we go with a second person or in a group. Sometimes the walks are uneventful and begin to run together in my mind. But, on Thursday and Friday such was not to be. Thursday morning was rainy, so the trainers set up an obstacle coarse in one of the hallways. We held our dogs’ harness handles and told them forward. The dogs were to lead us through that obstacle coarse and keep us from running in to whatever was there. Our jobs were to follow where the dog lead and pay attention to the signals coming from the harnesses. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my pup and I did it perfectly both times. In the afternoon, the rain seemed to have moved out, so my trainer said to get ready; we were taking the bus down town. I made sure there was a small plastic bag in my pocket in case my girl had an accident and headed with my trainer out the front door. We walked to the bus stop and sat down on a bench to wait. So far, so good. The bus came, and I told the driver where I wanted to get off at. And, in case you are wondering, my trainer told me what to say, because I don’t know down town Columbus. lol Anyway, while riding the bus, my trainer showed me how to turn my leash in to a muzzle. Poor puppy, I thought she felt shamed in front of everyone, but thankfully our stop came then, and I got to take the muzzle off. With buses going to and fro, people passing and talking, traffic heading here and there, sirenes blaring all over the place it was not what you’d call a peaceful walk. We crossed busy streets, wound our way through over a hundred people out on the sidewalks, and were doing well until... All of a sudden, my dog starts acting funny. She kept pulling me to the right and then the left. She was nervous and quivery, and I couldn’t figure out what the deal was. Then, right there in the middle of that crowd of over a hundred, she hunkered down and laid a nice, big, smelly pile on to the sidewalk. Remembering the days from my first dog, I quickly placed my foot near her butt, reached in my pocket for a baggie, and when she stood up, used the baggie like a glove and picked it up. I gave my doggie’s present to my trainer who through it away for me. Then, I wiped the perspiration from my face and began walking again. “We’re coming up on Broad Street,” my trainer said a minute or 2 later. “That’s the one that has 6 lanes. Right?” “Yep,” he said, “but you can do it.” “You hope,” I thought, praying silently to myself. Standing at Broad Street, which btw is a broad street, it began to rain. It was a light rain, but it was rain all the same. I waited, listening to the traffic in front of me and to my left. When I felt it was safe, I told my dog forward and we headed out. Six lanes later, we made it to the otherside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was going to live to tell the tale. We went in to a CVS, where my girl tried to take me to the prescription counter and ran me in to a case of something that thankfully did not tip over. When we came out of there, we went to another curb and waited for the light to change. I was about to go, when I heard a fire truck and another sirene which was probably an ambulance. So, I waited. They past right by us, and my poor little girl shook her head a couple of times. You know it had to be hurting her ears, but she never showed anymore signs of distress. When the sirenes were gone, we crossed and boarded another bus. By this time, the rain was coming down a bit heavier, and I was glad for the driness of the bus. I was dropped off about 3 streets away from Pilot dogs and had to walk down some broken sidewalks in order to get back. This was a route I had done before, so it was not hard, but about 2 blocks from the school, the rain came pouring down. Then, just as I was crossing the last street, I stepped in a big mud puddle and got both feet wet. My girl stopped in the middle of the street to shake, and I almost fell. Fshew! Was I glad to get back all in one piece! On Friday morning we had a test. We were given a set of directions and were expected to follow them and come back to the school. I did well. The route was about 6 blocks, and the trainer even said what a good job I was doing. When I got back, a trainer asked if I wanted to take another walk. Of course, I said yes, and he paired me with another student. This student uses a walking cane for balance, as well as a dog to lead him, so how could I say no, when my challenges are not as many as his? Our walk was good, but similar to the test that morning. After lunch, another trainer asked if my partner and I wanted to go to a convenience store. Again, we said yes. Some of the worst crossings are up that way, but we did it. The store is about 7 blocks away, which means to go there and back, we walked about 14 blocks. I bought some doughnuts while there, and my pup only sniffed a little. :) We got back, and I was thinking that my legs were aching from all that walking, when the director of Pilot Dogs asked if I’d do some walking in the park outside, because there was a film crew wanting some background footage. Well, y’all, of course I didn’t say no. Ha! So, for about 20 minutes, another student and I walked back and forth through the school’s alumni park. Then and only then was my walking over for the day. Walks to remember? You betcha! This afternoon, I’m told we’re going to WalMart, so it should be interesting. The entire class is going as a group, so I’m looking for a good time. I think we’re allowed to buy some stuff for our dogs, so we’ll see. It should be another memorable trip. Wow, 2 more days until I go home. I’m excited, and nervous, too. Missing my family a whole lot, but i’ve met some wonderful folks up here, and I’m going to miss them, as well. Well, it’s about 30 minutes before lunch and I’d like to post this if I can. So, until next time, keep on keeping on. :)

Learning to Wait

No nuggets of wisdom are coming to me this morning. :) Yesterday was busy, and today isn’t much different. But, I’ve set aside some time to write. Now that I brought the mac book in to the computer room, plugged it in, and got everything settled, I dont’ know what to say. Yesterday, I went on a 45 minute walk. My pup and I did pretty well except for vearing a couple of times. She did walk right past a cat without even blinking, though. lol In the afternoon we worked a couple of street crossings with traffic lights. I was nervous, I don’t mind telling you. There was the normal traffic in front of me, the parallel traffic beside and there was a highway above my head with traffic zooming back and forth. Talk about hard to hear. But, we did just fine. You know, I sure am glad I can pray for folks whenever and wherever I am. I’m also glad I can pray for myself while I’m out walking unfamiliar routes with my dog. Yesterday while out on a street corner, a Bible verse came to mind. I do not have time to look it up, so I’ll try and quote it as best I can. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenghth. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” I might fail a test. I might answer a question wrong. I might even step out in to the street at the wrong time, but if I wait on the Lord and trust Him, I will never be a failure. Repeating this to myself on a minute by minute basis is how I get through those hair-raising trips around here. Y’all think I’m kidding, but I’m dead serious. Some folks in class walk faster that I. Some handle their dogs better. But, in the end, that doesn’t matter. What matters is mine and my dog’s safety. What matters is whether I trust my Lord. So, like the song says, “Teach me, Lord, oh teach me Lord, how to wait.”

A Sunday at Guide Dogs School

The weather here yesterday was almost perfect. It was cool in the morning, about 47 I think, but it warmed to about 63 in the afternoon with the sunshine streaming down. I checked the weather on my iPhone last night, and I think today is supposed to be about the same. My new girl and I took 2 walks yesterday and worked on obedience. I have to put in here, she and I both needed it all. :) The obedience was done outside in a parking lot where there is lots of room to walk around and not bump in to anything. There were 4 students and 4 dogs in all out there, and the trainer was able to meet everyone’s individual needs. The first walk was in a park on the school’s property. There’s only one way in and one way out and the way is the same. :) It’s a cement path with bricks and pavers throughout it. There are some obstacles that one might find out in the “real world”, and I hope to spend more time out there to brush up on those little things like skinny sidewalks, sharpt turns, steps, bushes growing close to the sidewalk and the occasional squirrel or 2. :) My second walk was along city streets. There is a spot with broken sidewalk, a curb that is rounded, trees in the way, pets barking from their homes, traffic and everything else you can find on a city block. My confidence began to really soar as we walked, and I noticed my girl looking back at me several times as if to ask, “You all right back there?” One thing I have noticed about myself is I can’t memorize information when someone is constantly talking close to my head. lol By the time I study the current curb or street crossing, I have already forgotten what I did the corner before. As far as street names, I remember the names but not where they are. Ha! I need to brush up on this, and thankfully, this place has maps I can feel with street names in braille. I forgot how much I get a kick out of hearing a dog snore. She snores and you can tell by her breathing, she is dreaming. It’s funny. Today will be my first week day of training, and I’m told it’s a lot different than the weekend. But, I’m glad I had a couple of slower days to get settled. Not that I got much sleep...regular coffee after 6 in the evening doesn’t make for a pleasant sleep, but I’m not nervous or afraid. I feel at peace about my new pup and I as a working team. Well, I’m going to go hook up to the internet and post this. Mornings come early around here, and I want to get it finished before I take my girl out. After she does her business, I’ll dish out some grub and put it in her bowl. Then, I’ll get me some coffee and sit out in the lounge and enjoy it. So, until next time, keep smiling and remember God loves you!

Well, I Made It!

Four and a half hours on a Gray Hound bus isn’t the funnest thing I’ve ever done, but it sure isn’t the worst, either. The drivers were very helpful, and I made it to Columbus in one piece. But, I’m glad I’m riding in a car on the way home. One of the first things I did when I got here was take a juno walk. A juno walk is when a trainer holds one end of a harness and the student holds the handle and allows the trainer to lead the student, simulating how it would be if a dog was leading the person who is blind. My trainer and I walked around outside, going across streets, down sidewalks and around trees and broken concrete. Trainers do a juno walk in order to determine what type of dog is best for the person. Just as people walk differently, dogs walk and lead different. When we finished with that, I got settled in my room. I unpacked my suit case and put things away. I have a room mate, so we chatted a bit, as well. I called home to make sure my girls were all right. They were, and I felt even better. We had dinner at 5 and a lecture after that. Between dinner and the lecture, my trainer showed me around the facility. After the lecture, I called home again. The babies were missing me, and I think the hubby was, too. :) I sang to them, blew kisses over the phone and told them just how much I love them. But, the call was shorter than I wanted it to be. Around 8:30 or 9 my trainer asked me to go to my room and wait. I waited, but I was so nervous I couldn’t hardly sit still. Several minutes later, here he came with a new dog. She is a black Engllish lab, and she is a sweetie. She wasn’t too interested in me at first, but after she had time to sniff the entire room and check out the place, she came right to me. I guess she wanted to secure the place before she said hello. :) We stayed in the room alone for a little while, getting to know each other, and then I gave her a bath. The trainer helped me, and I was glad for the help. It had been six years, after all since I had a dog. I didn’t get too wet, though, and she got clean, so I reckon it was a win win situation. I didn’t get to bed until 11:30 that evening, and when I did lay down I spent some time chatting with my roomy before I slept. But, being me, I only slept until 4. I waited to get up at 5, got my shower and took my pup out to pee. All in all, my first day and first night here went very well. Yesterday was spent walking with my new dog outside and listening to more instruction. There was some down time, but I really enjoyed talking with the other students. I like learning about others and where they came from. Their stories are always interesting, and sometimes learning about others’ difficulties, helps me remember just how blessed I am. I slept better last night, and today looks like another good day. I’m missing my husband and girls, but i know they are fine. They will be going to our church’s home coming service today, and I wish my pup and I were there to go with them. But, in another way, I’m glad my girl and I have time to bond before the craziness of home. My pup doesn’t know me very well, yet, and I don’t know her. The more time we spend together, the more we will learn each other. I think it’s a good match. Y’all know i went to another school to get my first dog. Well, this school is different, but I like the smallness of the class. I like the home-like atmosphere of the place. No one’s in a hurry, no one expects me to go beyond what I can do, and yet I am still being challenged. I’d like some coffee before breakfast, so I’d better hurry and finish this. I don’t know how often I will blog, but I will as often as possible. So, until next time, keep on keeping on.

The Last Night Before...

I thought a good dinner would take my tummy ache away, but it didn’t. I haven’t had much caffeine today, so I’m hoping I won’t be too keyed up to sleep. I know I keep telling y’all how nervous and excited I am, so I’ll try to stop repeating myself, but I just can’t believe I am going to do this! My suit case is all packed, except for those few last minute things, all my laundry is caught up, for now, and there’s really nothing else to do but enjoy this last night with my family. Deed, well, I thought I would have something to say each day, but I believe I’ve already said all that needs saying. Tomorrow isn’t here, and I don’t have any guarantees that it will ever come. For some folks, tomorrow never came. Lord, help me be ready to meet you, if my tomorrow isn’t meant to come. It’s almost bedtime for my girls, and so this will be short, but I just wanted to post one last time before I leave. I’ll be packing up the mac book either later tonight or early in the morning, so this is the last you faithful readers will hear from me until I’m in Columbus. When it comes time for stuff like this, I guess all I can say is in God I trust. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, what makes me happy and what makes me sad. He knows what His plans are for me and mine, and when it’s His appointed time, He will let me know. So, pray for me, pray for yourselves, and come back soon; I’m sure when I get settled, I’ll have quite a lot to say.

Just Two More Days

There’s a suit case in my living room floor with my clothes in it. It doesn’t have all my things, but it’s real close. After one more load of laundry, I think I will only have the last minute stuff to pack, like toothbursh and meds and such. I did manage last night to buy buttons and sewed them on to my sweater this morning. I crocheted the button holes and edging, tried it on and now it’s packed with all my other things. The sweater met my mommy’s approval, so I’m feeling good about it. :) My girls and I had a special science lesson today. We baked coco puff muffins. It was a mix from a box, something I don’t normally do, and I was surprised at how much simpler it was not baking from scratch. lol But, my second grader got to crack an egg and help measure out ingredients and both girls got to stir the batter. I think they tasted it, too, but I never saw a thing. ;) The muffins were surprisingly pretty good, but I didn’t like the candy things inside the batter. But, my babies and I were together, we had fun, they turned out good, and that’s all that matters. So many thoughts and emotions are running around inside my head, I don’t even know how I’m feeling. Excited about getting a new dog, nervous at going to a place I’ve never been, anxiety over whether I remembered to pack everything, sadness over leaving my husband and girls, sorrow that my great aunt is dying, and some grief because my great aunt's condition reminds me of my mamaw. I won’t be here to attend the services for my papaw’s sister, and that is bothering me, too. On top of all that, my littlest one is getting a cold. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, and neither does death. Plans are made, and we just have to keep going. Things happen, and we just have to trust in God that He will bring us through and give us strength to face what comes our way. I’m reminded of a song. “I have a source of strength when I am weak, that helps me through when life is pressing me. I have a source of power from above. I’m covered over by a shield of love. I claim the blood Jesus shed on calvary. Those precious blood stains were made there just for me. Through all my sin, my sickness and my pain, when I need healing, I just claim those precious blood stains.” Here’s the part i like. “I do not know how others make it through, who never go to calvary as I do. For there’s a healing, cleansing stream still floes with peace that only His redeemed can know.” God bless you all, and if you can’t think of anyone to pray for, and you’re tired of praying for me, remember those in the nursing homes and hospitals, tonight. Be glad, if you aren’t in one, that you aren’t.

Three To Go

A lot is going through my head today, so much that I won’t even try to share it all. I didn’t sleep well last night, and it has been pouring the rain, and add those two together, and you get someone who might go on emotions rather than facts. You also will get someone who can’t stop writing run-on sentences. lol Only three days to go. Wow, I’m having a hard time believing it. In less than three days, actually, I’ll be in Columbus. Whenever I stopped to think about it, I get this surge of something between excitement, nervousness and unreality. I mean, I haven’t done anything like this since before I met my husband. Of course, my man and I did pick up and move almost three hundred miles away a few years ago, but that was different; he was with me. This time, I’m packing up and heading off alone for ten days. Am I crazy? The furthest I’ve been away from home on my own was taking the bus twenty miles down town. Now, I’m about to take a bus almost two hundred miles to a different state! Am i doing the right thing? I must be, because God keeps confirming things. A little while ago, I was kind of half worrying half praying about a situation, which I had no answer for. The only answer I was getting was to just do what I could and not stress about the rest. Then, right out of the blue, my husband sends me a text with the answer. Of course, he didn’t know what was on my heart, but God did, and He used someone else to answer my prayer. I just love it when He does that. I did a little packing today and a lot of laundry. :) tomorrow I’ll do more laundry and more packing. Thursday I’ll probably do even more. Ha! There was a bit of crying around here today, too, and I expect there will be more. I guess it’s all a part of growing up for my babies, though...and for me. lol You know, I wish I could call my mamaw up on the phone and talk to her. I know I know how to pack a suit case, but I wish I had someone to talk about it with as I packed. She would listen, she would do a lot of telling me what and when to do, and all the while she would be telling me how much she loved me and thinking inside her head how she could feed my new dog without me knowing about it. :) Well, in honor of the third day before I leave, I have to put this in here. When I hear three days, my first thought is that Jesus was in the grave for three days, Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days, and the apostle Paul was blind for three days after the Lord spoke to him on the road to Damascus. So, there must be some significance about three days. Hmm, will have to study that one out. Ok, y’all, it’s almost time for the man of the house to get home from work, and I’m starving. So, until tomorrow, keep smiling and remember God loves each and every one of you.

Four Days

What comes to your mind when you hear, “Four days”? Let’s see, there’s a four day work week, something most people wish they had. There’s a four day weekend, something else most folks wish they had. :) There’s a song called “Four Days Late”, which, BTW is an awesome song. And, the only other four days i can think of is four days left until I leave to get my knew dog. Y’all knew that was coming, didn’t ya? hahaha! This morning I went to the Post Office to see if my bus ticket to Columbus was there. Sad to say, it was not. After that, I let my homeschooled girls play outside while the weather was good. Then, I brought them in and got them some lunch to munch on. After that, my aunt came and drove us down to the Hospice House to see my grandfather’s sister. She isn’t doing well, so your prayers would mean a lot. As we were leaving, a cousin of mine leaned over her bed and said “I love you, Grandma.” Made me remember my own grandma. For now, though, my cousin has the peace of knowing she left the place, her grandma still living. The last time I leaned over my mamaw and told her I loved her, was the day I left knowing she had died. See, y’all, death isn’t a graduation. Death isn’t our friend. It’s the enemy. But, death is swallowed up in victory! Oh, grave, where is thy sting? Oh, grave, where is thy victory? Jesus overcame the grave, and someday, we will, too. Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. So, my beloved brothers and sisters be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. For, as ye know, your labor is NOT in vain! Jesus is coming; ready or not, He is coming back to receive us unto Himself that where He is, there we can be. Amen? Amen! Wow, ya’ll expected a post about getting ready for guide dog school. :) I’m not sorry, though. After all, this blog is called “Old Time Christian”, and what kind of Christian would I be if I left my saviour out of it all? Why, I’d be a hypocrit, that’s what. I am starting to feel overwhelmed, though, and I haven’t even started packing. Tomorrow is my major laundry day. Gonna wash everything I can, including my shoes. I not only have my things to pack, but some stuff to pack for my kids while I’m gone. But, if I can’t think of anything to be thankful for at the moment, it’s first of all I’m alive to think, and second, I ain’t gotta do it tonight. Tonight, I’m gettin’ ready for bed! So, until next time, ZZZZZZZZZ

Five Days Left

I have a warning for all you faithful readers out there. I might not keep on topic today. Yeah, yeah, I know that surprises you, but it’s just how I am. Ha! I’ve always heard the best place to start is the beginning, so the first thing on my mind is intentions. We can have good intentions, but until we do something about them, they are as useless as an air conditioner in winter. I intended to buy buttons for my new sweater at WalMart today, but I never made it to WalMart. Intended on picking up my meds at WalMart’s pharmacy, but I nev...oh yeah, done said that. I didn’t make it to WalMart because we stayed at my in-law’s longer than I thought we would. We might have left earlier, but I didn’t know what time the pharmacy closed. I could have called to check, but I forgot the phone number. So, I guess the moral of this story is, be better prepared. Sunday School was pretty cool this morning, if I do say so myself. I got to teach a class. Thankfully, it had not been long since I studied a few lessons and could pull one out of my hat. I had two students, both boys. One was in the fifth grade and the other was in the eighth. Both did a lot of talking about football. Y’all know how much I know about football? Well, let’s just say I no nothing and keep it at that. lol I told the guys I grew up with three sisters and only had girls in my house, and the younger boy said, “Well, you could adopt a boy.” lol We sang a song during our class time, and after I mentioned this to the church during morning worship, without much prodding my fifth grader got up and came to the front, crutches and all just to sing with me. Kind of made me feel special. It doesn’t seem real that in less than a week I’ll be paired with a new dog. Sometimes, I want my new dog to look like my first one and act like him, too. Other times, I pray they give me a dog that looks and acts nothing like him. Kind of glad the decision is out of my hands. I’ve been told by those who have been to Pilot Dogs that one of the first things a student is required to do is bathe their dog. I gotta admit here, folks that my first reaction was one of horror. I mean, give a dog a bath? Before I got my first guide dog, I was terrified of dogs and knew practically nothing about them. Not a bit sorry I chose a school back then that did not ask that of me. But, having had a dog before, the whole idea isn’t so bad. I hope I’m allowed to put on a big apron or something, cause if the new dog is anything like George was, I’m gonna git wet! Something else on the brain today is trash cans. Yep, I have a trashy mind. Hahaha! One thing to keep in mind if you are new to dogs in the house is that they like to investigate what’s in your trash, so a can with a lid, IMHO is a must. planning to get some before I leave, but if I forget or don’t get around to it, hoping my hubby will get them for me. And, yes I said “them”. I’m needing one for inside and the other for outside to put my doggies presents in. Knowing how to clean up after your doggie is another must, in my book, and that crap has to go somewhere. A can with a good lid is a good idea. And, while I’m talking about containers, I also need to figure out how and where I’m going to store my pup’s grub. I used to put George’s dog food in a plastic container and store it in the laundry room. But, in the last six years, I’ve stored other things in that laundry room, and a container will no longer fit. And, when I do figure out where to put the dog food, the next thing will be to figure out where to keep the dog’s water and food bowls so that they are out of the general path. If you haven’t been able to pick up on it, yet, I live in a very small house, so where to put things is becoming a challenge. But, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Wow, less than five days! Excitement, nervousness, sadness at leaving my babies, but thanks be to God, there is no fear. TV with my man, a good tasting bottle of Cocacola, and another wonderful Sunday behind me. Sounds like I’m blessed, doesn’t it? I am, praise the Lord. And to you, faithful reader, thank you for reading. May God bless you by revealing Himself to you in a new and awesome way. Until tomorrow, keep prayin’, keep praisin’ and remember I’m prayin’ fer ye, too.

Six Days and Counting

Saturdays are usually lazy days for the man of the house. As for me, most of the time on Saturdays you can find me at the kitchen sink with my hands deep in hot, sudsy water, loading and unloading the washing machine or putting away clean laundry. But, somehow I managed to get the laundry done before this Saturday, and there are not enough dishes for me to wash...yet. lol It’s nearly time for dinner, so fear not; I’ll have a sink full to wash before bedtime. This first day of the weekend has been a bit different. First of all, unless you missed the title, it is the sixth day before I leave for Pilot Dogs in Columbus Ohio to get my new guide dog. I’ve been awake since three AM thinking about dogs. What breedd of dog will I get? A stately German Shepherd named Phoebe? A little black lab named Izzy? A laid-back golden retriever named Porter? A happy yellow lab named Daisy? No way of knowing. :) Will I get him or her on Friday evening, or will I have to wait until the next day? Here are a few things I do know for sure. It will be a dog. lol 2. He or she will know how to guide a blind person. 3. Pilot Dogs, from what I’ve been told, crate their dogs at night, so my dog will be used to this. 4. The dog will already have a name before I get there. 5. The dog, no matter how much he or she loves me will take a few days to get used to the fact that I am his or her new person and not the trainer. 6. This dog will have me figured out in a matter of minutes; I will not be able to fool him or her about anything. 7. Whereas The Seeing Eye breeds all their dogs, Pilot does not. They receive most of their dogs from other breeders. Looks like I know a lot, doesn’t it? hahaha! Well, to even things out, here’s some things I do not know. As I have said before, I don’t know what breed or gender my dog is. 2. I do not know what Pilot’s facility looks like, but I do know I can navigate it, dog or not because I have been taught Orientation and Mobility. 3. I don’t know any of the staff personally, but so far from the conversations we have had over the phone, I feel confident that they are ready to help make this experience the best it can be. 4. I don’t know whether I’ll get my dog the Friday evening I arrive or the next morning. 5. I don’t know what taking the Grayhound bus to Columbus is like. 6. I don’t know whether I will crate my dog once I get home or not. Depends on whether I feel it is necessary and depends on if I have the money to buy a crate. 7. Finally, I don’t know how different this new dog will be, but I know he or she will not be like my first one. These are just a few of the things running through my head today. I googled dog crates, and unless I get me some dough, soon, I won’t be crating. But, then again, I might change my mind. Since I don’t know what kind of dog is waiting for me up there, I googled a few of the breeds that Pilot trains. In case you are interested, Animal Planet does a series on different breeds, and you can find them on YouTube. I learned a lot, actually. The breeds I researched were as follows: golden retriever, german shepherd, labrador, and standard poodle. I already told the folks up there I did not want a boxer or a doberman, so I did not research those breeds. I’m actually hoping I don’t get a poodle, simply because of their high maintenance, but if the trainer says a standard poodle is perfect for me, I’ll give that dog a chance. One thing I do want to say about Pilot Dogs. I do like the fact, I can apply online. I get so tired of asking a sighted person to fill out printed forms, so it was nice, for a change to just do it myself. After filling out the online form, Pilot did send some print papers. One I needed to sign to prove what I put on the internet was true. The others were for doctors to fill out, and I’m sure glad they were sighted and able to fill them out. lol But, I’ve yapped the entire time about my new dog and Pilot. Never did tell y’all why this day was different. :) So, this morning my girls and I went to the park here in town. My 7-year-old can’t seem to figure out how to swing. hahaha, so I took some time teaching her...again. lol We had fun. A little, black and white dog came to visit us while we were there. He never barked or even came near enough to touch. He just sat near my 4-year-old while she was on the swings. He yawned and scratched an itch, my daughter said, and when we left, he followed us. Sometimes, he walked in front of my girls who were in front of me, which meant my girls got caned accidentally, but we finally got things smoothed out. The dog didn’t try to follow us in the Post Office, which would have been funny. Instead, he waited and followed us almost all the way home. He left us at our back gate. :) We came in and opened our packages that we got in the mail, and then ate some lunch. Knowing I needed to take some soap and lotion to Pilot, I decided a few days ago to order some stuff from Clean Logic. You can google that, too, if you like. They put braille on their bottles, so folks who are blind will know which bottle is which. Nothing like getting your body wash mixed up with your lotion. lol My Clean Logic came in today’s mail, and so far I’m well pleased with it. Don’t have to ask a sighted person what is what, and that’s the best part. One more thing on my mind today. I am almost finished with the sweater I am crocheting for myself. It’s a fall or springtime sweater, made of yarn that is part cotton and part bamboo from rayon...or is that rayon from bamboo? Ha! I don’t know. Anyway, it’s wonderfully soft, lightweight, yet heavy enough to keep me warm. I made it a little dressy, but not fancy. I think it will look good with my jeans, and I plan to take it to Pilot. Now, all I need is some prayer warriors to believe with me that I’ll get a dog that does NOT like to chew on cotton things. lol Well, reckon that’s all that is on my mind this sixth day before I leave. Y’all keep praying for us and keep reading. You faithful readers keep my spirits up more often than you know. God bless.

Seven days until...

T minus seven days, and my heart is already breaking. I never dreamed I would feel this guilty. The other day when I told my seven-year-old I would leave in ten days, she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed, “I don’t want you to go!” Right then I was ready to call the whole thing off. How could I leave my babies? I tried explaining to my girls that even though this is a hard thing for all of us, we have to be brave and trust that God has a plan. Of course, that’s easier said than done, especially when you are only seven. What my children do not know is what having a guide dog will mean to their mom. What my girls do not understand is that me being gone for ten days is nothing compared to what other kids go through all the time. A friend of mine won’t see her children for seven months. Reading that on face book really got to me. I mean, seven months! I can’t even imagine it! But, God has a job for everyone, and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. But, I digress. Most of y’all probably think I’m making a bigger deal out of it all than necessary. After all, parents leave their kids all the time. Well, not this parent. Quite possibly I could count on both hands the amount of nights I have spent away from my girls. They have spent a few nights with their aunts and grandparents over Christmases, and I had to go in the hospital a couple of times last year. My four-year-old still remembers fearing her mommy would never come home. Y’all, that tears me up! There is a reason for all this madness, though. If there wasn’t, I would not even dream of putting my family through such a trying time. Somewhere, deep in my heart I believe that having a guide dog will be of more help to me in the long run than anything else so far. My husband has enough to do without needing to worry about me, and I’m tired of feeling as if I’m being treated like one of the kids. Maybe, I dream too big, but I’m thinking of shopping trips with just my girls, me and my new dog. Also, once we’re settled back home, I’m thinking that having an animal in the house will help my girls learn not only to care for a dog but how to play with one as well. I’m thinking that a guide dog, as happened with me and my first guide will help us come out of our shells and meet more people. I’m thinking that dog will learn to love my girls and keep an eye out for them when I can’t. So, my suitcase is sitting in the living room waiting to be filled. Yesterday I cleaned out a corner in my bed room for the new dog to sleep in. I went through some old shoes and found an extra pair to take with me. I went through my clothes and have already decided on what to pack. I’m almost ready...almost. Last night my husband said, “You won’t be here for my birthday.” He didn’t sound whiny or anything, but again I felt guilty. The longest he and i have ever been apart was when he went to Disney World for business back in 2004. He was gone three or four days. I’m going to miss him, and he’s going to have a rougher time without someone seeing to all the little things. Hoping to ease everyone’s stress, this girl plans to do up as much laundry as possible. lol Can I tell y’all about one more thing I’m feeling guilty about? No objections? Good. :) Even though I will miss my family, I have to admit that I’m looking forward to taking care of only me for a few days. Sometimes, the day-to-day stuff, laundry, dishes, homeschool, worry about dinner, settling disputes between fighting kids can ware one down until she starts thinking she is only needed for these things and nothing else. I know I’m loved; I know I’m needed, but is what I do appreciated? And, more importantly why am I even wanting to be appreciated when I’m supposed to be a living sacrifice? If I’m doing it all for the glory of God, why does it matter if anyone else appreciates what I do? I’ll admit there’s a little voice inside me that sneaks up and says, “Let them see if they can manage all this without me.” Maybe, I shouldn’t post this, after all. I’m not being very nice, and I’m not real sorry, yet. I asked on face book if anyone wanted to read a blog about my experiences during class at the guide dog school. Many of you said you would. So, now you know what I’m feeling just a week before I take that bus North to Columbus. It’s a little different than when I went to get my first dog. If you want to read that story, check out the previous post called, “A Miracle Named George”. Until next time, pray for us; we could use it.

A Miracle Named George

To understand the story you are about to read, you will first need to understand three important things about me: I have issues with trust, for the first nineteen years of my life I was terrified of dogs, and until that July day I knew very little about unconditional love. It was a Monday, July 20, 1998 to be exact, and it was around one o’clock p.m. I was standing in the doorway to my room at The Seeing Eye in Morristown New Jersey, anxiously waiting to hear my instructor call my name. All sorts of questions were running through my mind, and in the forefront was the fear that I was making an awful mistake. One by one other names were called. Each time a name was called, a few seconds would go by and then I would hear the person and her dog walk quietly past my door. I wanted to bite my nails. I probably cracked my nuckles a time or two. I shifted from one foot to the other and sighed enough for thirty people. Finally, shocking me out of my own thoughts I heard my instructor’s voice. “Shannon?” I don’t remember responding, but in seconds I was seated in a chair in the lounge, my instructor standing beside me. “Shannon,” she said, “ this is George.” At her words, two huge paws touched my knees. “Down, George,” my instructor said, and the dog obeyed immediately. But, all I could think of was, “His name is George?” George, though, didn’t give me time to think on his name. We were taken back to my room where the door was closed, leaving us alone. I petted him, he put his paw up to shake hands, and he sat so pretty, as if to say, “I’m a good boy. I promise.” After several minutes, George got bored, I think, and went to the door, pressing his nose against the tiny space between the portal and the frame. He sniffed it, then licked it and then whined. I could almost hear him crying out for the lady who had trained him. I sat down in the chair in the corner of the room and dropped my hands in to my lap, feeling at a complete loss. “Okay, God, you got me here. Now, what am I supposed to do?” Some time later, my instructor, who, oddly enough was also named Shannon, took George and me on a walk outside. George wore the harness and leash, as well as a second leash that my instructor held in her competent grip. It felt like I stumbled around that path instead of walked, and I kept stepping on poor george’s feet, but he never stopped and neither did I. Still, I was worried. If this stumbling around was what I could expect, maybe this guide dog thing wasn’t for me. From the beginning we were taught to feed, water and care for our dogs without any sighted assistance. We were also taught how to use a plastic baggie in order to pick up after our dogs when they left their droppings at our feet. Cleaning ears, brushing teeth, grooming, feeding, watering, and giving our pups pills were all things we had to know how to do well before we left the school. Sometimes, it was easy, and sometimes it was not, but always there was a positive atmosphere. The day that stands out in my memory took place on Tuesday, July 21. I can’t remember if it was morning or afternoon, but I do remember it was a bright, sunny day. I also remember my confidence was sorely lacking. I was still wondering if maybe God had brought me up here for nothing more than to show me how crazy getting a dog would be. Our instructions were simple. Take up the handle of your dogs’ harness and walk down the sidewalk before us. The instructor would be right behind our right shoulder, watching our every step. No need to worry. Looking back, I can’t remember if we were told anything about the sidewalk or not, but I don’t think so. I stood there at the corner and took a deep breath. Quite literally, my instructor was asking me to put my life in to the hands...ahem, paws of a dog. Could I do it? Was God calling me to do it? I hooked George’s leash around my wrist, lifted the leather handle and took another bracing breath. Here goes nothing, Lord. “George, forward.” Suddenly, where there was calm and quiet, there now was this seventy-eight pound dog pulling me down an unfamiliar sidewalk. Several times I cracked my toes on parts of the sidewalk that jutted up from the ground. “Toes up, Shannon!” came the voice of my instructor. “Oh, Lord,” I whispered, frantically, “what on eartha m I doing?” Swirving around trees and overhangs of leaves and branches, George and I flew down that sidewalk of slate. I had never walked that fast in my whole life. It kind of felt like a roller coaster ride that your friends have talked you in to trying. You are barreling along, and your feelings are ranging between terror and amazement and a thrilling joy. And then... Then, without warning, george stopped, and for a moment I just stood there in awe. I heard the traffic in front of me and my instructor’s words, “You did it!” I had done it! i had walked down an unfamiliar sidewalk at a pace that most sighted folks would later call running, and I was still alive to tell the tale. I had... Wait! I was forgetting something...someone. Right then and there, I knelt down on that hot, slate covered sidewalk and hugged that big, Labrador/Golden Retriever mix. I, who had never hugged a dog in my life, threw every reservation aside and wrapped my arms around him. “We did it, George! You did it! Oh, thank you God!” For the next eight years of my life, I was covered in blondish dog hair. For the next eight years of my life, I did not feel like a blind person. George and I went to school, went to work, walked in ten degree weather, walked in four inches of snow, walked in rain and mud, went to grocery stores, went to concerts, went to restaurants, visited elementary schools, took a plane to visit a friend in Savannah Georgia, slept side by side in the floor to the sounds of an audio book or two, shared pizza after attending a week of church camp, and spent many happy hours just enjoying one another’s company. Many was the time George lead me up a church’s isle to the piano where he lay quietly while I played and sang. Looking back, I know there were things I could have done different. I know all my decisions back then were not always the best ones, but George never stopped loving me, and I never stopped loving him. Some said that having a guide dog wasn’t worth the clean up, but those are the ones who never knew how much we meant to each other. Today, some say I shouldn’t get another dog, but, again, those are the ones who are not yet aware of the bond between a guide dog and a blind person. Sadly, I had to retire George in August of 2006. He past away in February of 2007. I was not there for his last moments on earth, but the George that I remember was happy and healthy, not dead or dying. George, who liked to rub his body against your legs like a cat, lives on in my memory. And, it is because he taught me how to give up my own control and trust, I am ready to move on. Out there somewhere is a new dog just waiting for a blind person who needs him or her. I have applied to a new guide dog school, and once again I find myself feeling a tendency to fear the unknown. Will I be able to trust God again with a new dog? Because, see, it’s not the dog or myself I need to remember to trust - it’s God in whom I am placing my trust. “So, God,” I pray, “get me ready to take that first walk, again and remember I’m scared. Prepare a gentle soul, like George was, but, Lord, help me not to compare this new dog with my first one. Give me confidence, Lord, because no matter how broken up the sidewalk, no matter how many obstacles lay in my way, I can do it, with you and my new furry friend in the lead.”

What I've Learned From Crocheting

I am not perfect. Did you all know that? Well, it’s true. Amazing? Maybe, but most certainly not perfect. If I was, I would not have had to spend an hour and a half correcting a huge mistake in this sweater I am crocheting. Crochet is something I always wanted to do. My mom used to crochet, and I remember feeling her projects and holding them close to my face in order to see all the bright colors. After I got married, Mom tried to teach me. But, she said my fingers kept getting in the way, and she couldn’t see what we were doing. Thankfully, my husband stepped in and helped. Between him and my mom, I learned the basics. When I finally learned how to navigate the world wide web, I found sites with instructions on various stitches and patterns, which is how I learned to follow patterns. I made all sorts of crazy things in the years before I became a mom: adults and baby booties, mittens, ugly hats, decent afghans, pot holders, dish rags, hair scrunchies, and a lot of other stuff that never looked good enough for a name. Then, a couple of months before my oldest daughter was born, I sat down and crocheted my first poncho. It was the Martha Stewart one, and if I do say so myself, it wasn’t too bad. But, lemme tell ya, that summer was a hot one, and I about burned up with my lap full of yards of Lion Brand’s HomeSpun yarn. That fall I made pink booties for my daughter that she wore on her first Christmas. Several months later I made a friend of mine a scarf. When my second daughter was born I made her a pair of pink booties. In the spring of 2009 I found a pattern for a sweater on the internet and decided it was time. I bought the yarn and the proper size hooks and slowly began. It was surprisingly easy, and the sweater fit me when I was finished. But, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted something more. Then, somewhere on the internet I found directions for creating your own sweater pattern. The lady gave instructions for crocheters and knitters, alike, and I read that article over and over again. Deciding I had nothing to lose, I grabbed up some scrap yarn and a size G hook and made sweaters for my girls to ware for Easter. Everyone loved them, and I will admit I was surprised that they turned out to look pretty good. So, I used the same instructions and made a sweater for myself. Everyone loved it, but I knew that next time I tried one for me, I would have to do more careful measuring. ;) If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you might remember my post back last fall about buying new yarns to try. Back then, I bought some pink angora merino. I loved the way that stuff felt, but it was difficult to work with. I set it aside and work with other kinds of yarn for a while. Then, last spring I picked it up again and made a baby sweater for a friend’s new grand baby due to arrive in September. The little garment turned out so sweet, that I crocheted a pair of booties out of the same yarn to match. Angora merino, for those who do not know is yarn made of part merino wool from sheep and part angora which is fur from rabbits. It’s lofty, which simply means it feels thinner than it looks. You have to be real careful with it, because if you have to undo any stitches, the yarn fibers stick together and get knotted up real easy. I guess y’all know what I’m leading up too. Right? Well, I’m crocheting an adult sweater out of angora merino. I practiced my stitches before beginning, made swatches and measured them, carefully figured out how many stitches it took to make an inch and how many rows made an inch. I don’t work on the sweater if I’m already aggravated. Instead, I wait until I feel calm and at peace. I finished the length the other day and stayed up late one night to start the first sleeve. I was truckin’ right along and had 5 inches of sleeve done, when I realized I had made a terrible mistake. My sleeve I had been working on was 3 inches too small. Ha! Nothing I can do about it...except take out 10 rows of double crochets and pray the yarn doesn’t knot up on me. So, stitch by stitch, row by row I began to gently unravel that rabbit/sheep fur/wool. Then, near where the sleeve joined the body of the sweater, the crazy stuff knotted up on me. In the past, I would have laid it down and said, “That’s it!” But, I can’t do that! First of all, my friend is expecting this sweater. I’ve promised it to her. Second, I can’t give up; I’ve put too much time and money in to this project. I have to fix it! Y’all, I have no idea how I managed it, but I cut a little here, and tugged a little there, and crocheted a bit more, and suddenly, it’s fixed. I now have one complete row of stitches on the first sleeve, and it doesn’t look messed up. Fshew! Note to self, “MEASURE NEXT TIME!” lol I never dreamed I’d be saying this, but crocheting...well, yarn crafting of any kind, actually...has taught me some measure of patience over the years. Sometimes, I think it’s like writing in that it’s a type of therapy for me. I mean, if I can create something, and no one can see the mistakes I’ve made and fixed, maybe with perseverance I can do other things. Also, crocheting forces me to sit down and be quiet, something I don’t normally like to do. lol But, if I remember correctly, one of the prophets in the Bible found out that he didn’t hear God’s voice in the wind or fire, but in a still, small voice. Don’t know about y’all, but I can’t hear still, small voices unless it’s quiet. So, for what it’s worth, there you go, an article about crocheting. If there are any morals to this story, I don’t know what they would be, unless it’s stay away from angora merino, unless you have been crocheting or knitting for 10 years or more, and if at first you don’t succeed, tear it out and start again. :) Y’all take care and come back real soon. Oh, and BTW, there's a picture of my first adult sweater on this blog. Look back in 2009 in April. I think the title is "My New Sweater". :)

Rainy Day

The rain has been coming down since around 2 this morning, if not a little before that. All I know is I opened my back door to catch a cool breeze at 2, and it was pouring. It's slowed down, now, but everything is dripping, dripping, dripping. The birds are singing, too. They tweet away as if they had no care in the world. Maybe, they don't. :) After all, the Bible says they neither sew nor reap, and yet our heavenly Father feeds them. Mmm, my coffee is a welcome warmth this morning. It's slowly waking me up. But, I can tell that it's going to be a lazy day, especially if it keeps raining like the weather man says. Lazy day or not, feeling a cool breeze through my open back door, listening to the falling rain and the chatter of children are great ways to enjoy this day that the Lord has made. Rainy days always make me think of my Mamaw. I keep wondering why I don't smell cornbread baking in the oven and Pinto beans boiling on the stove. If it wasn't beans, it was homemade beef stew. Either way, we'd have cornbread and a healthy dose of family togetherness. Sometimes, I think that kind of togetherness died with my mamaw. But, then again, maybe it's still here and we've just not found it, quite yet. Mercy me, but the flies thought my open door meant they could come on in and be welcome. That's the risk you take, I reckon. :) I need a screen door out the back way. I probably let in a few ants, as well, but I got something that'll kill 'em dead, so I'm not worried 'bout 'em. I've made a couple of big decisions here lately, besides my diet, and I'll blog about them another time. I'm trying to keep my posts on one topic at a time. ;) But, just to give you a sneak peek, the decisions I've made concern dogs and going places. Save it to say, I've been too lazy too long, and I'm determined to get my rear in gear. lol Until next time, though, thank y'all for reading. It means a lot.

Front yard reflections

I think somedays are destined to be difficult. I mean, no matter how hard I try for peace it escapes my grasp as if I were trying to hold on to handfuls of water. the Bible says in Isaiah chapter 58 that I am called to be a rdpairer of the breach, but why does the repair job catch me unprepared?

the sun is shining, the birds are singing, there is a wonderful cool breeze blowing, and all I want to do is sit out in my yard and enjoy my coffee. But, all my daughters want to do is fight. thankfully, their Little hearts Ar tender and forgiving and attention spans are short. :) if only we adults were just like children.

I have been absent from this blog and my only excuse is I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. lol in the last month I have changed my eating habits so drastically that I can hardly believe it. no more gallons of sweet tea every day, no more high sugar high carb meals, and no more eating just because the food is there. how much weight have I lost? I'm not really sure, but I am guessing it is more than 10 pounds. it is not always easy but I am determined to make it work! this is not a temporary fix. this is forever. so if you want someone to pray for you can always pray for me.

things at our house are settled down now, so I think I'm finished blogging for now. lol

Sent from my iPhone

Ramblings of a Fevered Brain

My talking thermometer can't decide if my temperature is 101 or 99.3. Can a person's body temp be different from one ear to the other? I have an older thermometer that you put under your tongue, but the batteries haven't been changed in it in like forever, so I'm leery of it, as well. Note to self: Don't buy a cheap thermometer from that particular company again. :) Do to the fact that my feel bad is hurting, this post might not be the nicest or cheeriest, but I have a few things on my mind and wanted to jot them down. Recently, I received an email from that wonderful new part of our lives called face book. It said that a particular person just accepted my friend request. I don't remember asking this person to be my friend, but since we used to go to school together, I left it alone. Now, keep in mind this person past away several months ago. I just figured the person's family kept the face book page up for folks to post memorials to them. No harm in that. Well, here's my gripe. First of all, this person, as far as I know, never claimed to be a Christian. They may have been. I don't know, but I do know this person spent quite a lot of time in a particular bar. Does God say in His word that it is a sin to go to a bar? No, but the Bible does say to abstain from the very appearance of evil. Anyway, whoever is posting on this person's wall, talks as if they are this person talking from heaven. They say things like, "Hello my families and friends. I made the sun to shine because I want you to know I love you." This person, bless their heart, can't spell very well, and needs to learn more about punctuation and correct grammar. Now, i know me saying that is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black; I'm not the best when it comes to punctuation, but it irritates me how bad this person's posts are. Regardless if you believe Christians who die go straight to heaven or not, that person, if they are in heaven, has no control over the sunshine. And, if there are no tears in heaven, why would they be able to look down and see all the suffering going on down here? Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is a free country; you can say what you want. You can even think what you want, and you can even type what you want. So, I did. I mentioned in my last post that I had been doing a lot of crocheting. Well, I finished another Mother's Day gift. It's a bit misshapen, but the recipient, I hope, won't mind. :) I also finished 2 more tiny garments, which are also crooked. lol I have one more gift I hope to complete by Sunday. As for baking, haven't done any of that this week. Didn't make brownies last week, after all, but the cookies, I believe where a hit. :) Are you looking for a new author to check out? Look up Rachel Hauck. I bought a book by her from http://www.audible.com/ the other day. It's called "The Wedding Dress", and I really enjoyed it. A heroine with a gift that had nothing to do with a man, a longing for love and romance and a deep faith in God. A hero whom I liked from the get-go, even though he needed to learn a few things along the way. I couldn't hardly put the book down, and it even made me dream about my own wedding dress, which i haven't seen in twelve years. lol Go look it up. You'll be glad you did. A glass of sweet tea, 2 cups of coffee, a couple of Aspirin and a chocolate doughnut. Yep, I think I'm gonna make it...ok, make that 2 doughnuts. lol Actually, on a more serious note, all sugar and caffeine will do for a person is hype them up and then a few hours later leave 'em high and dry and feeling worse than before. A dose of God's word, now, that will last for quite a while. And, a dose of the Word has no calories. :) "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;" 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 KJV A song puts it this way: "When I think of the love that you've given When I think of the price you paid for me, The trials on earth seem like nothing, When compared to dark calvary." Y'all have an awesome Thursday, and remember, you ain't gotta be perfect, but you'd better be forgiven. :)

An Update

Ok, so Blogger has a new format for posting entries. I don't know if I'm even typing in the correct place or not, but I'm willing to give it a try. Just to make things clear, I'm still alive. lol As for writing, haven't been creating much of my own, except here in the last day or so. A friend of mine and I are writing a story together. So far, it's just for fun, but you never know what will come out of it. What I have been doing quite a bit of is crocheting. I've made a few kitchen items, a tiny garment and a Mother's Day gift for one of the mothers in my life. Don't get too excited, ladies. I'm not giving away any secrets today. :) I've started on another Mother's Day gift, but I have to wait to finish it, when I get more yarn, which I had to order. Another homemaking thing I've been doing, is baking. Last week, I made about 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies for my daughter's youth group at church. Tomorrow our church is having a hot dog and bake sale, and I have been asked to make more of those cookies. I'm planning on baking a pan of brownies, as well. All of that baking will take place some time today, the Lord permitting. I've done a bit of reading, but I'm not really in the mood for it. I read "Cinnamon Roll Murder" by Joanne Fluke, last week, and this week I've been reading on "The Irish Healer". I don't know the author's name to this one. Forgot it. :) But, it's a good book. It's set in England, in 1832, and it concerns a woman who is an herbalist from Ireland who believes her talent lies more along the lines of letting folks die instead of curing them. The hero in the story is a physician who believes he has let everyone down, from his late father to his 3-year-old daughter. These 2 come together and are forced to face a few truths about themselves and what God has called them to be. It's a slower book...those who love action will be let down, but it's a perfect book to crochet to. :) You know, sometimes I wish I was like Samantha on "Bewitched." If not her, then I'd like to have some kind of super powers. Sometimes, it seems like there is so much to get done in such a small amount of time, and I feel like I won't be able to manage it. But, I guess I do have strength that is out of this world, because every time I pray about it, the important stuff gets done. Of course, I have to put action to those prayers; wouldn't get anything done if I asked God for something and then sat back and waited. Yeah, I know He says to wait on Him, and i believe He means for us to do so. But, I think His waiting means, keep busy while you wait. lol Going to try and post this now, so y'all have a happy Friday and a good weekend. Catch ya next time.

The Blind Housewife: Morning Devotions

This morning I felt the Lord leading me to read the following Scriptures. I copied them here for you. I tried to copy and paste the King James 1611 version, but the website I found had it copied from the original text, which is not a bad thing, but I didn't think y'all would be able to read it with U's as V's and V's as U's and I's as J's and... Anyway, this is the 1769 version, which reads just like my King James. So, here's what I read when I opened up the word.

1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious.
4 To whom coming, [as unto] a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, [and] precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ

Do I feel malice toward anyone? No. What about guile? I don't think so. What about envy? Uh...well, not the evil kind. Am I a hypocrite? No, at least I try not to be. I try to be true to what I claim. I guess, though, if I do feel some envy, even if it isn't filled with hate, then I am not being as true as I thought i was.

Now, what about those spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God by Jesus Christ? Well, I desire to do more for God. I want to be a daughter He can count on. There are places I would like to go, things I would like to do in order to spread His love and message of salvation. I want to do my part to be that living stone, part of the house. But, it feels like God is closing the door on what I want to do.

Here's where I might be a bit envious. A friend of mine has her own publishing company. Now, I don't envy her; I don't want that responsibility. :) Today she is going to a book signing. A couple of months ago she went to a book signing. I'm an author. I have published two books, and yet, I'm still here at home. Two months ago my youngest was sick. Today my oldest girl has a fever and a bit of a cough. I want to promote my books. Both of them are Christian books. I am certain God gave them to me. So, what on earth does He want me to do with them? How can i promote them, if I can't go anywhere?

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm happy for Peggy Hoy and her books. Y'all can check them out at either

http://www.hoyfamily.net/

or

http://www.fhpublish.com/

Here's something else. I have a friend who is in the ICU, sitting at her husband's bedside. He's on a ventilator, and the doctors don't know why. He can't talk to his wife because of the tube down his throat, and he can't communicate via sign language, because they have restrained him. My friend is blind, so even if he points to something, she can't see it. The hospital he is in is about twenty miles from my house. I'd like to go down there, and at least give my friend a hug and let her know I care, but I can't. I don't have a driver; I don't have a babysitter...and well, it irritates me that I can't be of any help to my friend.

But, one thing I'm sure of, God knows best. My Father in heaven is telling me as clear as the day to be content to stay home and take care of my own. Sometimes, I find myself asking Him, "But, every day, Lord? Day in, day out, stay home?" His answer, I reckon is "YES!"

I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but this is getting hard, and i need y'all to pray for me. Being a full-fledged Titus 2 woman is apparently God's will for me, and I know He will give me all I need to accomplish what He wants me to. So, why am I struggling?

I'm stubborn, and that's the reason. I'm hard-headed, too. lol I'm tired, and the flesh does grow weak, sometimes. But, the Word does say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It also says, He will never leave me. Jesus tells me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. He also says His yoke is easy and His burden light.

All right, God, I give up. Your will be done, not mine. I'll stay home today. I'll care for my babies, do the laundry, clean the kitchen. I'll keep to home. :) Now, Lord, help me to do it with a cheerful attitude. As for tomorrow, well, your word says to take no thought for the morrow, so I won't.

Well, there you have it. I didn't write all that to invoke sympathy or to complain; just being as honest as I know how to be. These are thoughts and feelings anyone would have, sighted or blind. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be, live in an accessible area before you have kids. Then, when you need or want to go somewhere, it won't be so difficult. Other than that, pray, pray and pray some more. And, if you can't think of anyone to pray for, pray for me. :) Happy Friday, y'all!

The Blind Housewife: On Cleaning, Laundry and Occupying Children

There was something gross on the bottom of my bath tub. I don't know what it was, but I was bound and determined to get rid of it. I sprayed the tub with Clorox Clean Up, let it set for a few minutes and took a wet washcloth and wiped it up. Um...yeah, well, that didn't work. So, I put some Soft Scrub with bleach on it. I rubbed it in, waited a few minutes and wiped again. Still no change. I went looking for a scrub brush, but aliens must have sneaked in and stolen it, because I couldn't find one anywhere. Then, I remembered that scrubby thing that I had scrubbed my pizza pans with. It needed thrown away, anyhow; I'd just use it. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Right? Not the soap pad thingies. No, the thing that feels like a net...sort of? Anyway, I put more Soft Scrub on the crud and went to scrubbing. I scrubbed and scrubbed. I scrubbed with the right hand, and then I scrubbed with the left. I had music playing on the iPod feature on my iPhone, and on my knees by the tub I scrubbed and scrubbed. After several minutes, I started to notice a difference. The scrubbing was working, but it was sure taking some muscle.

About halfway finished, I suddenly wondered what it would be like if God had to scrub like I was scrubbing in order to clean the sin out of us. Hmm. A thought. No? I reckon sometimes, God allows us to be scrubbed, but when it comes to asking Him for forgiveness from sin, He just takes it away, no scrubbing required. With one word, He can wipe the slate clean. He does this, too, when we come to Him with a repentant heart and a contrite spirit. Aren't you glad? I know I am! As for the tub scrubbing, I think I got it all cleaned up. :)

So, how did I keep the girls from bugging me while I attended to the bath tub? Easy. They love playing with those little ducks and things. Well, I told them to clean the ducks and mermaids while I cleaned the tub. I had just finished washing a few dishes, so the dish water was still warm and sudsy. I gave them the tub toys, a chair and a couple of rags and told them to clean them up. They did, and when they were done, the 6-year-old took a towel and wiped up the water on the counter. How cool was that?

I think today breaks a record. I told the girls they could have an ice cream cone after we put all the clean laundry away. I never knew a basket of clothes could get put away so quickly. lol But, my 6-year-old stepped in and helped me put the clothes away, and it was finished in less than 5 minutes. No kidding. :)

Now that my cleaning spree is over for now, I sure could use some good lotion. My hands are itching and dry. I also need someone with a knowledge of pinning up pant legs straight. Haha, my jeans are too long. I had to roll them up a bit. Looks silly, probably, but at least I'm clothed and in my right mind. ;)

It's rather cool and rainy, making me want to fix another cup of coffee. That stuff sure does go fast when a person likes it. :)

Ok, so since you sighted folks are wondering how I managed today, the tub scrubbing was all by feel. I should have used gloves, what with all that bleach and such, but if I had worn them, I wouldn't have been able to feel whether the tub was clean or not. If I can't feel it, then I can't do it independently. So, get over being messy, and get your hands in there...if you're blind,that is. Ha! As for dishes, it's the same; I know they are clean by the way they feel. As for the washer and drier, I memorize which buttons are what and too bad for me if I forget. Wait, that's not true; the 6-year-old has learned to read and helps when I ask. As for matching clothes, my children help me with their's. I know mine by the way they feel. Using my sense of touch, I know when I have grabbed a pair of my pants and when it's the hubby's I'm holding. :) He's shaped different than I am, ye know. Now, as for buying ice cream from the Schwan's man, well, I used my sense of touch to know which credit card I grabbed, my sense of touch, again, to know what foods I was putting away, and when it came to enjoying that ice cream, I used my sense of taste. lol I had my first grader to read package directions for one of the items i bought, and memorized them so I won't have to ask again.

Did y'all git all that? Ha! Well, if you didn't, feel free to drop me a comment and ask away. Until then, my sense of tired tells me it's time to git off here, so I'll catch y'all next time.

How Do You Do It?

Yesterday evening, my dentist asked, "So, how do you cook...the big stuff, I mean? How do you do it?"

A few days ago, a new friend asked, "So, what is it like being a parent who is blind?"

I started thinking about these questions and realized that many people are just too shy to ask them. Yet, they really want to know. They don't want to know what some people do; they don't want to know what studies show. They want to know what I do, because once they know that, they can modify to fit their own needs and wants. It's like cooking. Give me the recipe. Then, I can modify it to meet my needs and skill level. Of course, some folks never stray from the recipe, but that's their own fault and a subject for another post.

I could tell you cooking without sight is hard, fun, exciting, scary, and anything in between, but it doesn't answer your question. I could say being a mother who is blind is wonderful, terrible, exciting, scary, mind boggling and joyful all wrapped up in to one, but, again, that does not answer your questions. So, I am thinking of starting a series or two here on the blog to address how I manage things. I don't know what order the articles will be in, but I think I'll separate the two main questions folks have in to two series: one for cooking and the other for parenting.

If you have specific questions, feel free to comment either on here or on Facebook and ask them. If you want to email me privately, the email addy is
ShannonNicoleWells@suddenlink.net

I'll try to address one issue a week for both subjects. Just y'all keep in mind, what I do works for me and might not work for you.

How do I drain a pot of boiling macaroni without scalding myself?
How do I fry hamburger without setting the house on fire?
How do I know when my bread/cookies are done?
How do I change a dirty diaper without wearing the mess?
How did I nurse my babies?
Which was easier, breast feeding or bottle feeding?
How did i know if my babies were sick?
How did I administer meds when they needed them?
How did I bathe my babies?
How did I manage to keep the babies clothes all matched up?
How did I feed the babies baby food?
Do I always know what my children are in to? Do you? Haha!

I'll be the first to admit, some of these questions do not have an answer. I am not perfect, and neither am I an expert. But, I'll do my best to answer these questions and more.

If you are a new parent who is blind or thinking of starting a family, then, honestly, my best advice is trust in God. Take time to put Him in the center of it all. Because, y'all, sometimes the answer is God. I'm not kidding, and I'm not being flippant. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason why something is a certain way, and only thing I know is God did it or God told me so.

The Bible says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It also says that the things we see are temporal, and the things which are not seen are eternal. So, embrace the fact you can't see it, and let God be your pilot.

Hope to hear from y'all soon!

The Date Says it All

If you came here via Facebook, then you might hear some repeats. Just saying, just in case you can't handle my sarcasm or whatever it's called. :)

So, last night my dear husband put Angry Birds Space on his phone...I think, anyway. He also put it on the 2 old iPhones that we gave to the girls to play with. I stretched out beside him on the bed, lay there for a minute, then realized we had reached a new family pasttime-lazing around playing Angry Birds on our individual phones. Ok, so I wasn't playing Angry Birds. Not sure if it would work with the VoiceOver, but ya never know. lol And, my girls thought I would download the Angry Birds song as a ring tone. It's like we used to say when I was a lil kid in 6th grade. NOT!

There is a website where I get a lot of the audio books I listen to, for free. I went there this morning to see if they had anything new. They did, but I reckon Friday the 13th is like a SciFi day or Final Frontier day, because no matter if it was romance or adventure, every book on there had something to do with space. There were mostly Star Trek books, but there were some r-rated romances where the characters live on weird, made up planets. Not my cup of tea, but I'm glad they are out there for those who like that kind of book. Course, I ain't got any room to talk, really, I have read some vampire romances before. We'll not go in to that, though. ;)

Would it be child abuse if I put duct tape over my kids' mouths to shut them up? I get so tired of hearing, "Mom, she won't stop looking at me! Mom, she won't leave me alone! Mom, she's pushing me! Mom, can't you hear me?" Goodnight! Since it probably would be abuse to do that to them, maybe I'll just buy some ear plugs for me. Ha! lol

I'm in the mood to crochet something. Apparently, the 6-year-old is too, because she's been chaining with a size K hook and some old yarn of mine. She wanted to make something bigger, and I tried to show her how to single crochet (SC) but she didn't get it. Her biggest problem is she is too much like her mother in that if she can't do it right the first time, who needs it. But, her chain looks nice, and with age will come the want to do more. After all, I was married before I had the patience to learn how.

Ok, so the other night at church, all 3 youth teachers did not show up. Two were sick and one had to work over and couldn't make it in time. But, besides my own 2 girls, there were 3 other kids plus 2 teenagers. I told them if they wanted to go downstairs, I'd teach youth. Lemme tell y'all something, it was interesting. lol Teenagers like to try and sneak off, but thanks to the others kids who were wonderful tadlers, we made it through and nobody got in trouble. I like kids. They are so funny, and they don't even know it. Ha! The funniest part was when I couldn't think of anything else to do with them and took one of my prosthetic eyes out to entertain them. Some were like, "OOO," and some were like, "COOL!" I can say one thing, though. I sure did sleep good Wednesday night. lol I'm already looking forward to next time when the teacher isn't there, but when that happens, somebody else can take the teens. I will gladly take 10 and under. lol

Well, now that I have vented some of my frustration and talked about what weirdness has been on my mind in the last hour, I'm thinking of dozing off for a minute or 2. Get some Angry Birds going, and they will never notice. :) Then, again, they'll probably start arguing again. But, it's all good. Those babies are what keep me going. Think my mom is going to stop by here in a bit, too, and there's the usual dishes, laundry and straightening up to do. Never a dull moment round here.

Just want to leave you with one more thing... That banana song on TV is almost as annoying as the Angry Birds song! lol

I Dream: A Poem

I dream of houses big and small,
Of large front porches and leaves in the fall.
I dream of coffee steaming in my mug,
Of plenty of food and the comfort of a hug.
I dream of woodsmoke and fresh, white snow,
Blue skies in summer and biscuit dough.
I dream of plastic eggs hiding in the grass,
Of an old, spring mattress with a headboard of brass.
I dream of rhubarb so sour I shiver,
And the sting in my hand from a tiny, wood splinter.
I dream of moonlight on white, gulf coast sand,
And the smooth certainty of my wedding band.
I dream of the jangle of an old, rotary phone,
I dream of the roughness of a human skeleton bone.
I dream of apples fresh off the tree,
And of shifting sands beneath a blue-green sea.
I dream of things in the present and the past,
Of things meant to perish and things meant to last.
Of the person I was, life full of sin,
And a far away country to which I’ve never been.
I dream of a cross bridging the gap between,
The woman I was and the one yet unseen.
I dream of mercy, pure love and grace,
And when the dream is reality, I’ll see His face.

While I'm Drinkin' My Coffee

I'm about halfway through my first cup of coffee, and I've already fixed breakfast for my girls, checked email and had a shower. Not that y'all needed to know all that, but it is my blog, and you chose to read it. Ha! :)

Since this is my blog, I think I'll write about whatever comes to my mind.

It's Friday, in case ya haven't noticed. ;) Eight years ago, if I would have had the time, I might have walked to Shirley's Diner in Romney WV for breakfast. But, I was working from eight to 4 everyday, so in order to do that I would have either had to get up and be out of the house by six a.m. or waited to go for dinner. But, today would be a good day for some of their pancakes and sausage gravy...oh yeah, and their sweet, iced tea. I always liked Shirley's tea, because it's almost the same as my own. I would have walked their all by myself...wait that's not right. I would have walked their with George, my faithful Seeing Eye dog for eight years. He would lay under the table, all nice and quiet while I ate breakfast. He never begged, unless a sighted person came around. lol While eating my breakfast I liked to sit quiet and listen to the conversations around me. I sure heard a lot of gossip on those mornings. When I was ready to go, I'd pay my bill, grab George's harness handle and say, "C'mon, George. Let's go. Outside, boy."

Haven't been anywhere by myself in so long, I can't remember when it was. But, there are a few things I can do now that I could not do eight years ago. Back then I couldn't bake very well. I didn't know how to change a messy diaper, and there's no way I could have bathed and dressed three people and had them ready to walk out the door in an hour and a half. lol Is it safe to say I traded my freedom for motherhood? Maybe. Would I trade motherhood for that kind of freedom? Absolutely not! Once a mom, always a mom...or, at least, that's how it's supposed to be, anyway. A shame some folks haven't figure that out, yet.

On to another subject before I get mean.

Dear person who continues to text when I'm talking,
Do you know how rude and inconsiderate you are being? Do you even care? If what I have to say is not important to you, then why do you even come around? If you really don't want to take the time to talk to me, just say, "Shannon, I don't want to talk to you." It would hurt my feelings a lot less.
Sincerely,
Learning to Forgive

Ok, apparently I'm dealing with some anger this morning. Why is it easier for me to write about it, though, than to go to the person who upsets me and confront them? Maybe, because I hate confrontation. I NEVER say the right thing. I can't say what I want to say without allowing my emotions to take over. Besides, I'm not so sure it would do any good, and I don't want to waste energy on something that will only make my blood pressure rise. So, I reckon for now I'll just use this blog as a sounding board.

My coffee tastes good. :) I'm about halfway through cup number two, now. I started grinding my own, and I think I'm hooked. Haha, makes me think of that Randy Travis song, where he says, "I'm going back to a better class of losers. This uptown living's really got me down. I need friends who don't pay their bills on home computers, and they buy their coffee beans already ground." Um, reckon by that song I'm uptown...or was it high class? Yes, it was high class. Sorry, Randy for getting the lyrics wrong. I'm about to go pay a bill on my home computer, and I'm drinking coffee that was whole beans last night. lol

My husband called me a high tech redneck a few days ago, but I think he's wrong. According to another country song, the not so rich and famous are supposed to like RC cola and Moon Pies. Sorry, y'all, I hate Moon Pies, and I like Coke, if I'm going to drink a pop. I do like sittin' on the porch on a cool night, though.

Since it's songs that are on my mind, think I'll close with this one.

"Tempted and tried we're oft made to wonder, why it should be thus all the day long. While there are others living about us, never molested though in the wrong."
"Farther along we'll know all about it. Farther along we'll understand why. So, cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all by and by."
"Faithful till death, said our loving master. A few more days to labor and wait. Toils of the road will then seem as nothing, as we sweep through the beautiful gate."
And, the best part...
"When we see Jesus coming in glory. When He comes from His home in the sky, then we will meet Him in that bright mansion. We'll understand it all by and by."
"Farther along we'll know all about it. Farther along we'll understand why. So, cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all by and by."

Well, cup number two is all gone. Can't decide if I'll make more or not. But, in any case, I'm done bloggin', for now. Y'all have a blessed day, and don't forget how much the Lord loves you.