Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Cast Your Vote On Your Favorite Excerpt!

Wow, y'all, I just realized what day it is! Seriously, if you've been waiting on an entry today, I'm sorry. I actually forgot. :)

So, since I'm late at blogging, I'll do something I don't normally do. How about an excerpt? Let's see, what to post. Hmm... Oh, I know!

Ok, here's the deal. I'm working on two different stories right now. I'm going to post teensy excerpts from each, and y'all can vote on which one you think I should finish, first! The piece that gets the most votes, will get more attention than the other.

So, here we go!, and please look over the typos. :)

Excerpt one:
["You may be home, but this is still my house, and if I want to pay someone to care for the yard, I will.  And, since you apparently want to have this conversation your second day back, then, yes, you have been gone too long.  I've needed you, Addie, and you can't even come home long enough to spend the holidays with me.  I know your work in Morgantown has been important to you, but it's high time you settled down and found out what is more important in life."

For an instant, Adison could only stand there and stare at her mother.

"I know what is important in life," she said.  "I'm a Christian, I go to church regularly.  I pray, and I'm sincere about it.  I love you, I miss Dad, and I'm…"

"Holding a grudge against Trace O'Connor for going in to the military instead of marrying you," Helen finished.

Adison felt like she had been punched in the stomach, and for a moment, she had to concentrate just to breathe.

"I do not begrudge Trace the right to serve his country."

"Don't you?" Helen asked.

"No!"

"Then, why aren't you married to him?  Why have you avoided his family, all these years?"

"Because," she choked out, "it hurts too bad!  Because he chose the army over me!  And…  And, because I made a promise to help injured soldiers.  How was I supposed to do that while living on a base?  And, what if…  What if he got his fool self k-killed over there in Iraq, like Daddy?  You forget, Mom, I know how hard it was on you, when they came and told us Daddy was gone, and I don't want to go through that."

Tears glistened on Helen's lashes, and it took her a moment of swallowing hard before she could answer.  When she did, her voice was so soft, Adison had to lean close in order to hear.

"And, you, my daughter, have forgotten that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.  Furthermore, if helping injured soldiers is what you are really called to do, then maybe you should get your rear over to the O'Connors and start doing it!"

With that, Helen stood and went in to the house, allowing the screen door to slam shut behind her.

Feeling as if she had missed something very important, Adison blinked, realizing only then that she was alone on the porch.  She rubbed a hand across her eyes, and tried to recall what her mom had just said, but it was like her brain had stopped working.

They had been talking about her dad, hadn't they?  And, her mom had said that it was better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.  Then, she had said…something about…helping injured soldiers and the O'Connors…and…

Oh, God no!

The exclaimation was somewhere between a cry and a prayer, and the sound of her own voice, raw and pleading made the little hairs at the nape of her neck stand at attention.]


Excerpt two:
[ As the last notes of the verse sounded in the tiny cubical, she met Colbey's gaze and knew it was over; Mr. Saunders had passed.
Colbey closed the unseeing eyes, folded the lifeless hands over the silent chest, and helped Katie spread a sheet over the body before speaking.
Touching a hand to her shoulder, he said, "It's nearly dawn, and we both have been here since yesterday morning.  Come have coffee with me before I take you home."
"I don't think that is a good idea," she said, an all to familiar ache squeezing her heart.
Rubbing a tired hand across his eyes, Colbey sighed.
"No, I guess it isn't."
"There should be some coffee in the lounge, though, and Mrs. Pemberton brought in some homemade doughnuts last night."
Colbey looked in to her eyes, and Katie knew what he was unable to ask. She mustered up a smile for him and nodded; she would never mention the invitation, again.
The lounge was quiet, the coffee hot, and there was a couple of doughnuts left in the box. Leaning back in an old, overstuffed chair, Katie took a long drink of coffee, allowing it to warm the inside of her mouth before swallowing. What she had to tell Colbey was not going to be easy, especially after the night they had had, but it needed to be said.
"Colbey?"
When he looked up, she took a deep breath and just blurted it out.
"I'm leaving New York."
There was a dazed look in his eyes, and it took him a full minute to realize she was serious.
He sat his coffee cup down with such force that some of the dark liquid splashed out on to the table, but he paid no attention.
"Leaving? But...but why? I thought... Well, I thought you liked it here ."
"I do like it here, but it's time for me to go home. The folks are having a time of it, what with the drought and the economy like it is. I've... I've learned a lot, and I've enjoyed it, but it's time for me to leave."
For a moment, Colbey's mouth moved, but no sound came out. Katie's heart ached at the desperation on his face, but there was nothing she could do about it; he had made his choice and they both had to live with it.
"I leave on tomorrow morning's train. I know it's sudden, but..."
"Sudden? You're right, it's sudden! I mean, sure an extra pair of hands would help out at home, but your folks would never hold it against you, if you stayed. You know that!"
"Yes, I know."
"Then, why, Katie?"
"You know why, Colbey."
Just like that, the truth, wrong as it was, lay between them. And, as if she could be conjured up by thoughts alone, the door to the lounge banged open and, Camille Lockhart stormed through the portal like a whirlwind.
For an instant, Katie froze, but, recovering quickly, she schooled her features to give nothing away. Then, like the lady her mama Shewana had taught her to be, she set down her half empty coffee cup, rose to her feet and nodded politely toward a seething Camille.
"Thank you for the coffee, Dr. Lockhart," she said, not allowing her gaze to stray toward Colbey. "If you will excuse me, I must be heading home. Good day, Mrs. Lockhart."
Then, back straight and head held high, she walked out of the lounge and out through the front door of the hospital, never looking back. It was not until she stood alone in her room at the boarding house that she allowed her shoulders to slump in defeat.
You are such an idiot, Katie Colton; in love with a married man!]

So, I am anxiously awaiting your vote. Which one intrigues you the most?

One more thing before I'm finished. How would y'all like for me to post book reviews on here? How often?

Until next time, keep smiling, keep praying, and eat some chocolate ice cream for me. Ok? lol

3 comments:

  1. I liked both excerpts, but I thought passage 1 was slightly more intreguing and has stronger dialog, so I am casting my vote for excerpt 1.

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  2. They're both well written, but I like excerpt one better.

    Salvatore Buttaci
    author of Flashing My Shorts

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  3. Excerpt two gets my vote! I loved it!

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