Author Fridays: Marsha Coles

Welcome to the first edition of "Author Fridays", where you will find
information about an author that you might not know. Sit back, get
comfortable and read about this week's featured author, Marsha Coles.

Marsha Coles is the author of four books, plus a cookbook. "Texas Justice"
and "The Mystery of Coldstone Manor" were published this year by Publish
America. "Poetry & Rythym" and "Sarah & Sally's Big Adventure" were
published through CreateSpace. I first met Marsha on Publish America's
message boards, where new authors from all walks of life come together to
discuss their books and the publishing process with Publish America. "Texas
Justice" is similar to my first book, "Wild Heart" and Marsha and I
exchanged reviews of one another's books. My review of her book can be
found on her website
www.mcolesworks.webs.com
as well as "Texas Justice"'s product page on
www.amazon.com
Her review of my book can be found at
www.christianhomeplace.com

Through this highly efficient tool we call e-mail, I had the pleasure of
interviewing Ms. Coles. When asked about her passion for writing, here is
what she had to say.

"I guess I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was very little. I cannot
remember a time when I didn't. I still have my stories I wrote in
Kindergarten, so, I guess I was five years old when I knew I wanted to be a
writer. Many people inspired me, my family and friends but one person stood
out. Her name was Madine Pulaski. She wasn't a writer but she was a very
influential person. She was a pilot and owned her own airplane. She
created a program in California with her flying ability and I was very lucky
to have her summer home next to mine. She always told me never to give up."

Marsha Coles lives in the Cherokee Nation Capitol, Tahlequah Oklahoma. She
loves to read, write, play Clue with her daughter, and research her family
history. Her love for reading is always with her, but she finds that since
she has four books published she is too busy promoting them to take time out
to read. Her favorite books are the historical romances set in Scotland and
England. Her favorite author is Hannah Howell.

When asked what inspires her to write, Coles says, "Anything can inspire a
writer to write given the proper setting and atmosphere. It could be a word
or a sentence someone says that sparks an idea or sitting outside watching
nature. I like mysteries so my two romance books will hopefully keep you on
edge until the answer is revealed and be enchanted by the romance that
blossoms along the way. My
poetry book tells of living in rural America and "Sarah & Sally's Big
Adventure" is to teach children the reason there are rules."

When it comes to advice for any aspiring author, I believe Marsha's words of
wisdom are worth remembering. She says, and I quote, "There will be
rejection letters; that is part of the writing contract, but for all those
rejections there will be an acceptance letter that will come someday. You
just
have to be persistent and never fold under the pressure. When you write a
book and it is published there is one important thing to remember; the best
thing you can do is promote, promote, promote!"

For more information about Marsha Coles and her books, visit her website
www.mcolesworks.webs.com

Come join me every Friday for new articles featuring authors. If you would
like to be featured here, please send an email to
ShannonNicoleWells@suddenlink.net
Put "author interview" in the subject, and I'll get back with you as soon as
I can. Thanks for reading and come back soon!

Author Interviews: Coming Soon!

That's right! Soon, on this blog, I will be posting interviews with knew or
little-known authors. If you are a published author or know someone who is,
pass the word, and come back often. You never know what you'll find. If the
response is good, I'll post interviews often, but until I get a steady
stream of writers lined up, once every two weeks, I think, will be the way
it will go. To start things off right, below is an interview with me. I
simply answered the questions that I want to use in an interview with
someone else. Instead of a Q&A, I have decided to make it like an article.
Y'all let me know what you think.

My earliest memories are of making up stories in my head, but I clearly
remember when I first knew I wanted to write. I had read a book that
described the lives of several different children with physical
disabilities. I was eight-years-old, and I remember thinking to myself, "It
isn't right that the writer of this book didn't put anything in here about
blind people. Why, if I were to write a story, it would be about me and my
friends who are blind, telling everyone what it was like." And so, I sat
down at my braille writer and did just that. Four pages later, I took the
story to my teacher, who praised it highly. Since then, I haven't stopped
writing.

Ideas for stories do not come from any one source, but from many.
Sometimes, it is a song that plops an idea in my head. Sometimes, it's
another story written by someone else. Sometimes, it's a show on TV or a
movie, and then, there are times that ideas just pop in my head from
seemingly nowhere.

The idea for my first book, "Wild Heart" published by Publish America
actually came from other books. I'm a Western fan, and I found myself
wishing for Westerns with a little romance in them that were also from a
Christian perspective. I read nearly every book at the local library and
bought several, but nothing seemed to satisfy me. So, I sat down one
evening and began to write. Fifteen years later, it's a published work.
It's a Western, with some adventure, romance, mystery, some violence, and
it's from a Christian perspective. My children's book, "Gold! A Tall Tale"
published by AG Press is now available for preordering and will be available
soon. I actually wrote it while still in high school. My English
instructor gave an assignment, in which we had to write our own tall tale.
We had been reading tall tales in class, and so, taking my enjoyment for
butchering the English language, I wrote about Paw and Maw Bump and their
six children who take a trip to Californy to look fer gold.

As you may already know from what I've said, I love to read almost as much
as I love to write. My favorite book by far is the Bible. My favorite
authors include Laura Ingalls Wilder, Joni Eareckson Tada, Diana Gabaldon,
Janet Oake, Susan May Warren, Kay L. McDonald, Patricia Cornwell, Karen
Kingsbury, Lynn Austin Deeanne Gist, and Joy Hakim, to name a few. I also
enjoy other hobbies, such as crocheting, singing, playing the piano,
listening to music, making home made bread, and when I get the chance,
walking on a pretty day. I keep busy, as I am married to a preacher and
have two little girls.

What will you gain by reading my books? Well, for one, you will be
intertained not only by the stories themselves, but also by some of my more
goofier characters, who talk worse than any hillbilly you'll ever meet. I
also believe that when you read my books, you will be opening your heart to
what God may be leading you to do; I truly believe God's holy spirit leads
me in my writing. Therefore, I don't think you can escape it. When I
write, I try to show through the lives of my characters that God does have a
say in our day to day lives, and we can overcome, if Christ lives in our
hearts.

If someone is thinking seriously about publishing their work, or just wants
to become a writer, then the best advice that I can give is know what you
are writing about. If you want to write about living in 1880, then look up
what life was like in 1880. If you want to write about a person who is
blind, do your research. Nothing, and I mean nothing turns me off more than
an author who writes about something that clearly he/she doesn't know a
thing about. In saying that, if you pick up a copy of my book, "Wild Heart"
and find the mistakes that I assure you are there, please forgive this first
time author's mistakes. I am insuring, through the help of Google that it
will not happen again. Also, find a good editor. Books with mistakes or
writing that is not understandable won't get you nowhere.

Having my first book published has been unlike anything that I have ever
experienced, and I am so glad that I took the plunge. Having a disability
could have stopped me, but instead, I am trying to let it become a blessing
to others. We are only given one chance in this life, and so I figure I'd
better make use of what I've got. Wouldn't want to stand before my Maker
one day and have to answer, "Well, Lord, that talent you gave me? You see,
I buried it." No way! Instead, I want to be able to hear Him say, "Well
done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter in to the joys of the Lord."

Shannon Nicole Wells
author of "Wild Heart" and "Gold! A Tall Tale"
www.christianhomeplace.com

An Excerpt of "Wild Heart"

Taken from "Wild Heart" by Shannon Nicole Wells © 2009

As the noon hour of the next day drew near, the street in front of the
Silver Dollar began to empty, but it was not due to a lack of curiosity. In
fact, those souls who were brave enough were finding vantage points along
the street in order to watch from a distance. They were hungry for
something new to gossip about, but they were not stupid; no one wanted to
get in the way of a stray bullet.
Among those brave souls, standing just inside an alley across from the
saloon, stood Gage Colton. The last thing he wanted was to see bloodshed,
but he felt he needed to see who this kid really was. Something in him
seemed to be shouting that he was right; he was finally going to get a look
at the one he'd been following since Texas. Trouble was, what would he do if
his instincts were correct?
Seeing Tombstone's notorious Chief of Police, Virgil Earp, making his way
toward the alley where he stood, he greeted him by asking in a low voice,
"You planning on doing something about this fight?"
Earp gave the younger man an incredulous look, and answered, "No. Baker's
a cardshark, who cheats more often than not! I figure if he's stupid enough
to challenge that kid to a gunfight, he's stupid enough to get his self
killed. And the kid...well, from what I've heard that kid can take care of
his self."
"You've heard of this kid before?" Gage asked.
"No," Earp answered, "not until last night when somebody told me Baker had
called the man out; sides, if I tried to stop every gunfight in town, I'd be
doin' it from now till doomsday!"
Turning away in disgust, Gage wondered what the purpose was in having a
Chief of Police, when he did not seem inclined to keep the peace. He
wondered why no one seemed concerned that lives were at stake. Did anybody
care what became of either man? Would anyone have a funeral for the one who
would be unlucky enough to be too slow at the draw? He seriously doubted
it. Uppermost in his mind was the kid's identity, or rather, was he the
same man who had murdered Jeb Colton? There were no forth-coming answers to
his many questions, but one thing he knew for certain, was that there was
bound to be trouble, no matter who was left standing when the smoke began to
clear.
When the sun had finally reached its highest peak in the sky, he could see
Harry, revolver resting in its holster on his hip, walking slowly down the
left side of the street. Glancing to his right, he saw the kid on his way
to meet his opponent. The two met about twenty feet apart in the middle of
the street.
In the ominous hush that had seemed to fall over the town, Harry's voice
could be heard loud and clear, as he taunted, "Are ye sure ye don't wanna
back out, breed? Wouldn't want any of your Injun blood contaminatin' this
here street, if'n it can be helped!"
Concentrating on the kid's appearance, Gage almost missed the quiet reply.
"It isn't my blood that will be contaminating the street; it'll be yours,
Mr. Baker. Are you sure you want to die today, because we could just call
it off and."
"Cocky little whippersnapper, ain't ye!" Baker said, a little cockily
himself, but he was unable to hide the note of nervousness that kept him
from meeting his opponent's eyes.
"You're a fool," the kid said in disgust.
"What's that? What did ye call me, there, Boy?" Baker asked, nastily,
resting his right hand on his gun.
"I called you a fool," the kid answered, still not bothering to raise his
voice. "If you're wanting to shoot it out, then let's quit all this talk
and get on with it."
Hearing something in the kid's voice that made the little hairs on his arms
stand at attention, Gage narrowed his gaze and studied the man more closely.
His voice had not been loud, nor was it familiar, yet it sounded more like a
woman's than that of a young man.
He had no more time to wonder about it, however, for at that moment, out of
the corner of his eye, he saw Baker begin to draw his weapon. But, he had
no time to cock it, before the kid's bullet hit him between the eyes, and
the unused gun fell to the ground along with a very dead Baker.
As long as he lived, Gage would never forget the look on the kid's face at
that instant. Shock and horror seemed to mingle with a very feminine
expression-the beginning of tears. Then, like a curtain, an expression of
cold indifference fell over his face, and, as if nothing out of the ordinary
had just taken place, he turned to leave the scene, revolver still in hand.
It was all over in a matter of a few moments.
For a split second, silence ruled the spectators. Then all at once, a mass
of people began to flock toward the middle of the street.
Paying no heed to those around him, Gage stepped in to the street, and
without stopping to analyze his reason, began following the tall, slender
figure out of town; he just could not let this kid walk off without finding
out his identity. Behind him, he could hear shouting as folks were
undoubtedly removing the lifeless body from the street. A few were trying
to get close to the kid, too, but the cold expression on his face and the
fact that he still held his revolver at the ready, kept everyone from
getting too close, except Gage. Just as they passed the last buildings in
town, he heard amidst all the shouting, Bob's voice promising his brother
that he would "git that no good Injun fer this."
(end section)

Want more? Go to
www.publishamerica.com
type in "Wild Heart" in the search box and purchase your own copy. Need it
in audio format? Send an email to
ShannonNicoleWells@suddenlink.net
Put "Wild Heart audio" in the subject line, and when it becomes available in
a couple of weeks, I'll let you know.

Imaginary Friends! Where Do They Get This Stuff?

A minute ago, I told my 3-year-old, Faith that she could get one of her baby
dolls, put it in her toy stroller and pretend she was taking her baby to the
store. Here's what she said, and keep in mind that Bernie is her imaginary
friend who is a girl.

"Bernie can't walk anymore. She bumped in to something, and her dad had to
put a bandage on her. She can't walk, so I'm going to put her in this wheel
chair and push her. I'm going to take her home so she can rest and get
better. Then, she'll be able to walk again."

Now, I ask you, where did she get that idea? I mean, she has seen people
using wheel chairs, well, maybe one or two, but we don't know anyone well
enough to say that she sees them on a regular basis. And, I've watched her
TV shows with her enough to know that while someone on there might use a
wheel chair, they aren't on her shows on a regular basis, but somehow, she's
put it together that Bernie had to have an accident and that's why she can't
walk and needs to be pushed home in a wheel chair. I think my older baby is
smarter than most adults. If so, we're in trouble. :)

Sewing Blind

Yeah, you read that correctly; I'm learning to sew. And, on a machine, of
all things. I've sewed by hand before, and I was so slow it wasn't even
funny, but now, making a seam takes no time at all. Of course, it's more
crooked than you could ever imagine, but I'll get there.

So, what brought this on? Well, I wanted to learn to make a skirt that I
could ware and that looks good on me. I paid one person to make me one and
had to have a friend fix it, because it looked like a tent on me. My friend
even made a skirt for me, for which I am very thankful. However, if clothing
is what I want and everyone is so busy and I end up feeling guilty for
taking up another's time, why not learn to do it myself? I mean, I can
crochet, and I have a basic understanding how to put things together, so I
guess there's no reason why I can't try, at least.

Well, Mom let me borrow her Kenmore sewing machine, and last night my dear
husband sat down at the kitchehn table with me and showed me how to use it.
Mom had already shown me how to thread it, but Terry taught me how it works.
I sewed 2 sides together and hemned the top of a little bag-like thingy. The
positive things are I did get a tiny bit better, I understood what I was
doing, I did not poke myself with the needle, the bobin didn't get all
tangled up, and I didn't get up from the table feeling like I was a failure.
However, my seams were mighty crooked, which prompted me to do a google
search. I found out that there is something called a seam guide that costs a
little over $3. Going to check out the machine today, but think I'll order
that seam guide, which is supposed to be adjustable.

Also, in my searching last night, I found a really neet article about a
woman out West who is blind and sews on a machine and has been for a very
long time. So, even though it might seem daunting, it can be done. I know I
have a lot of practice ahead, so I made sure when i went to the fabric store
to purchase some practice material. I also have some old shirts that I can
use to practice on. My biggest worry at the moment is how to cut straight.
If I can cut straight and want to practice using those old shirts, why I
could make a quilt. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the challenge and am
surprised I didn't dream about it last night. So, I do beg your prayers and
any tips or tricks that y'all might want to send my way. God bless!

First Real Book Signing

The lady beside me in the picture is a children's author who lives not too
far from me. I'm going to post her name, book's title and all that pertenant
info on my website soon, so keep checking for updates. Anyway, this is a
picture that my husband took at my first real book signing. It was held at
the Christian Family Book Shoppe in Smithers, WV on July 18. I was there
with Fran, the lady beside me and two other authors. I'm sorry, but I just
can't remember their names. All four of us sat at tables, our books
displayed before us. I was the only one to have business cards and book
marks. Another author brought home made cookies, something I wish I had
thought of. The other three sold one book each, but I didn't sell any. I did
hand out the book marks, and was surprised when the folks in the store
seemed surprised that I was giving something away. I guess they didn't
expect that, so at least I have something going for me. Maybe, if I had
given away free eats as well as book marks, I might have sold one. Oh well.
I'm a little disappointed, but honestly, no one really knows who I am, so I
shouldn't be bothered by it. There will be other signings. I did get to talk
to the other authors and the book store owner, and we all bounced ideas off
one another, which is always a good thing.

Just in case y'all are interested, I do have another book signing planned.
This one is going to be in Romney, WV at the Hampshire County Library on
Saturday, September 12 from 12PM to 2PM. I'll have my book, "Wild Heart" as
well as "Wild Heart" in audiobook and my children's book, "Gold! A Tall
Tale". For more info about "Wild Heart" check out my website
www.christianhomeplace.com
Soon, I will be creating a page dedicated strickly to my children's book,
but for now, here's the synopsis:

Imagine yourself on a wagon train, headed for California to pan for gold.
Now imagine your parents are taller than everyone else, and so are you. Now,
imagine that the animals can talk. Take a trip with Paw and Maw Bump and
their six children as they head West on the California Trail. And, just when
you think you know how the story will end, something extraordinary happens!

I'm thinking of having home made cookies or something similar, but I need to
talk with the folks at the library, first. Also, I may have a few freebies,
maybe some hand crocheted items just from me as a gift if you buy a book.
Who knows. September seems far away.

Well, time to get the girlies ready for evening church, so have to git.

HELP! I'M BEING INVADED!!!

Strange objects litter the floor to the point that I can't even take a step,
it seems without stubbing my toes and turning my ankles. Doors that I know I
left shut are suddenly standing wide open; that's why the millions of
bruises on my shins and bumps on my forehead. Things, like brooms and dish
cloths are turning up in the strangest places, and at all times of the day
or night, I hear these strange voices. Now, y'all stop that laughing! It
isn't a bit funny! If I wasn't grounded in my faith in God, I'd start
thinking there were ghosts in my house, or aliens from another planet, at
the very least. WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE? Why, just today I found a
sandle in the middle of my bed! Now, I won't tell you how I found it; best
leave the details to imagination, but shoes in my bed aren't even the half
of it. A few days ago, I found a piggy bank, a piggy bank mind you in my
refrigerator! Once, I found a coaster inside my toaster, and the toaster was
toasting. We almost had to call the fire department that day. Alarm clocks
found in sock drawers, hair brushes found in laundry baskets, toy hot dogs
inside shoes, the list goes on and on. Are y'all sure there ain't aliens
from other worlds invading earth, cause it sure does seem so.

Ok, so the Bible tells me that God's thoughts and ways are much higher than
mine. And, Jesus said to suffer the little children to come unto Him and
forbid them not, for as such is the kingdom of Heaven. So, here's my
thought, profound or otherwise: maybe like God's thoughts are so much higher
than ours', maybe children's are as well. It has to be so, for nearly 4
years of motherhood has taught me that children just don't think like
adults. Of course, we all know this is true, but it doesn't seem to sink in
until something strange happens, like the 3-year-old climbing up on to the
stove top and turning on a burner, or the 3-year-old putting a coaster in
the toaster and turning it on cause she says her baby needed some toast. How
about the 19-month-old having a fit because you won't let her play with an
old dirty dish rag that has oatmeal all over it...and yes that didhappen
today.

Well, I know y'all are laughing yourselves silly, but hubby's cooking dinner
and kids are hungry, so I gotta git. I know, I know, the girls probably
won't even eat after I fix it, but I gotta give it my best shot. So, till
next time, give your little aliens hugs and kisses and lots of love. And
remember to laugh. Laughter and God's strength, don't forget, are the only
things that can get us through these trying times.

Watch Your mouth

When I was a little girl, seems like I was always hearing my mom say that.
"You'd better watch your mouth, ole girl!" she'd say. There was always a
good reason for it, too.

Today, not too many people tell me to watch my mouth, but this morning, the
Word did. I was reading my Bible and came across a couple of verses that I
want to share with you.

In 2 Corinthians, chapter 2 verses 1 and 2 it says, and I quote the King
James 1611, "But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again
to you in heaviness. For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me
glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?" Now, Paul isn't talking about
talking, but he could have been. If I say or write something that brings you
down, then who will be there to lift me up, except the one who was brought
down? Am I making sense?

A few days ago, I posted a blog that while true, is a bit depressing. My
intention was not to bring anyone down, but it seems that is just what has
happened. For that, friends, I am so very sorry. From now on, I'll try not
to write or say anything that could bring you down. It is our job as
Christian sisters and brothers to uplift one another. As the old saying
goes, "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at
all."

Y'all pray for me, and I'll pray for y'all.

The Fourth of July

Today, July fourth means a lot of different things to different folks. To
some, it is the day the family gets together for a bbq or for dinner. For
some, it means heading down town to watch the fire works displays, and then
again for others, it's just another day spent alone. I actually spent the
day at my aunt's house for a cookout. She had bbq ribs, beef and vegies on
the grill, grilled corn on the cob, baked macaroni and cheese, potato salad,
sweet potatoes, cucumbers from the garden, fresh green beans and potatoes
from the garden, fruit salad and a german chocolate cake. Wow, yeah, plenty
of food! Most of the family was there and it was a good day. My girls are so
filthy that I need to go give them a bath before bed, but they're watching a
dvd and eating right now, so will give them a bit. My youngest sister
brought her guitar and we enjoyed her playing and singing while we visited.
The day, while good, was overshadowed by my cousin's little boy who has
hemophelia and is in the hospital as I write this, for an infection.

As a kid, I can remember trips to my dad's mom's on July fourth, to
celebrate the holiday and to celebrate my dad's birthday, July fifth. After
a day of burgers on the grill, we would head to somewhere and watch the fire
works. Being the only blind person in the family, i was inevidably asked,
"Did you see that one, Shannon?" Yikes, I got so tired of answering that
after a while I quit. Oh, to be a child again! To be able to answer, "Yes! I
see it!" Now, totally blind, it's nothing but a bunch of noise. We don't
even take the girls to see them, yet. We will in a year or two, when they're
are old enough to not be so scared.

But, with all this bbqing and grilling and family togetherness, let's try
not to forget what it's all about. My aunt gave my girls 2 flags, today, and
I couldn't help but think of how men died on that long ago day, just to give
me a chance to live in a country where I can choose my work, my religion and
who I spend my time with. July 4, 1776 was Independence Day and still is.
Today, looking back, many men and women have fought for the cause of liberty
and still do. Democracy back in the 1700's was something never tried before,
and we were expected to fail. However, as you can see, we haven't failed, at
least not yet. I'm afraid however, that if we don't nip it in the bud, we
may lose something more precious than freedom. Could that be dignity? What
do you think? Now, I'm not a political person, not by a long shot, but
shouldn't white protestants be free to worship, without being called racist?
And, for that matter, how come you're racist, only if you are white? Is
there such a thing as a black racist or a native American racist? And, since
when did a white protestant become a minority, and nobody care? I will
agree, we need to protect America's citizens; black, white, or whatever
color. I will agree that we need to take care of the homeless and hungry.
And, i agree that this country should be a place where a man or woman can
choose their own religion. So, if I'm free to choose my religion, then why
is it wrong to be a protestant? Protestants are not supposed to bash
muslums. Protestants are not supposed to bash Jews or buhdists or catholics,
but Catholics, Jews, Muslums, it would appear are free to bash protestants.
Why is that? To quote a song...and y'all listen up...

"What's wrong with living right? Can anybody tell me? I'm doing what I know
to do; living for Jesus. He's the way...the truth. I'm not going where I
shouldn't go. I'm serving Jesus with all my might. So, can anybody tell me
what's wrong with living right?"

Wow, I got on my soap box, didn't I? Well, I have freedom of speech. Don't
I?

You wanna know how to fix America? Well, I ought to run for president, cause
I have the answer. Yep! I know what to do. And, if you wanna know what to
do, here's how you find out.

step 1. Go get your Bible and open it
step 2. Open it to 2 Chronicles 7:14
step 3. read it with me

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and
pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear
from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

That's it! That's the answer! And, Obama's being payed how much?

Am I Truly Doing The Right Thing?

"No pain, no gain." Right? Well, sometimes, I wonder. Sometimes, I think I've really made a huge mistake. Then, other times, I could slap myself for being so stupid as to question the decisions I've made. I love my life, don't get me wrong. I love my husband, and I love my children. I wouldn't trade them for all the riches in the world. Maybe, I shouldn't even continue this post, that way, you won't have to know the shameful thoughts that run through my head. Then again, for the sake of being breutily honest, I'll keep writing.

 

I'm not so sure I'm cut out for being a full time stay at home mom. Maybe, I'm lazy. Maybe, I'm crazy. Maybe, I'm just lonely. What? Lonely with a 3-year-old and a 19-month-old in the house? Ok, so maybe lonely isn't the word for it. Maybe, lonely for adult conversation and companionship is what I'm trying to say. I don't know; maybe, I'm just depressed.

 

When I first found out I was pregnant with Faith, Terry and I were living in Romney, WV. It's a pretty, little town with stores, businesses and homes close enough to walk to. We had moved up there in the fall of 2003 and by the time I got pregnant, it was January of 2005. In the early days of living in Romney, my friends and I would walk nearly a mile every day. I walked aproximately a mile to work and back, 5 days a week, not counting the pleasure walks over the weekend. Even in rain, snow and chilly weather, I walked. I walked to fast food places and restaurants, the pharmacy, the doctor, the dollar store, to friends' houses, but mostly I would walk to the campus of the WV School for the Deaf and Blind, just to sit outside on a bench and enjoy the outdoors. I lost about 40 pounds in a matter of a few months, and was feeling great. Then, do to financial circumstances, we moved back home, close to my parents. I went from walking almost everyday, to almost no daily activity. I went from visiting friends on a regular basis, to only speaking on the phone every once in a while. I went from a working wife to a stay at home mom, after Faith was born in August.

 

Now, 4 years later, I have 2 beautiful daughters, a house that's always a reck, never getting out, unless it's to church and to eat, having no contact with friends, except a conversation over the phone once a week or so. I change diapers, wipe rears, give baths, fix meals, wipe noses, wash hands and faces, blog, write, crochet some, play on the internet, and rarely have a conversation with anyone over 3, except to talk about grocery lists and bills. I kiss my husband buy every morning, listen to chatter and wining all day, and when hubby comes home, I sometimes fool myself that we might get to talk, when he turns on the TV and shuts us all out. Sometimes, I call up a friend, but usually she's not able to talk. Mom calls more often these days, mostly because she's off work for the summer, but Mom's not the visiting kind; she's more like, "You need to go to the store? You want me to take the girls to the pool?"

 

I try to read in my down time...y'all know I love books, but I can barely make it through the first chapter; they just bore me, anymore. Inspired by the publication of "Wild Heart", I try to write, but mostly the ideas don't make it outside my head. I try to practice singing and playing the piano, but I've been keeping a cough that doesn't allow me to sing much, and I can't play the piano for the rugrats crawling all over me. It's sweet, and I don't mind, really, but I don't get much practicing done.

 

I try to get the girls out, at least, I used to try, but when the grass is so high, Kierstin, the baby, can't hardly walk in it and when there's the threat of a copperhead...I'm still scared by that one that was found a few weeks ago, well, I stopped trying so hard. It's summertime, and they should get out, but to where? The neighborhood park, which is really nice is full of kids all day, and I don't feel comfortable taking the girls and trying to watch them with so many kids around. I try taking them on walks, but with Kierstin not able to walk good, I have to carry her on my back, and honestly, I just don't have the energy for it. Even when she does walk better, how do I use my cane, hold Faith's hand and Kierstin's at the same time? I thought of getting one of those wagons, then they both could sit in it and I could pull them along. Not a bad idea, but where would we go? I certainly can't take it on the bus to go shopping.

 

And, speaking of walking, those 40 pounds i lost in Romney, I gained them all back, plus several more. I'm so out of shape, it isn't funny. I need a major diet and exercise plan, but who would watch the girls while I go for arobics in the pool? Or, who would drive me and watch the girls while I go for CURVES or Weight Watchers or some other diet management program? If I could just get out on a regular basis...

 

Ok, ok, I know I'm being negative, and I know it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself, and maybe I am, but I just don't know what else to do. I want to move back to Romney, where having a wagon would at least help, because I could walk to the store. I want a bigger house, where I can have a room special for toys that I can shut the door on when someone comes over. I hate tripping over toys on my way to answer the door.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking or begging for help; I'm just venting, here. I thought of going back to school, but who would watch the girls? How would I pay for a sitter? And, not only that, hubby wants me to stay home with them. He's got a good point, and I'm not arguing with him...I don't like the idea of someone else raising my kids, but...and this sounds so very selfish...what about me? What about my social life? Now, I know hubby doesn't have much of a social life either, so I'm not trying to say he does and I don't. It's just that, by the time he comes home, I wanna talk and he doesn't.

 

Speaking of school, you know what I thought about doing? Massage therapy. Yeah, i know it doesn't bring in much money, but I'd love to do it. The schooling is only about a year, but... So, I could send Faith to preschool, and when kierstin's old enough, do the same, but I don't want them turning out like so many public school kids; I want them to have a good Christian influence. So, where's the balance? What am I supposed to do? Have I made a huge mistake?

 

Well, I've said quite enough, I guess. I just needed to vent. Sorry if i brought you down. Didn't mean to. Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I'm certain God is faithful!